Anniversary of Joseph McCarthy's Witch Hunt

"McCarthy enthusiastically agreed and took advantage of the nation’s wave of fanatic terror against communism, and emerged on February 9, 1950, claiming he had a list of 205 people in the State Department who were known members of the American Communist Party."


The Den is rapt by a hunt of it's own. Dissent and mistrust are afoot...

New Jackal Feature: I Live This Shit

No no no.....I told you.... I live this shit ... I aint just up here, rappin and tappin, spittin and skittin and shit....Naw, uh uhh, not me...I'm not you, I'm not you rapper, I'm not you...

Back in the day we here at the den had regular features... well... on the regular. All we have leftover from these glory days is the Friday Hottie and when you think about it the Friday Hottie is kinda gross. BMR is jacking off at some time during the week and finds a new girl to bust on. Then he finds 7 more pics of her and feeds it to Tico and BHMF. Y'all ninjas are getting Booger McRightHands sloppy Internet seconds... but I digress...

I'm introducing a new feature here at the Den called "I Live This Shit". Basically you do something Jackal as Fuck, tell us about it. Take fucking pictures. And tag it.

Expect something from yours truly on the regular because I Live This Shit each and every day. And what do we have here? The first installment of I live this shit is already up?!?!?! Did Scar Shoulders just post in the past like Doc Brown in Back to the Future?!?!?!?!? JTFC that dude is Jackal as fuck. Make like Westside Connection and bow down before your God.

Hoooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllaaaaallllllluuuuujjjjjjjjjajaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

If You Gotta Go...

"A California man attending a cockfight has died after being stabbed in the leg by a bird that had a knife attached to its own limb."

News Flash: Stupid People Are Stupid

I know this probably comes as a shock to you jackals.

God Bless The USJACKAL!!!!!!!!!!!! State of the DEN does not stop it just CON TIN UUUUUUUUUUUUUU

"It is one year before Armageddon in this, the year of Our Lord Two Thousand Eleven. The year of the Rabbit. Anubis likes him some rabbit. You know what this all means to a Jackal??? We are going to eat mighty well this year. So enjoy boys, it is a good year to be a Jackal.

Now let us not forget that we Jackals are Statesmen of the highest caliber and with this Statesmanship distinction comes an air of superiority. We are Anubis' ulitmate creation. It is because of this that we may ignore certain Laws of the Land and mix things that shan't ever be mixed such as: Liquor and Beer, Religion and Politics, Church and State. Please allow me to continue..........

It weren't too long ago that the ever so dignified Mr. Scar Shoulders was heard to say, "BHMF is gospel truth." Well holy light of the lord, bless thee. I accept the holy ordination and as honored as I am, let me humble myself and lead this Holy Den in prayer.

Pray with me Jackals:

I will thank you as long as I live. I will lift my paws to praise thee Anubis.

You satisfy my soul with the richest rabbits.

But those who try to destroy my life will go into the depths of the UNF.

They will be cut down by swords. Their dead bodies will be left as food for jackals.

But the Jackal will find joy in God. Everyone who takes an oath by God will brag, but the mouths of clones will be silenced.

Amen and HOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLEELLLL

LLLLUUUUJJJJJAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yo I dunno maybe I had it all wrong. You see I can admit when I am wrong, Cause after all anyone born of the Jackal is a blood brother in my eyes!

State of the Den Address

When the opportunity was given to me to address the Den and express my feelings on where we have come after 20 months of Jackalism I wasn't real sure what I would say. How can one sum up all that is Jackal in a single post? What would one even discuss? And then I read the most recent post on the Den. The answer was obvious... The Jackals Den has been cloned. Fuck me in the goat ass shit.

There have been 47 posts in 2011 and they break down as follows:

Topic	Posts	% of Posts
Politics	14	30%
Random Jackal Shit	10	21%
Friday Hotties	5	11%
Terps	5	11%
Unclassifiable Bullshit	5	11%
Caps	3	6%
Music	3	6%
Getting Awesome	2	4%

Do you see the fucking problem here? Was the Jackals Den not founded upon getting awesome? Was it not a place where UNF was hurled on a regular basis? It sure as fuck was, look at Day 1 of the Den. Day 2 and Day 3? Awesome and awesome. Look at that shit. Jesus Titty Fucking Christ it's awesome. What happened to Jackal Comics? What happened to Another Youtube From Ball Deep? What happened to Give a Mother Fucking Jackal His Props? We gotta get back to being Jackals. 4% getting awesome won't cut it. I'm sick and tired of watching Ann Coulter and John Stewart, oh sorry BHMF and BMR have limp dick political pillow fights. The State of the Den is clone, and only you can make it Jackal again.

Alright, I'll begin by calling this format into question. I accidentally read Shoulders' post before I wrote my own and to make matters worse, he was the only jackal that sacked up and gave a damn about his Den. Tico? Please. Head? Nowhere to be found. Voicemail? You're making me laugh. BabyFace apparently is the busiest college kid ever. He can flick you off, but he still can't legally drink, so it's tough to loop that jackal in on some jackalness. SS keeps telling me how much cool shit is on in his Droid in the form of digital photos, but the part I'm fuzzy on is why he don't get postal. UNF, son.

Don't tell me what the Den isn't. bhmf and I have been LDPFing, but we sure as hell aren't rattling off halfass comments while on the train. bhmf is like the Den's, Barack Obama. That jackal was a breath of fresh fucking air. If you ask this jackal, bhmf and I have a healthy exchange of ideas. Such is the foundation of the great 'Merica, a free exchange of ideas and when you disagree, look the fuck out. It's gonna stink. It's going to be a fecally, uriney mess. That's how we roll.

It

The Den has not changed. It's still sports, jackalness, yes politics rears it's ugly grill on the regular, but that shit is on a jackal's mind. A damn near guarantee is that your ol' pal Boogers will continue to bring you the hottest women he can find. What the fuck am I supposed to do? If y'all ain't posting, I'm taking this motherfucker over. I might drop a comment tax on your ass. Gimme that welf, cracka!

Really quick, I don't want to belabor this point. Please never tell me about clones, I know what clones are.

The State of the Den is good. It's poorly attended and maintained, but at it's core, there is a resounding, "Fuck you, clones. Fuck you, internet. Fuck you, you fucking fuck."

I Live This Shit: Super Bowl Weekend

Well what do we have here... another weekend where SS gets Jackal as Fuck. I'm shocked. SHOCKED. That the only mother fucker to scar himself with the holy word Jackal would be holding it down so hard in the face of so much clone adversity but low and behold he does... so what did this Jackal get into this weekend...

Friday Night
The night starts off tame enough with a 3pm work happy hour, a pitcher of beer, and then coming home and working out. Note to Jackals that find working out boring,
not when your drunk. Pre-drinking for all work outs from here on out. Highlights of the night include trying to make Big Buck Hunters only to not find Yager and making Southern Communist Hunters (Sweet Tea Vodka, Vodka, and Five Hour Energy) I had four of them, needless to say I was awesome. Shit happened, we hit the club, we skipped the line, bottles were popped, my boy Blair got laid, I got wasted, my shorty got wasted, we took a cab home from the south side of Stanton Park (125 yards as the Jackal walks, .5 miles as the cab drives) because shorty was done walking and pulled a raw Jackal power move and straight jumped in one when I was trying to tell her my crib is right there as I pointed at it. Awesomeness? Achieved.





Saturday Night

Brunch was eaten which included alcoholic milkshakes, coffee, a burger topped with eggs hashbrowns and a 1 inch slice of ham... you know regular Jackal recovery food. Got my Jackal on a handful of times, watched MD kick some ass and then this is when things really started to jump off.
Meet up with Voicemail, BMR, some other Jackals. Malt liquor. Big Buck Hunters. 90s Hip Hop. DOING THE MOTHER FUCKING BERNIE LIKE IT'S OUR FUCKING JOB. Cabs with We (Symbol of a Gun) Clones on blast. After party where BMR gets his holler on. More cabs with We (Symbol of a Gun) Clones and our ole pal boogers leaves his digits on a heart for shorties roommate.
Sunday
Wait SS you get awesome on Sunday too? Isn't that an awesome getting day of rest? Fuck no clone! Breakfast spread is made for shorty and her roommates. BMR is called over to get his breakfast/holler on. Get my Jackal on a couple more times if you know what I'm talking about... and cap things off watching the Super Bowl blasted onto the side of some dudes house with a Guinness in one hand and 100 chicken wings in the other.





That's a Jackal as fuck weekend, take notes mother fuckers, I LIVE THIS SHIT.

Kangaroo Courts........................

..............and Kangaroo Taxes go hand and hand. Baked beans are going to cost $50 soon and your fine Senator from MD, Boogers McRib, is gonna be taxing you an extra $10 a can so you don't consume too many.

If you can afford to scrape together enough money to buy some beans despite the hefty prices you'll still have to dole out a few more dollars before you are done. Oh yes, Boogers is serious about his carbon tax you see. Don't fart or you'll pay. And if you don't pay he'll have his buddy Malawi lock you up when you break wind.

You accused me of being "long-winded" my friend and well you might just be right. But if this is so, then it must follow that you are full of shit.

I am eating Mexican bean dip as we talk of which the main ingredient is baked beans. And shortly hereafter I will be farting so if you smell something funny down there in Capitol Town it might be our tax-happy elected representatives or it might just be a ALASKAN FART aimed in your general direction!!!

News To Me: bhmf and Tico Need a BMR Translator

Head, where have you been? I think your skills of deduction are needed back in the Den. Plus, there's a really hot Friday Hottie today. Anyway, I know my logic is roundabout and tangential at best, but why are bhmf and Tico so fucking stupid? Do you actually have to learn anything while you attend VT? Or do you just cheer for whatever thug they put under center and ask to run the option and collect your diploma?

Yes, bhmf, I realize you aren't a Hokie, but your comments on the Egyptian protesters post have me questioning your abilities as a critical thinker. I'm wondering why you would bitch and moan about a carbon tax when there's very real concerns related to climate change.

Friday Hottie: Melissa Giraldo

 

She really likes her bike like BD2 does...