Funny Shit: Ovie on ESPN

Gay Clone of the Week: ESPNs My Wish

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/feature/index?page=MyWish

Jesus Titty Fucking Christ. Every fucking summer. Fuck.

Kids get cancer.

Athletes and franchises do charity work.

I fucking get it. I fucking know this. It's a probation thing. Nobody cares.

When I wake up at 6am to go to my hell hole of a job and am sucking down a cup of coffee to try and not die falling asleep driving to work I don't need to be beat over the head with this reality. Brett Farve drama is less torturous. Baseball highlights are less torturous. Anything is better than this. Tour de France and MLS included.

You want to do something cool? Why don't you splice some real world news into the broadcast so I can pretend I give a fuck around the water cooler. Is that too much to ask for? Not to see a kid pissing blood who will die at the ripe old age of six and a half playing video games with Hanley Ramirez while I'm trying to eat my fucking breakfast? Get the kid a mother fuckin lap dance or a kilo of coke to ease the pain and I'll tune in but until you start Jackaling up the cure I got the fucking disease . . . Gay Cloneitis for all you mother fuckers.

Seriously ESPN, go fuck yourself.