Please fix this Obama...for the love of everything Jackal

"Junkshot" - failed (but hilarious name)
"top kill" - failed
"top hat" - failed (fucking Brits...clone ass name)
"cut" and "cap" - failed
Tony CEO GCOTCentury "I want my life back" - major failure KFTC
'Merica - failed
BP "bullshit" "deceive" "flatout lie to everyone" - raving success

For fuck's sake. And this is the best our gubment can muster "Clean this mess up or else we will be really really angry and stuff." 50 days later. Really? We have tanks and shit. Come on Obama, didn't dubya teach you anything? We can just start wars whenever we want. US vs. BP we are bound to win. It is like Persian Gulf I. Braveheart those muthafuckas! FREEEDOOOMM!

Kick anyone's ass please. I'll help.

Shit, find someone to pay me my salary and I'll go down and start cleaning right now. Just fix this shit.

PS we are all addicted to oil and this is all of our faults. (cell phones, plastics, cars, computers, electricity, yada yada yada - all rely on oil production) I am well aware of this and that is what is killing me the most I think. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go send a text message will driving my massive SUV, and drinking out of a plastic water bottle to get a block down the street.

GCOTD: Brit Hume and FOX News

Wow really? You are really this stupid, huh?



What the fuck are you assholes talking about??!?!?!

Apparently you have to watch news from other countries to see what is really going on:


BMR, I wonder what India is like this time of year? Maybe we should consider exile there. The Beatles seemed to dig it.

Pontius: Appointment of the BM frightens me

I think it has been long enough now to openly discuss the pending nuptials of our beloved Nuggets a.k.a. VoiceMail.

If not, my bad for blowing up your spot, VoiceMail. It's not like I said you were having a kid like some other jackals in the room. (cough). I, myself, am quite fired up at the pairing for the obvious reasons, soon-to-be-Ms. Voicemail is JAF, as well as the fact that it is yet another excuse to get awesome. At any rate, if you haven't heard already, Pontius is in the driver's seat for sending him off into the married life. Based on his mancation performance, needless to say I am more than a little concerned.

Don't get me wrong, Pontius has been on the right side of getting awesome on more than one occasion. But someone that spends their time scouring ebay for DC United scarfs and rocking out to the Decemberists on his iPhone while riding on his fixie in the mean streets of DC does leave room for concern.

I have not heard any murmurs of possible BP ideas, and I am certain it will go off without a hitch, but I have a feeling I am not alone in having some reservations about the possible Gay Clone infiltration of said event. Thoughts?