Wow: Sucks to Be That Guy

A hapless state information-technology worker who usually joined his office lottery pool took a pass last week -- only to learn that seven positive-thinking pals nailed a whopping $319 million Mega Millions jackpot, said a deli owner who knows the winners.

"The word is that when they were going around the office asking who wanted in on the pool, one guy said no, that he wasn't feeling lucky,"

Cook said the geek squad came in for lunch daily -- but haven't been seen since beating the one-in-176-million odds in Friday's drawing. Customers who know the winners told her they weren't planning to return to their jobs -- except to pass along unfinished business to colleagues.

KFTC, New York Post, as if the poor fucker didn't already feel like dying.

Boogers' Wide World of Sports

Stop me if I'm reading too much into this, but how can this go on peacefully on one side of the world, while this goes on on the other? 'Merica got itself some issues.

WTF?: 2 Years in a Chair Guy

One officer said it was the worst thing he ever responded to. And most said the worst part of all was the smell. Ironically the landlord says the man in the chair rented from her before and used to be a vital active person.


Police said the man's skin had become attached to the fabric of the chair after he sat in it for two years. Authorities said he was sitting in his own feces and urine and maggots were visible.


Shockingly, two other able-bodied people lived there---another man, who had a separate bedroom, and the girlfriend of the man who was stuck in the chair. Officials say the girlfriend served food to him, since he never got up.

In other news, this Colombian football fan's friends are fucking nuts. If y'all jackals get a hold of my corpse, march that beast into M&T Bank vs. the Steelers on Monday night. The runner up would be getting cremated and having my ashes scattered all over the Pittsburgh bench.