Calling all Jackal lovers(serious post)

Yo it's come to a point where I have to choose whether I find this jackal a farm or put him down. The screen is burning my eyes because I was crying all day. And because this post is such a downer, I have to add that Friday Hottie has some competition(NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!!!!!!). I thought pictures of plain hot chicks were hard to come up with on a weekly basis. For real on the real, if you know someone who can give this dude a job(a farmer), please email or call.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news......

.......and I hate to see Willie Nelson cry, but you know he is gonna cry when he hears this.

What is this world coming to? Next thing they are gonna do is ban surfing at the beaches. I mean WTF, everyone knows Holland and pot smoke go together like PB n J. I mean goddamn, can't there be one place in the world where drugs are all good? I mean I have never been to Holland (although I began the planning phases of going once or twice) but even at that I still feel good knowing its out there. You know what I mean? Like some poor dirty immigrant with the shittiest life ever feels good just knowing the good 'ol US of A is out there. It helps him make sense of his world, it gives him hope. Goddammit don't you hear me people? Immigrants unite. Pot smoke forever. Love you Willie. God bless all that is marijuana. Don't give up hope.

This is what happens Larry........

.........when you own a PINK handgun and when you watch too many, "movies and TV shows, like Sons of Anarchy, that show tough guys with guns shoved into their jeans (which) are not realistic".

To quote the article: "The cops and robbers of the silver screen most likely use rubber weapons, which weigh far less than the real things."

I mean seriously put that shit in your fucking pocket or listen to the PO PO and get a fucking holster you cheap dumb bastard. In your waistband, seriously? I mean do you think that thing is secure flopping around in your pants??? Not to mention I would like to see you draw your piece when it is stuck precariously inside your pants. That'd be a fucking laugh! Shit if he didn't shoot himself putting it in there he sure as hell would probably shoot himself trying to pull it out real quick!

So will modern medicine save this idiot's reproductive capabilities? Or perhaps he has already reproduced? Aghast let us hope not! Let Darwin thin the herd I say!

WTF?: 2 Years in a Chair Guy

One officer said it was the worst thing he ever responded to. And most said the worst part of all was the smell. Ironically the landlord says the man in the chair rented from her before and used to be a vital active person.


Police said the man's skin had become attached to the fabric of the chair after he sat in it for two years. Authorities said he was sitting in his own feces and urine and maggots were visible.


Shockingly, two other able-bodied people lived there---another man, who had a separate bedroom, and the girlfriend of the man who was stuck in the chair. Officials say the girlfriend served food to him, since he never got up.

In other news, this Colombian football fan's friends are fucking nuts. If y'all jackals get a hold of my corpse, march that beast into M&T Bank vs. the Steelers on Monday night. The runner up would be getting cremated and having my ashes scattered all over the Pittsburgh bench.

Yo They Owe This Broad Some Money!

I mean she fucking paid $22 dollars to get her kid a fucking birthday present.

The poor little guy probably had fucking cancer too and all he ever wanted was a dead puppy for Christssake. WTF is wrong with these postal workers nowadays? There job is not be peeking inside shit they deliver, they just gotta deliver the motherfucker. Who are they Curious George? I mean shit, she told 'em it was a toy robot and toy robots make noises inside boxes and stuff. Goddamn........................

And then she gets charged with animal cruelty on top of her not getting her money back??? Oh lord this is wrong. I mean the USPS clearly dropped the ball on this one. Besides it ain't animal cruelty if the puppy is that fucking ugly, did you see its mug? WTF is that thing a poodle? Shit maybe the post office did that kid a favor.................

We can't all be winners BMR......

.

....................just take this guy for example. I mean he has a Scottie dog on his freakin' hat!!!! And what the fuck is stitched on his socks? Oh lord, the free world collectively sighs. If only I could reincarnate TJ and let him go Jackal on his pathetic ass, boy would I feel better!

WTF?: Ravens "Statement" Games

A few weeks back, Ravens head coach and one jackal motherfucker, John Harbaugh, wondered aloud "why the Ravens don't get a non-Sunday, home game in primetime", as if he and his team were slighted in some regard to going on the road for marquee matchups. When you consistently fail to make a statement in those games, however, you can see why someone might not put you first in line. Denver(MNF 2 seasons ago), Green Bay(MNF last year), Atlanta(NFL Network), Tom Brady/Ben Roethlisberger/Payton Manning, get up for these games, yo! Next Monday, my boys get another chance, MNF, primetime, nationally-televised, but it's against Houston. That's not a statement. Well, it is if they don't win.

KFTC: White Trash Moms

You could cut the trashiness with a knife. I don't know what FarmVille is, but I hate Facebook.

Keeping It Clone: Humans

Yo, this be some whack ass clone shit. Love me some animals, yo.

"Forty-one percent of all amphibians are now threatened with extinction."

Jackals Gone Whack

To folks that enjoy good old rock n' roll today was a sad day, massive jackals of yesterday Kings of Leon performed on the blasted Today Show. This tilts the cheese factor, and not in their favor. To the kings of yesteryear I pour out some Hennesey.

Matt Lauer's a tool.