The World is Not TOTALLY Fucked

So I'm typically one to assume that a majority of carbon-based life forms are on the take. They're out to get a piece of what's Boogers's. Well broad brushes are great for painting barns, but you wouldn't want one to paint by number if you know what I'm sayin'...

But every once in a UNF colored moon, you get some wise guy(or gal), doing the right thing. Just because. Let me tell you it's fucking awesome. I had my day made by somebody who did something they didn't have to do at all. You see BMR's house has been hot as fuck. So dude went out on the ol' lunch break and picked up a Vornado at my local Strosnider's Hardware because you know BMR loves to help the little guy. So anyway, I leave work a little early, go to the parking garage, pay my parking, get up to the car, drive to my house only to discover at some point, I put down the Vornado and didn't pick it back up. I left it in the garage.

I spent the whole night pissed about the $75 I just flushed down the toilet. Stewed on it for a solid four hours of disbelief that I could be that fucking stupid. I had a good friend say, "Don't be pissed until you check the lost and found." I laughed at that thought and while hoping, assured myself that I would soon buy another fan. Wouldn't you know, some beautiful bastard picked that fuckin' thing up and took it to the parking office. It goes to show, if you're after getting the honey, don't go killing all the bees if you know what I'm saying.

KFTC: Miami Heat Fans

This shit is really fucking stupid. How are you going to have such little faith in "your" team? You really need to resort to black magic and voodoo because LeBron ain't the Chosen One. I'd "choose" Dwayne Wade over that bama any day of the week. Go get 'em, Dirk! Do we have to wait until Sunday again? Oh yeah and I just saw this. Karma can be a total bitch sometimes.

R.I.P.: White Supremacist Leader

“He was the kind of guy who could and did get along with everyone,” said Bill Roper, head of Arkansas-based White Revolution.

Well, not everyone.

Karma Is A Bitch: Tony Parker

Haha! Dare you go, Tony Parker! How you like that you son of a bitch? I knew she was too good for your clone, French ass. The Spurs suck, you suck and now I can go back to completely sweating your (soon to be) ex-wife.

Eva, get your fly tookus over here and let BMR show you how jackals do. Uh, you missed a spot, sweetie.

Karma is a Bitch: Boogers McRib

So the hot chick I called out in the Den yesterday gave your boy BMR some Dap this morning...

"By the way, you should be an AP(associate producer) if you are doing all this! Or at least getting AP credit on some of these shows..."

 and now I feel pretty shitty. Actually, that McRib photo just about sums it up.

Karma is a Bitch: Hot Chick Who Makes Me Do Her Work

Dare you go, hot chick who makes me do her work! Do you have any idera how fruckin' busy I ram?!!? So (one of) the girl(s) that makes me do all her work was just getting railed by her boss about how she isn't doing her job, which is very similar to what I was saying last week. It felt awesome to hear him bitch her out for like twelve minutes within ear shot of 15 co-workers.

P.S. The man who ended Baltimore's consecutive games without a 100-yard rusher streak has been arrested. No karma to thank for that one, just good ol' fashioned Bengals' character issues. And the Steelers' offensive line that was already patchwork, has lost a big piece. Apparently, the ex-Cowboy and walking penalty flag Flozell(with a really fucking stupid name) Adams is being looked at. Ravens faithful could try to script a better offseason, but they would need Michael Bay's help.