KFTC: The Human Race

Movember, where you at? Cancer was made by man, it can be cured by him. Ba leeve that.

JOTD: Ed Reed

This is a bad man. Get back soon, Jackal.

In other news, this is fuckin' hilarious:

Random Acts of Awesome: Girl at Lincoln Park

BMR be on his dog walk like 60% of the time he's not working. It's cool, keeps a dude busy, keeps some exercise in a ninja's routine. Some days it's kind of tough to make the trek to the park, especially if he was up late the night before making comics or dope ass hip hop as a ninja has been known to do. However, when this jackal rolls out of bed and walks 10 blocks to the park, it's pretty refreshing to come across you, girl who runs in the morning wearing only a sports bra and pair of shorts. You take this jackal for a little stroll through your breasts that glisten in morning sunlight and a stomach fit for frying eggs like Valeria Golino in 'Hot Shots'. So keep running, girl who runs in the morning wearing only a sports bra and a pair of shorts. Here's hoping your tolerance for cold buys me a few more weeks/months of creeping you out while you run past me and my dog.

We are getting distracted by Gay Clones....Focus on the task at hand

FUCK YEAH

What's that?  The Jackals Den is now the first thing to appear in google search of "jackals den" and that scrimp ass other Jackals den blog is nowhere to be found?

We cannot be faded...

DJ Shadow = JACKAL AS A MOAFUCKA

Every jackal should make it a point to witness this DVD.  If you think because a DJ doesn't play an instrument that means they are not musically talented you are GAF...

GCOTD: Weird Environmentalists

I like trees as much as the next guy. Rocks, rivers, streams, oceans, fields, valleys and animals are great as well, but these extremists are making it quite unjackal to consider yourself an environmentalist. I mean really? You are really this upset about a tree? What happens if your family member dies. I hope I am not around for that. Something tells me that there may have been some other "natural" forces at work here. Types of substances usually reserved for Cirque de Soleil, Phish concerts, and road trips on motorcycles. Or in some jackals cases, Wednesday nights. All the more reason to stick to beer.



This whole green movement smells of ball cheese and hippie notions of things not possible in the real world. If you like trees, move to Montana and start a commune. I guarantee you will find alot of trees there and not alot of people. If that is your thing go for it.

I like visiting those places and I wish where I lived was more like it, but it is just not realistic. I also like being able to drive, not having to hunt for food, having a beer, watching football, having lights and running water, playing with my kid in the park, talking to other human beings, visiting with my family, and jackalin' it up with my jackals.

If you live on the East Coast, West Coast, Mid West, Dirty south, or anywhere else in this country with any kind of population then expect some urban sprawl, pollution, asshole mentality from others, Starbucks, Walmart, shopping centers, McMansions, tainted water, loss of trees, etc. etc. It pisses me off too, but it is bigger than any one jackal. You just have to take care of you and yours and do your best to not contribute to the problem. Tree funerals is just plain GAF. Go the fuck asleep you granola eating hippies.

I'M BACK...GO ASLEEP!!!!

Where has a jackal been?  Have you been lost without me?  Apparently so because shooting elephants falls under the weird category and TICO is basically photoshopping porn to get it in the Den.  

Not that I am complaining, I am happy to see that we are finally getting new posts and more Jackals doing their thing.   Although I now understand how all those other fools felt when this shit jumped off in the beginning.  A few days away and there is so much goodness that it is difficult to digest in one sitting.  Jackals are keeping shit live.  That's what this shit is all about. Let your balls hang out and say whatever the hell you want.  Shit, What Would Steven Do?? Blow off some steam of course.  

Here is what a jackal (note:  not ninja) has been up to these past few weeks during my absence from the Den.

You may remember the Windjammer as my post nuptials awesomefest in Stone Harbor, NJ. Note that all of the below all left our baby jackals at home in this picture (yep now that I am almost 30 this is considered getting awesome):

Respect your Jackal elders.  These Silver Foxes are rollin' propa.  Getting drunk with both pairs of in-laws??  Surely you jest??  No, my jackals...word is bond.

Pre-getting awesome at a wedding in Dirty Jerz.  The gift bags were Giants bags.  Ours mysteriously was torn up and thrown in the hallway by some drunkass jackal.
Showing these Northerners how to eat crabs.  Yes that is the mancation tshirt...again.
Me and Jackie catching some rays.
The kid I will be kicking the shit out of in 16 years for trying to hook up with my daughter.  Jackie's get-up courtesy of BMR.

Most Jackal of All Time

If you ain't got love for Miles, you ain't no Jackal...

Give a muthafuckin' Jackal his props: Scar Shoulders

It's Monday, which means it is time for yet another installment of give a muthafuckin' Jackal his props.

How many of you can say that you have made another human being lick the bottom of your shoe? How many of you can say that said individual happens to be twice your size, sober, and, oh yeah, you also have a torn ACL with a gigantic cast, sandal and sock combination on at the time?

Not many right? I can think of only one person who carries with him such a statement. In addition to a plethora of badassery and hilariousness that has followed him through the foothills of Riverhill back to Glenelg, through College Park and DC. SS was one of the fortunate few who was there from the Genesis of the Jackal lifestyle (.....porkchop, extra gravvvvay!). Although he has been rockin' that shit C2G (cradle to grave: dumbed down for Babyface) from day one.

Here are a few things that SS excels at:

*Getting awesome skills

*Freaking out the Squares skills

*Hip Hop Knowledge skills

*Wrong team liking (Giants) skills

*Good team liking (Terps) skills

*BBall Skills

*Mixtape Skills

*Operation of utterly horrible, and probably unsafe (Until recently) vehicles skills (Corolla, Datsun pickup, etc.)

*Arguement skills

*Making fun of skills

*Funny remark skills

*Blogging skills

*REPLY TO ALL MASTERY

*Cat liking skills

*Meat cooking/eating skills

*Cholestorol evasion skills

*Sunburn skills

*Party having skills

*Work evasion skills

*Parents house sharing skills

*Giants Starter and Triumph leather visor rocking skills

*Getting into and out of legal trouble skills

*Chinee Foo sounding name even though he hates asians skills

*Jackal Mastery skills...to the fullest

The list goes on but you get the point.

So here is to you Scar Shoulders, you not only wear the scar on your shoulders to prove your jackalness, you live it and breathe it everyday.

HHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!

Hipster Jackals??

I am not sure if that is an oxymoron, but this band has all the makings of being Jackal. They don't give a fuck and it shows. Their Indian front man is a freaking madman and they rock. Picture Thin Lizzy + Blues Brothers + The Animals + lots of Acid + P-Funk + Indian people = Fuckin' Jackal ass shit. Based on my butthole surfer submission, you all are not watching my posts but I could give a fuck because I want to have all this shit in on place. Baleeve it!!



Courtesy of Wikipedia:

King Khan and the Shrines, sometimes referred to as King Khan and (His) Sensational Shrines or The Supreme Genius of King Khan and His Sensational Shrines, are a Berlin-based garage rock and psychedelic soul band.
The band was founded in 1999 by the twenty-two year old King Khan, formerly of Canadian garage rock outfits The Spaceshits (where he operated under the pseudonym Blacksnake) and Kukamongas. The band is noted for its impressive stage antics. Typically King Khan is scantily clad, and the overwhelming frontman. His performances feature a cheerleader, and a mixture of instrumentation including, but not limited to: keyboard, baritone saxophone, guitar, bass, and drums. He played an energetic concert at the 2008 Pitchfork Music Festival.