State of the Den Address

When the opportunity was given to me to address the Den and express my feelings on where we have come after 20 months of Jackalism I wasn't real sure what I would say. How can one sum up all that is Jackal in a single post? What would one even discuss? And then I read the most recent post on the Den. The answer was obvious... The Jackals Den has been cloned. Fuck me in the goat ass shit.

There have been 47 posts in 2011 and they break down as follows:

Topic	Posts	% of Posts
Politics	14	30%
Random Jackal Shit	10	21%
Friday Hotties	5	11%
Terps	5	11%
Unclassifiable Bullshit	5	11%
Caps	3	6%
Music	3	6%
Getting Awesome	2	4%

Do you see the fucking problem here? Was the Jackals Den not founded upon getting awesome? Was it not a place where UNF was hurled on a regular basis? It sure as fuck was, look at Day 1 of the Den. Day 2 and Day 3? Awesome and awesome. Look at that shit. Jesus Titty Fucking Christ it's awesome. What happened to Jackal Comics? What happened to Another Youtube From Ball Deep? What happened to Give a Mother Fucking Jackal His Props? We gotta get back to being Jackals. 4% getting awesome won't cut it. I'm sick and tired of watching Ann Coulter and John Stewart, oh sorry BHMF and BMR have limp dick political pillow fights. The State of the Den is clone, and only you can make it Jackal again.

Alright, I'll begin by calling this format into question. I accidentally read Shoulders' post before I wrote my own and to make matters worse, he was the only jackal that sacked up and gave a damn about his Den. Tico? Please. Head? Nowhere to be found. Voicemail? You're making me laugh. BabyFace apparently is the busiest college kid ever. He can flick you off, but he still can't legally drink, so it's tough to loop that jackal in on some jackalness. SS keeps telling me how much cool shit is on in his Droid in the form of digital photos, but the part I'm fuzzy on is why he don't get postal. UNF, son.

Don't tell me what the Den isn't. bhmf and I have been LDPFing, but we sure as hell aren't rattling off halfass comments while on the train. bhmf is like the Den's, Barack Obama. That jackal was a breath of fresh fucking air. If you ask this jackal, bhmf and I have a healthy exchange of ideas. Such is the foundation of the great 'Merica, a free exchange of ideas and when you disagree, look the fuck out. It's gonna stink. It's going to be a fecally, uriney mess. That's how we roll.

It

The Den has not changed. It's still sports, jackalness, yes politics rears it's ugly grill on the regular, but that shit is on a jackal's mind. A damn near guarantee is that your ol' pal Boogers will continue to bring you the hottest women he can find. What the fuck am I supposed to do? If y'all ain't posting, I'm taking this motherfucker over. I might drop a comment tax on your ass. Gimme that welf, cracka!

Really quick, I don't want to belabor this point. Please never tell me about clones, I know what clones are.

The State of the Den is good. It's poorly attended and maintained, but at it's core, there is a resounding, "Fuck you, clones. Fuck you, internet. Fuck you, you fucking fuck."

The Jackals Den 1000th Post Extravaganza!!!

T-Large, get bent.
Shote sleeves, get fucking bent.
The Wiz and Head, get Greek bent.
Droppa Deuce, Boppa Bent.
Babyface, get a fake ID, buy a beer, then get bent.
Aldente Schwanz, get bent Philly style (in New Jersey).
King of the Jungle, King of the bent.
Tico285 and cqq99, obtener dobladas.
kaptainpat, captain bent.
VoiceMail and Pontius, bentmail and bentius.
Rusty T. Bone, Rusty G Bent.
Ball DEEP, bent to sleep.

McRib Booginator? My Jackal, I'll see YOU later.

July 23, 2010

Only 10 days left until the word is forever changed. Jackal's takeover 2010 is in full effect. The Year of the Clone will come to a violent dramatic end. Gear up and join the revolution.

Comic Off 2010 Round 1

Here are the ground rules gentlemen. Your comic is due in my gmail inbox by midnight EST Friday night. Both comics will be posted anonymously Friday morning with voting throughout the weekend. The author of the comics will not be revealed until after the first round is completed. Please include any tags you would apply to the comic as well as the title. Comics will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being Clay Aiken, 10 being Anubis. Enough bullshit...



Fighting out of the sticky icky green corner, weighing in at 145 pounds soaking wet. Representing Northeast DC. Trained by Brodie, sponsored by Dales Pale Ale. The reigning Comic Off Welterweight champion. In the purple and black hemp shorts with the box of tissues. Booooooooooooooooooooogers I'M JUST SAYIN MCRIIIIIIIIIIIIBBBB!!!!!!!

The challenger, fighting out of the burgundy and gold corner. Representing the mean streets of Plompton New Jersey. Weighing in at a newly manly weight of 175 pounds. With his daughter Jackie tattooed accross his forehead, trained by the ghost of Droppa Duece, and sponsored by YouTube. Baaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll STAIGHT OUTTA PLOMPTON DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your theme Gentleman... The members of the Jackals Den competing at the Ancient Olympiad.

The Evidence Mounts

I'll be honest I was a little unsure why Ball Deep had to go out and create his own little playground when the Den was basically perfect and required no further enhancements. I figured I would see what the first few days produced and then cast judgement from there. Well my friends, the verdict isn't good.

THERE IS SOME SERIOUSLY GAY AS FUCK SHIT GOING ON OVER ON BALL DEEPS BLOG!!

Now I'm not one to judge, but come on man. Don't be creating gay clone sister sites to the Den, that ain't right. Take us to break X...

The Communists Won

And I hate myself for letting it happen. BD2 and Boogers McRib know what I am talking about. I can't live like this.

all of our dicks and all of our pussies are gonna be covered in SHIT!

...if you fuckin' fucks continue to have your way with the Den. The Den is not a pre-teen Vietnamese villager for you to rape over her rice barrel. This isn't fucking 'Nam, there are fucking rules. Rule #1) America is the fucking shit. America is the best country. America did take everything it has from someone else and they will have it until someone takes it away.

If you want to keep tossing shit on our rock of badassery, tasked with upholding a large fucking portion of civilized human behavior, count these two slutty bitches out. They were going to drop the flags and show you all some goods, but then they read our blog and saw you guys suckin' Castro's balls and fuckin' hating on their shit. Stop hating, terrorist.