Go To Asleep!: Denmark

 Danes be some skrimps! Run and tell that. Where's Canada at? Fuck yo shit.

Boogerdamus: Caps Advance to Round 3

I know it to be so, because this mullet-clad ass clown predicted the Caps in the Stanely Cup Finals last year and we got bounced in the first round. He can go shove his mullet up Stamkos' ass. Go fuck yourself, B-Mel!

Next Jackal Up: Eric Fehr

Alright, it appears we might be down one Mike Knuble, but fuck it. Jackals like a nice challenge. Avery has to absolutely got to go asleep. If you're gonna take a penalty, make sure it's to put that cracka to bed.

Know Your Caps: Playoff Edition

Apples to Oranges: Crosby vs. Ovechkin

So this fag hurts his head and protests the regular season, sits out almost three months, cloning it up. The Caps practically beg Ovie to rest and what does he do? Sits out two games only to go right back the next week. Ovie will celebrate the same for a teammate's goal in the first period as he will his own overtime winner. History will decide who was better, but let's start by getting Ovie the Stanley Cup.

Meanwhile, you've got the Iranian government is disseminating the notion that the end times are upon us and we should be on the lookout for our god of choice, the "anti Christ" and other apocalyptic role players. I just hope those assholes don't interrupt the hockey.

Ovie's Back

Keeping It Jackal: Caps

Caps? Is that you? What a difference a year makes. Force OT and score 40 seconds in? I'm accustomed to watching that, but not emerging victorious. Activate Holtby from the Bears and watch him stop 24 straight Lightning shots in relief of Neuvy, who has been absolutely killin' crackas? Force OT again, 2 nights in a row, and win a shootout? No clone on display with these Capitals. JAF they are. Two problems still remain: 1) home ice needs to feel that way 2) power play is slacking, but getting Green back might time it up perfect for a playoff run. Any thoughts, jackals?

Funny Shit: Ovie on ESPN

JOTD: Ramajit Raghav

Aww shnap. This dusty old jackal's boys can swim. He snatched up some skins on some sexual healing. This dude found some mud for his turtle. Does anyone else think it's weird that some 'Mericans half this jackal's age need to take drugs to get ready to lay pipe? How about drugs that make you thin, make you sleep, make you poop, make you eat, etc.? Yo, Ramajit, keep fucking that chicken, you wrinkly jackal.

Boogers' Wide World of Sports

The Baltimore Ravens are back in the playoffs. With a gutsy divisional win on the road, the Ravens put all pressure to win the division and host a home playoff game back on the Steelers' shoulders, to beat the same team and maybe without their star safety, Troy Rides-A-Polamalu(at least that's what SS calls a ninja). The win was not easy, the Baltimore long snapper shredded his knee early in the game and played through significant pain. Apparently, the linebacker Tavares Gooden played through a dislocated shoulder, but such is the character of the players in the locker room. There were a few times where Cleveland got a few things going until the Ravens' star safety Ed Reed put a mother fucker to sleep. I was excited about the win so I threw on Ravens talk radio, but all the callers were bitching about the "quality" of the win and how the offense "sucks". I love Baltimore. I'm thinking something along the lines of Cam Cameron and his "conservative" play calls, some fans would like the Ravens to show all our offensive tricks two weeks before the playoffs with a 10 point lead. I do want a lot more Boldin, but his day draws quite near. Oh yes. Quite near.

Despite all the good news, it appears Ravens' top draft pick, 2nd rounder Sergio Kindle really is a total fucking idiot. After some rough news last week and a teammate telling him to be positive, he let everyone know that this, this and this were no fluke combination of luck or planetary alignment or anything.

Eli Manning is a clone. Shoulders, my mom called you out for being a fan of an out-of-state team today. I'm just sayin'.

In ice hockey news, main mother fucking jackal, Alex fucking Ovechkin's goal-less drought comes to an end on the same night Sadney Crysby's point streak ends. Senators are up 3-0 on the Penisguins as I post this.

Keeping It Jackal: Hockey

T-Large, good looking out on this one. BD two times is gonna shit himself. Unless, as SS pointed out, I'm getting the much maligned double post on.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Keep fuckin it fake 'Merica!

History will repeat itself: 4/28/09 to 4/28/10 and it don't stop it just continya

Go to Fucking Asleep

Canadiens may want to review this

I'm Just Sayin': Dudes With Chicks' Names

I don't know about the rest of you jackals, but that jackal donning a #8 jersey for the Caps isn't afraid of a goalie with a chick's name. While it wasn't immediate ScarShoulderdamus material, it looks like ol' SS wasn't too far off, although he may be completely losing his shit at work this week. Dude went OBD on a email chain 'Reply All', accusing two jackals and one wayward jackal relative of incestual gay sex acts. The original Jackals' Den is a tough destination for a midweek awesome fest, I'm just sayin'.

Fuck Canada

Fate?

I think not...bring it on clones. Regardless of the outcome we will still tear your hometown a new one for nuggets'es pre-nuptial hoonery festival (Head you should come), but I believe the Caps will prevail!

That answers that

Caps/Shittsburg

Not to sound like a clone, but should the Caps try to sweep the Pens tonight or just not get anyone hurt? It seems like they should try not to get anyone hurt (like resting Green last night), but it would be sweet to see Crosby and the douche squad lose at home again, tonight.



Discuss...

PS - Fuck Duke.

PPS - NFC Beast 2010 Champs balleevve it!

GCOTD Vol. 2: Sadney Crysby

Are you ready for some fucking 3rd period? Can the Caps borrow your boys' anthem, SS?

GCOTD: Sadney Crysby

In case you missed this on Monday night, another example of what a shitty sportsman Sadney really is. Keep in mind, the Shittsburgh Penisguins are down by two goals, get a good look at Sadney's cross-checking clinic on the 1st star of the game, Henrik Zetterberg. A real live jackal, Jimmy Howard, decided he had seen plenty.

We hate Shittsburgh here in DC/MD, but the hockey rivalry may belong to Detroit. Which is kind of fitting, because those two cities really suck ass...



...lest we forget.



Someone with a bit more time than BMR put one of these together. Awesome song.