Oh, Fani...

I'm going to take this bitch to court like Greenberg & Bederman. I'm hoping she doesn't strike back with Ryan Saiontz or some bullshit. We going to school like Ivan Drago and Apollo Creed, only in my version, the American fucks some shit up. I can't wait to tell the judge how she recommended I heat up my bath water on the stove. Or how I only had heat and hot water because my boy Miller was cool enough to wait for the guy to come turn it on. I hope my judge is a huge cunt like Judge Judy or maybe more of a Wopner. Either way, BMR is gettin' his collect on. And yes, we'll be near the, uh--some burgers, some beers, a few laughs. Our fucking troubles are over, Dude.

European Jackalcation: Live Update

From SS:

Out of work. Arm on cooler. Awesomeness about to be gotten.

10:47am

Bad ass Jackal: Kevin Barnes

Good news is official today for the Skins.

Courtesy Redskins.com:

The Redskins have signed rookie cornerback Kevin Barnes, the team announced
on Thursday. Barnes, a University of Maryland product, was the
Redskins’ third-round selection (80th overall) in the 2009 NFL Draft.
The
6-0, 187-pounder was the highest selection Washington has used on a cornerback
since the team drafted Carlos Rogers with the ninth overall pick in 2005
At
Maryland, Barnes started all 20 games the last two seasons and recorded 85
tackles, including 5.5 for a loss, six interceptions, two forced fumbles and 14
passes defended.

Oh, and if that does nothing for you there is this:

Hooowwwwwwwwlllllllllll

Not now Chief, I'm in the fucking zone!

We all knew this day would come eventually, the day I left the shackles of the real world for two weeks of vacation in the Greek Islands. But what will come of the Den? Will it survive?

My main Ninjas BD and BMR have been holding shit down the last few weeks. My own Jackaldom has been lacking as the corporate man has been holding me down. How can I fix this? What can I do? What can anyone do?

This is my promise. Tonight while getting awesome in Atlantic City I pledge to text BD and BMR an update for posting. While overseas I pledge to get online with my brother in laws computer and post on any and all Jackalisms. Can you imagine the number of Jackal statues I will purchase so close to the Jackals epicenter in Egypt? Epic it shall be.

So Jackals, I beg of you, do not let me come home to the harsh realities of the real world and a Den that is vacant and deceased. For the love of Anubis don't let that happen.

One.