We can't all be winners BMR......

.

....................just take this guy for example. I mean he has a Scottie dog on his freakin' hat!!!! And what the fuck is stitched on his socks? Oh lord, the free world collectively sighs. If only I could reincarnate TJ and let him go Jackal on his pathetic ass, boy would I feel better!

Talk about GAF . . .

Yowsas. This dude could be gayer if he was on all fours suckin the wide outs dick.

The Giants are gonna beat that ass son. Beat it like a drum. Beat it like a steel drum. Like a steel drum at Rhumbar. And your boy SS will be dancing. Dancing like a man possessed!!!

TV is about to get . . . . Gay as FUCK!

http://www.nbc.com/sing-off/video/clips/the-sing-off/1179089/

Yup. That will be on TV. I would assume 5 days a week eventually. Have fun BD2.

Walmart...America's cockroach

This is pretty damn shocking.

The Communists Won

And I hate myself for letting it happen. BD2 and Boogers McRib know what I am talking about. I can't live like this.

Fuck the NFL

Can someone explain to me why instead of watching Saints-Giants or Ravens-Vikings I'm stuck with these abominations? The combined record of these four teams is 3-16 (0-13 against real teams).

I live no less than two and half hours from Charlotte and four hours from Washington, so why the fuck am I forced to watch shitty games when there are good games on?

Update to last week's post: The Redskins' last 5 opponents are 3-2 against the 'Mericans but 0-22 against everyone else (excluding today's game between the Bucs and Panthers). Daniel Snyder...wow.

Questionable Lineage: Head and The Wiz

Just got back from Greece. Many posts will be made. This one could not wait however.

Head and The Wiz are the descendants of some serious O G Cs, Original Gay Clones.

This shit was all over the place in Greece. Every museum I went to had a sculpture or mosaic or painting or carving of a dude fucking a dude. Every crappy gift shop had a magnet of three dudes having a threesome (couldn't find it on the web unfortunately).

Ancient Greeks were apparently the most GAF people in the history of the world. I find it shocking they found the time to screw any women and even create Head and The Wiz with all the gay sex they were having and then the time they were spending documenting it and then preserving and archiving said documentation.

Apples normally don't fall far from trees, I'm just saying . . .

A Jackal's Perspective: Why America Sucks

So, it's been a pretty popular opinion in the past, I don't know forever, that the rest of the world hates America. As a matter of fact, if you travel to Central, South America or Canada and say your American, they will probably punch you in the face or the stomach. Or if you say that to a Canadian, they will be really offended and do fuck all about it.

This is one reason why the world hates us. We think we run everything. We are not American. We are from Europe or Africa or South America, or some other place and we came here and took everything away from the real Americans. Then we go around the world swinging our big American dicks in other people's faces trying to get all up in their business and then wonder why our others opinion globally is unfavorable.

Many Americans say it is because people from other countries they are jealous. Jealous because we have such great schools and public works and contribute so much to the world through industry and technology and we have the brightest and most dedicated people out there. If you are comparing us to Cuba or Malawi you may have a point, but if you look at the majority of other countries you realize that is complete bullshit.

It is also easy to say that certain areas of America are to blame for our suckiness, and I would argue that is just plain false. You can't blame all of our lameness on the Midwest or the Dirty south although the bar does get lowered slightly for those regions. I challenge any one of my jackals (aside from those already in the Northeast) to spend any amount of time up here in the Tri-state and not want to become a homocidal maniac. NJ just breeds some dumb mother fuckers...straight up.

The amount of stupid people in this country is staggering. People are just plain into themselves. You rarely see someone do the standard nice things like hold a door, help an old lady cross the road, tell a big breasted woman that you want to touch her, etc, etc. I challenge you, call a customer service center, drive on a road, stand in a line, order a coffee, get gas, watch TV, listen to the radio, do you see a common element to all of these things? It is nearly impossible to do any of these activities without wanting to gouge your eyes out with a salty, rusty spoon because you will without a doubt encounter a person so offensively dumb/GAF that it makes you question the purpose of it all.

Don't even get me started on the travesty that is our government, and "too big to fail" corportations and the corporate greed that has sucked the individualism that made this country so awesome dwindle to a glimmer of hope. Federal Bailouts, recessions, credit crunch, housing woes, Hurricane Katrina, Iraq War, the W years, big banks, WTO, pollution, F150s, suburban sprawl, Starbucks, Walmart, welfare, no child left behind, crime, drug war... it just goes on and on.

But all is not lost my Jackals. For we have each other to help us through the struggle. That is why we serve a purpose greater than ourselves. To get awesome at all costs. To put a muthafucka in his place when he is acting like a bitch. To make jokes, watch sports, take our shirts off and relax, and to attain wizard status whenever possible. It is time to make America great again. It is time for the Jackals to rise up and fuck shit up! HHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!

Gay Clone of the Day: Mike Golic

Look how excited he is to take in that poorly drawn throbbing dick. It's like a shitty ass meal from Nutrasystem, delicious!

I know this gay clone has already been touched upon by BallD but he really pissed me off this morning and if there is one thing a gay clone shouldn't do is piss off a tired Jackal. Mike GoLickMyBalls was ranting on and on about the Washington Nationals being the worst franchise in sports. Greeny (don't even get me started on this gay clone.) pointed out that they were an expansion team and Gay Juice was all "NO THEY AREN'T THEY WERE THE EXPOS!", which is even worse because MLB sold every last one of the decent players in their farm system which basically put them in a worse position 5 years ago than an actual expansion team because they had a ton of shitty players on the books. You know nothing ignorant fat blow hard. To boot this d-bag of the highest order is a fucking Cleavland Indians fan! Those losing fucks have been losing for 50 years and even had a movie made about how much they suck. Talk about the pot and the fucking kettle. To top it all off gay juice went to Notre Dame has sons that go to Notre Dame sells bitch food with Dan Marino and in general is a Mickey Mouse dick sucking bitch of epic proportions. And he played for the Eagles, fag. So Mike GoLickCliffLeesGrundle, notice is served, I have you in my fucking sights and if given the chance I will off you and deposit urine and feces in the gaping wound in your fat fucking chest. In the words of Ice Cube and Immortal Technique in that order: I spit hot lava and you're about to get burned by my pyroclastic flow. Die slow mother fucker!!

It should be noted that normally I avoid this gay clone and ESPN radio in general but my Sirius is on the fritz and I can only listen to CDs so many times. Man I gotta get my shit fixed.

WTF?????

JACKALATOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSSS Mount up!

http://gibsonblueshawk.blogspot.com/

Scourge of a Butterfly? Are you fucking kidding me? Lets UNF this page out of existence.

Return Fire From Unprovoked Attack!

Dudes holding a kitty witty in his profile picture. I'm just saying...

Goooooo!

GAF, times like this make me hate life in general.

SUCK A BAG OF DICKS

Find The Gay as Fuck Shit Quiz

There are 8 things that are Gay as Fuck in this Evite. Find all 8 and you get a special prize.

A handful of you are related to the person who has the time to send out this gay shit but doesn't have the time to look at or post on the blog. Your entire family is disgraced by these actions.

Official Writing Sample of a Recruit

Shit thats annoying
Im tired of fuckin acronyms. I understand yall gay clones have to keep your job so you dont wanna actually type out the words gay as fuck cuz your scurred the man will come down on you like a jackal on wounded animal. but i for one am tired of people using acronyms that are entirely too long. they are for scrimps and its just a bunch of bullshit. This is propelled by the every growing trend of not saying "bad words". If i wanna say fuck my life im not gonna say FML cuz thats fucking stupid. GTG ROFL BRB BFF BFFL? TTYL GAF PAF OMG fucking LOL. Its all a bunch of stupid fucking gay clones scrimtastic unjackal retarted laguage. or SFGCSURL

This post was created after Head and I had a conversation on E FUCKING MAIL at 9:19pm EDT. What Ball Deep said and did had no effect whatsoever on me deciding to post this. Ball Deep can try to run shit as much as he wants but things go down after 8pm on Mancations and nobody wants to follow a dude sleeping in a bedroom with his woobie when there are Shenanigans to be had.