Penis Buffet: Tico the Loco

Hey Ticodamus, do you have any more brave proclamations before your bitchass Hokies get stomped in the ground tomorrow? You and Head are gonna be watching 'The Notebook' on marathon loop when the Terps are done with you.

What up, ACC?

Good thing they don't have to play these clones every night, but ACC take notice. Terps might run some ball on y'all. Blacksburg, I'm looking in your clone ass direction. How do you graduate sexual deviants with a loose to 3rd grade grasp of the English language?


Tonight had all the makings for some jackal juxtaposition, but the Caps are playing like they were cloned during their brief stay in Shittsburgh.

JOTD: Torrey Smith

14 catches. 224 yards. 4 TDs. Dude is the fucking truth. I hope he comes back for one more year...

JOTD: CJ Brown

So I'm sitting here watching the Ralph Friedgen show and I stumble upon a Jackal of the Day in the most unlikely of places, a redshirt freshman who has played 4 college plays.

Rewind to last week's thrashing of Morgan State.

Play#1 QB run/pass option and he decides to run. Scrambles 12 yards around the left side of the line lowers his shoulder and runs over a DB.

Play #2 Uneventful handoff.

Play #3 Shotgun bad snap and the RB jumps on it and CJ doesn't. Kind of looks like he dogged it not diving on the ball.

Play #4 As told by the running back standing next to him in the shotgun. Calls out the cadence, says to his boy the RB "this might be interesting, I'm pretty sure I broke my collarbone". Dudes like "what?!?!" "hut hut!" take the snap and throws a perfect 12 yard out for a first down but the WR drops it.

So yeah. Dude broke his fucking collarbone on the first play and not only stayed in the game but stayed in the game made jokes about it and threw a perfect pass. If that ain't Jackal as fuck I don't know what is.

JOTD: Adrian Moten

This is the most ridiculous football play I have ever seen. Well done Mr Moten, well done indeed. (slow clap)

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Spartan blood shall stain the quiet streets of Spokane Washington tonight and General Greivis shall be unleashed. We will be cruel to the Spartans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And Northern Iowa will not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And Izzo will be sickened by us, and Greg Anthony will talk about us, and Seth Davis will fear us. And when the defeated Spartans close their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with.

LETS GO TERPS!

ps "Stop calling me KOTJ. Fuck KOTJ. KOTJ is too good for meat... KOTJ is too good for vagina... cause he's gay" drunk BabyFace after his mutton chops were repeatedly called KOTJs by BMR Friday night. Almost made me pee my pants.

It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up magazine!

J Wills kicking it old school pre game. Doing his own thing with his own anthem. Go head young Jackal. Do ya thing boy!

What time is it?!?!?

OH
OH
OH
OH
OH
OH

JOTD: The General

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Free dinner and drinks on donkeys from work.

What did the five fingers say to the face?

Tomorrow at 1:30pm MD is the old German guy and UVA is the Bama in the Mullet that shows up 15 seconds in. OJD in full effect if you want to come watch it with SS.

BALEEVE IT!

For my Terps Jackals

I have been giving the General the business mostly because I don't like him as an individual but also because I can tell it gets SS and BMRs panties in a bunch, but I must say when I saw this last night I was cheering my balls off.



PS The Capitals are so much fun to watch...Thank you NHL for not being an elitist piece of shit like the NFL and actually letting your out of town fans watch their home team.

PPS - Please let the Orioles be a decent team. .500 season is all a jackal wants

PPPPS - Yeah Shanahan cleaning house. Randle El who? get your old ass out. Out of the gutter and into the palace? Guess we will see..please get an offensive line and fire Portis for the love of jackals

Scar Shoulderamus?

I never really liked this song until yesterday, has a nice ring to it in the remix...

Was your boy right or was your boy right? Did MD go nine deep? Did Mosley, Williams, and The General all have legs left at the end of the game while Coach Ks players left shot after shot after shot short? Yes. And Yes.

And then on SportsCenter I see Scheyer crying after the game... Why you ask? Because my boy Grievis punched him in the mouth with runners and took ACC POY from him.

VIVA EL CALLEJERO!

Cannot be faded

Great sports night. 40 hours of work so far and it is only Wednesday

PS Duke's uniforms are GAF

PPS - I am watching Caps but the Canucks are on during the intermission so dont give me shit for having the wrong hockey game on.

PPPPSS - Work sucks balls

You're in the Terrordome like my man Chuck D said, It's time to dethrone you CLONES, and all you knuckleheads

Press play, now read. Lets get to it...




It's so fuckin on at 9pm tonight. The one thing that has always separated MD from Duke is the desire within the Terps. That blood of a slave, heart of a King shit. The Terps are 12-0 with your boy SS in the building this year and he will be live and direct from the second row. We'll be going deep tonight, to wear out Puke who plays a busted rotation of 6.5 guys. My boy Padgett might even get in SportsCenters Top Ten plays with a block or dunk.

I got a feeling Bowies gonna bust out the Mohawk and play lights out. He's actually turned things around nicely and contributed after I swore to Anubis that I would charge the court and punch him in his throat if he didn't start hustling again.


As for Tuck, what more can be said? Dudes been money recently and has a penchant for showing up big in big games.

Dino's been active on the boards ever since he stepped foot on campus and is athletic enough to play with anyone. Should teach those little Plumlee clones a thing or two about life in the paint on the road in the ACC.

Getting into our starting five you already know the deal. Landons solid as all get out. Needs to stay active on the glass, tally 2 or 3 blocks, and KFTC on the mid range jumper.

Sugar Sean has been spitting hot fire the last week. Dude must have the Mazda 6 wiretapped. After Ballstrami called him out, Sugar turned it on.
Eric Hayes? The 31st most efficient offensive player in the country. If Hayes takes 12+ shots, MD does not lose. To anyone. Get out there and do your thing boy.

Jordan Williams? Who knew a freshman would be the second most consistent player on the team. Jordan "Jackal" Williams has been getting his man on ever since the Villanova game. Firing up the home crowd, playing solid D, dunking on fools. Got to have it. Got to love it. Last but not least. The General. The leader. El Callejero. The Street Baller. This is his game. His Senior night. His ACC Player of the Year clinching performance. His last game in Comcast before his name goes to the rafters. My boys got Cajones the size of Anubis's legacy. My boys got more shimmies than Jackals on the Shenanigans dance floor. The man who made Tico owe me $20. Long live the street baller. Viva El Callejero. Respect thy Gangsta.

It's just plain on tonight. My boys ain't no joke. It's go time. Let's get to it.

LETS GO MARYLAND!

JOTD: General Greivis

2000 points, 700 dimes, 600 boards, only player in ACC history to do so. Top story on ESPNs home page. Carrying my red hot boys into the postseason.

VIVA EL CALLEJERO!!

For the love of the game, Part 2

This snow storm is all hype. I don't know what all the fuss is about. You think MoCo not plowing my street is gonna keep me from going to watch MD prison rape UNC?

View Larger Map

No chance homey. If Pop Dukes bails and SS has to walk, he will walk. He will walk and blog via Droid. Baleeve it.

ACC PSA: We Aint No Joke!

You come to Comcast Center this year and your gonna get disrespected and UNFed on. Terps ain't fuckin around no more. You think beating Duke by 15 at home means something? You come out and win the tip and hit a three? Then my boy Mosely busts an And 1 in your grill, we get a stop and a bucket, get up by 5+ and force you to call a timeout and YOU NEVER GET THAT CLOSE AGAIN. Beat NC State by 24 and it wasn't that close. YOU GOT A HOT DATE ON TUESDAY MIAMI, WOOOOOOOWEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Sad to report, the year of the clone continues...

Clone like activity that occurred in the last 76 hours.

• Ball Deep deleted a post of mine. A hilarious post. The Den has been active for over 6 months now and it is the fist time this has ever happened. The man is drunk with power. To be perfectly honest this may be punishable by death by Razzouk.
• Babyface wore a youth small Cowboys jersey and cheered for them loudly. He redeemed himself by getting really awesome. Still pretty clone like however.

Voicemail committed the following crimes against Jackaldom all in one weekend:

1. He sent me a text asking me if I was watching the GTown game, or the UConn game, I don't know who it was but it was certainly some Big East Big Gay Bullshit
2. He opted to hang out with his fair ladies high school friends instead of watching football and getting awesome with his Jackals.
3. He was hanging out with a Jackal who wanted to watch the MD game Sunday night and cast a vote to watch something else on TV. Dude grew up in Laurel and went to MD. It was their fist ACC game. They were in the process of beating a Top 20 team at home.

Three strikes ya OUT Voicemail!

Jackals be slippin.

Boogers McRib and Scar Shoulders may have to carry the flag of awesome by their lonesome this decade...

Terps Vs. Villanova Live Game Thread

Boogers and I are in the original Jackals Den. Eight one one Malcolm. We have beer. We've been drinking it. We rooted for the SKins even though neither of us like those Bammas. We've watched the Giants teach the Cowgirls the art of SMASHMOUF FOOTBAWL. We have had much salsa verde. The Terps are about to jump off. Watch the game and post in the comments. Garys about to get another top 5 pelt to put on the wall in his office.



HOOOOWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SS is to Reply all what Lawrence Taylor is to Crack

Because SS just loves replying to all almost as much as getting everyone fired up for upcoming events, this post is dedicated to being the spot that everyone can say whatever the hell they want about the 14th weekend. What you need to bring, ticket disputes, shit talking, etc. etc. Just 2 rules:

Don't use names, and no touching of the hair or face.

(Let's be honest, everyone is probably going to keep replying to all, but you can't blame a jackal for trying. )