SUCK A COCK: RAVENS

Hey after all this years is going to suck ass to lose to a 6 time Super Bowl Champion. Life aint fair, go cry somewhere else.

Peek a Boo

Peek the fucking boo motherfuckers...Please somebody cut this fucking deficit

p.s. Shit aint going to be pretty for while, PLEASE everyone have 6 months of income in liquid holdings...(a ton of cash i know...)

Jackal for LIFE: Google

I love Google and not bc you give me tities at random times of the day when my coworker is not in the office...it's because you tell me stuff like this

p.s. Ajax: FUCK YOU

Friday Hottie (A day early bc Jackals r getting strapped and economical and shit)

Mexican Hottie

Girlfriend/Wife/etc Requirements

Bitches need to know how to cook that's #1
#2 likey sucky a cocky

There is no #3 really but if there was, what would it be?

GCOTD: VUVUZELA master

You VUVUZELA master, you don't drink, you don't smoke, you VUVUzela the SHIT out of your plastic pipe all night long...

All night long...all night...all night....ALLL NNIIIGHHHT LONG....all night long

You vuvuzela on defense and on offense, when you score and when you miss, when you eat and when you piss...

oh you vuvuzuela master EAT some pussy or SUCK some DICK, whatever you do JUST STOP BLOWING AIR THROUGH YOUR PLASTIC AIR PIPE

STUPID MOTHERFUCKER



p.s. Yes those are bacon bras...yes indeed

How to tell you are the boss

You know when you know you have made it? You have reached the pinnacle of all things?
(No, not buying that "I am #1 hat") is when you are in your own office and you can just FART the shit out of your own office and people come and have to smell your feces entering their nostrils and SMILE....

YES BITCH SMILE AND SMELL MY SHIT!

Friday Hottie: Monica Bellucci

Friday Hottie: Kate Beckinsale

This chick's props are so long overdue, I almost feel bad throwing it down for her. Underworld really sucked, but it does have obscene blood in portions that made it pretty enjoyable. I never would have even considered wasting those two hours four times, if this blessed piece of awesome hadn't graced the screen. SS, keep your greasy flies on the ass-photo shoppin' paws of my main squeeze, aight? Happy Friday, Jackals. And to you, Ms. Beckinsale. Arf.

DId SS Pull a Virginia Tech Special?

SS, you alright? Did big boss man get to you? Hard luck, beast.

Have yourself(and Tico) a pair of Friday Hotties, a little early, courtesy of your boy Boogers...

Breaking News: College Shooter not associated with VT

A man who shoot up a community college in Northern Virgina surprisingly did not have any connections to Virginia Tech. The non-VT shooter did not even plan to transfer to Virginia Tech or had any family ties to the school.

There are reports that he was spotted at a bar that was showing the VT game, making some sense out of this senseless act.

p.s. Boogers why the fuck you post a picture of fat nerd computer kid?

SKULLFUCK URUGUAY IN THE ASS

Sorry Tico. Maybe this will make it better?

Balloon Boy go suck a cock

Hey nerd (and you know who you are) do you really think we live in caves with no TV, online access, WHO THE FUCK doesn't know about fucking ballon boy?

More importantly, POP QUIZ: what happens when below disappears?




FUCK IF I REMEMBER, but I WON BITCH!

We are going for round #2! Mr. Daniels you are the fucking shit!

How much is this worth?

Poker is gambling and luck and let no fool tell you otherwise. Yes some skill is needed BUT the game does boil down to luck. (how is it that there isn't any midget prostitues around here? i am just saying) WHAT can make you jump up and run at 2am? What's more intense? what makes u skull fuck monitors?

POKER: The best card game ever (is it Jackal? I don't know but Bond played it, doest that count?)

LIFE Gay clones: Referees

Can you imagine the ladders it is to climb to go up to refeere any sport?

The time, the shit, 20 or 30 years of refeering...for what? For some autographs and shit? NAH DUDE, motherfuckers are there to make sure you don't cover that shit.

We need to *take care* of these guys, a couple of refs go missing and they'll be scared straight.

p.s. And NO I am not fucking putting up pictures of any fat fuck refeeres...alive anyway

Media Microscope fetishing motherfuckers

Why is the media in this microscope fetish?

Ok, so I understand having ~12 hrs of programming mean that there is a lot of shit talkers and shit. BUT FUCKING STOP!!

There is no need to take every subject and break it down with a bunch of idiots who want to be in TV!

STOP....

Cancelled post

We are old farts

Old fucking farts.... babyface go and hit it because after a while you'll be be the old creepy guy going to Spring break shows...

Jackals Den 100th Post UNF The World Extravaganza!

What better place to represent the Jackals' Den 100th post than from the privacy of the porcelain throne. Five to ten years ago I would have had to go sit in front of a computer screen to hammer out a post as important as this one, but thanks to modern technology, here I am and...





wait... wait for it...




*PLOP*



Ooh. Splashed my ass a little. I hate it when that happens. Now I have twice the cleanup.


Where was I?


Anyway -- since all the posters on this blog will probably be far more verbose than I, I'll cut this short by saying, niggaz wanna pop shit, I'll pop clips. Bitch, I'll put my dick on ya lips.


Over and out,

AS

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Four score and seven days ago our jackals brought forth on this den, a new blog, conceived in Jackalism, and dedicated to the proposition that all jackals are created equal and the rest of us are all gay clones.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war among us, testing whether that blog, or any blog so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great 100th post of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that blog, as a final resting place for those who here gave their nuts over to the clones that that den might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this blog. The brave jackals, cradle to the grave, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the blogging, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored jackals we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these jackals shall not have blogged in vain -- that this blog, with all my jackals, shall have a new birth of jackalism -- and that blog of the jackals, by the jackals, for the jackals, shall not perish from the earth.

HHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------








"QUACK WEAk ass shit" was the first thing clones thought this blog was going to produce ..."web trash", "non sense web noise" was expected...



Well guess what BITCHES? Jackals are busting caviar semen on your monitors! We got Flash, we got comic strips, we got movie/album reviews!



We shitting skittles, and skull fucking clones and GAF shit!


Maddox go hang yourself, we got this!


HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLL

Tico (obviously)


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------





God, I hope you stumbled upon this page by accident. Hopefully, you're a religious freak who is convinced that every contributor is an agent of Beezilbub himself. On your way out, do me a solid and take the sandy rake out of your Virginia Baked Ham wallet. 100 mutha fuckin' jackalisms. That calls for celebration. Ol' Dirty Chinese Restaurant wouldn't believe it if you told him. A lot of things have happened in this first week. We had jackal-on-jackal fecal toss, we saw Mancation relived in comic shorts, we pointed out a couple gay clones among us, that would have otherwise gone undetected. Gay clones are like roaches in Northeast DC. The weather is nice, so you throw on some flip-flops and walk the dog. Little do you know, on a hot summer night, they're scurrying across the sidewalk and you look like Fred Astaire shuffling and dancing around them. It's like, dude, all I want to do is walk my dog(be a jackal) and I keep having to watch my step and walk around roaches(look out for gay clones). Jackals are evolving. The Jackals Den is perpetuating their influence, thanks to the internets and wide world of webs. As we commemorate this milestone, let's reflect upon the jackals that paved the way. For there will always be a yard to stomp. Skrimpture won't stop so long as the world is revolving. This aggression will not stand. This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass. Happy Hunny, Jackals Den. Here's to you sproutin' a couple little black curlies.


BMR







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Everyone sing along with me...

GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep, GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep IF YOU'RE TIRED BE QUIET AND GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep

[scarshoulders]

Maaan, I tell the web to go to sleep (go to sleep)

jackals blog is rype and hype, gotta make 'em six feet deep'

Cause we knock 'em unconscious with that non-sense

Read in between that fine print, think about jackal con-tent

Then about where your time spent surfin other websites; a ten HUUUT!

I send babyface and voicemail sheeyit, ninja WHAAAT?

If ya tired ya tired, if ya snooze ya lose

But'chu you won't wrap up ya bandages, or heal you wound

[boogers mcrib]

Ninja I got interns and brodie - I love hydro and Henne' !

All white and skinny, but I've fucked up so many

I got h street on lock - if we beefin' I blast

You sleepin' I laugh, ask tico, I'm off the ripo

I had this anon who talked too much; I had to off the bitch

cartoons, Mr. Crayola; ninjas know what I mean'

Cause I slang brown, white, yellow, purple and green

And all you faggot-muthafuckas gotta know the routine

GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep, GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep IF YOU'RE TIRED BE QUIET AND GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep

[Ball deep]

Bitch it's me again, kickin' in your fuckin' internet

I look for videos - I ain't lookin' for you blog

You bitch can't com-prehend; let me put one in ya bro

Let me put one in ya bro, so you ninjas can go to sleep

So, lay down bitch; gimme all that you dreamed for

Gimme fancy cars, gimme bling-bling-bling, boi

It don't mean a thing, boi, for me that ain't gon' swing, boi

Them god damn toys; do you know what I mean, boi?

[tico]

Now if you warrin' and runnin' from them jackal ninjas

This loco ese gon' give a reason to sleep, ninja

Or bustin' massive nut in yo face

My last trip to dc fucked yo myspace

I'm strippin' bitches and I'm a ballin fucker with a limp

They call me infer-stripper, sexy, red web's pimp

And quick to sick her on the ninja 'cause this what it's 'bout

We rob that trick and stick his dick off in his fuckin' mouth

We costa rican

GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep, GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep IF YOU'RE TIRED BE QUIET AND GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep

[head]

North, north, south, south, chapel hill, blacksburgh

Ninja we make wizard staffs; never drinking bottled beers

manor woods in this bitch; 8 foots, ya know we ball

Hooked up with my ninja scar, then we head to college park

Playas wild, throwin' bows, tellin' bloggers, "Fuck you clone!"

Kyle blogging bout some hoe, needs to put the ice cream down

Mayne this town is like my town, so we stayed and hung around

head be smart as fuck; catch me in the mensa club

[aledente schwanz]

Better use common sense checkin' me out for a philly jackal

And up, get yaself put in shackles

Without brian dawkins, behind me gettin' handcuffed by a slut

Look, I'm from jersey what?

Southjerse ninjas throw it up when it's time to get buck

Ninjas in the back of the club postin' up

Waitin' for a ninja that's raw to jackal it up

As in, ain't no askin'; it's no tolerance as long bitch check in

She wit' me, comments will only get'chu basically eternally resting

So abide by the code of the streets

If ya got a bitch better keep her on a leash

Cuz a schwanz gonna creep in ya home while you gone

Have you comin' back findin' unf on yo' sheets

GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep, GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep IF YOU'RE TIRED BE QUIET AND GO TO SLEEP, web to sleep

Yum yum

Just in case below is a man's behind I posted this...