PLompton "Labor" Day 2008 Recap

So since this blog is like 3 years over due, we have some catching up to do.  Let me bring you all up to speed on last year's Labor Day weekend a.k.a PLompton Day.  Consisted of yep you guessed it general getting awesome, assorted cooked meats, making uncomfortable of neighbors and other invited guests of my wife, and oh yeah competitive events such as beer swimming (see video), car chasing, and joke pounding (this needs some explanation, Scar Shoulders could tell you better, but basically using the same joke over and over and over again well beyond the point of funny, but then becomes funny in a whole new way because you realize that no one thinks it funny but that just fuels it to continue.  BAALLEEEVEE ITT!!)

See some photos of the amazing event below:

Coming back from the amazingly Patriotic fireworks display.  "Take that Iraq!  American Thunder!"

Grilling up a giant sausage, dogs and burgers on the world's shittiest grill.

The Spoils of Labor
Rockin' the Skins shoes
Wait for it...wait for it..... FUCK YO SHIT!!

Preparing for the Olympic swim.

The main event:

See you all next year...

PS this is the official announcement for this summer as there were many Jackals not present, but fear not we represented in your absence.  Mark your calendars.

Getting Awesome 101: Cougar Piss

Now I know what your thinkin'.  It's Sunday night, your wife is watching Desperate Housewives of NJ, we are smack dab in the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, your car payment and mortgage are due, your hair is thinning in certain spots and growing in others it did not before, you just spent the past four hours in the kiddie pool with some other shitheads kid splashing your kid and it takes your whole being not to UNF the little fucker, and you have to go to your soul sucking job tomorrow, because that is the way shit goes.  Well fret not my Jackals and scrimps there is a cure.  A little concoction the Jackals like to call Cougar Piss is here to save your rotting soul from total decomposition.  

You'll need the following:

1 bottle of Miller High Life (other beers may be used, but come on it's the freaking Champagne of Beers.)

1 heavy shot of Root beer Schnapps (preferably 100 proof, usless of course you are a puusssssaayyy)

Rinse and repeat until the pain is gone.

Enjoy

Michael Jordan's (who was a David Thompson gay clone) Gay Clone

I'm not quite sure who Kobe thinks he's fooling but if there is one thing dude isn't it's hardcore. Who juts out their bottom lip? Is he preparing to catch a load under his tongue or something? I've got a Ben Franklin that says this new look is Kobe's Eagle Colorado "Rape Face". What a douche...

Here's to hoping the Magic even things up tonight...

Getting Awesome With Awesome Vodka

When you get awesome the way Jackals get awesome you tend to know people who do awesome things. Evan "Strike List" LastName does awesome things, namely make awesome vodka infusions.

http://citythatbreeds.com/2008/08/the-bacon-vodka-chronicles-pt-1/
http://citythatbreeds.com/2008/08/the-bacon-vodka-chronicles-pt-2/
http://citythatbreeds.com/2008/08/the-bacon-vodka-chronicles-pt-3-omega/

Yesterday I went to his vodka tasting party "The Essence of Evan" at Captain Larrys in BalMore.

$20 all you can drink vodka's and mixers as well as a buffet The meatballs were the fucking bomb). In the interest of full disclosure I was still feeling the effects of how awesome we got Friday night when we (Heather, Beth and I, DC Representing in BMore two saturdays in a row. respect that!) arrived for the 2:30 pm tasting but I fought through it like Butch fighting through pride fucking with him if he chose to do that instead of fucking over Marcellus in a most Jackal way, but I digress...

The menu of vodkas went something like this:
Peanut Butter Vodka
Lemon and Grape Vodka
Bacon Vodka

something I can't think of and didn't taste vodka (edit: i was coffee and caramel and i did have it and it was awesome. like van goghs but not as sweet. if van goghs is a white chocolate mocha this was espresso. damn that was GAF, but i'll just keep it moving to the KIM)
Cucumber and Jasmine Vodka
Pickletini (fuck pickles fuck them in their nasty ears. i even had my pickle hate t shirt on in protest)
Cherry and Lime Vodka
Lemon and Ginger Vodka
Rosemary and Garlic Vodka

I started out as any red blooded MerCan would with the Bacon. Damn did that shit taste like Bacon. I mean really taste like Bacon. Big time. I had it on the rocks for a bit and felt like it really needed some horseradish (note to Evin, make Bacon Horseradish Vodka and sell it to me). Not wanting to be a pain in the ass I settled for adding some Tabasco. It was good when I had one of my awesome ideas. What if I made a screwdriver out of this? I mentioned the idea and was met with 5 or 6 "what the fuck" looks but the bartender was feeling my genius. He topped me of with OJ and The Breakfast of Champions shot was born. It basically tasted like you took a bite of awesome breakfast sandwich and then a sip of your OJ all in one awesome alcoholic beverage.

Next up was the peanut butter vodka. Damn that shit tasted like peanut butter and was awesome. This was hands down the most popular vodka at the tasting. People were mixing it with Baileys, making awesome white russians with it, we dropped it into Guinness and did car bombs, mixing it with the coffee one. It rocked. I even rocked it out with some 100 poof peppermint schnaps and made a Girl Scout Leader.

Moving right along I tore into the Lemon and Ginger and mixed that bad boy with Blue Moon to make a Fancy Poison. If you've had Poison it was exactly the same but with good vodka and better beer.

We also tried the Lemon and Grape with an IPA but it wasn't as good as fancy Poison, way too bitter.

The champion of the stand alone vodkas however was the Rosemary and Garlic. That shit was good. Really fucking good. The other vodkas had stronger flavors but this one was just smooth as all get out and made me want lamb something fierce. Now that I think about it I was a good 6 or 7 vodkas deep when I tasted it so perhaps I should try it again when sober but I am 99% sure, ok make that 79% sure it still would be my favorite. As for the mixed drink that goes with this awesome vodka, Lambtini = ground lamb and Rosemary and Garlic vodka.

So all in all the vodkas were quite awesome and the event was quite fun. As an added bonus I got nice and drunk before 5pm which is always fun. The only negative thing I have to say about the entire thing is that The Wiz and Steven didn't show up with basically makes them GAF.