bhmf's Back In Town!

Aw yeah, another Manic Monday, but bhmf and the Boogerman are getting the band back together.

Daniel Inouye: Jackal of the Day (Year, decade, century)

On April 21, 1945, Inouye was grievously wounded while leading an assault on a heavily-defended ridge near San Terenzo in Tuscany, Italy called Colle Musatello. The ridge served as a strongpoint along the strip of German fortifications known as the Gothic Line, which represented the last and most unyielding line of German defensive works in Italy. As he led his platoon in a flanking maneuver, three German machine guns opened fire from covered positions just 40 yards away, pinning his men to the ground. Inouye stood up to attack and was shot in the stomach; ignoring his wound, he proceeded to attack and destroy the first machine gun nest with hand grenades and fire from his Thompson submachine gun. After being informed of the severity of his wound by his platoon sergeant, he refused treatment and rallied his men for an attack on the second machine gun position, which he also successfully destroyed before collapsing from blood loss.

As his squad distracted the third machine gunner, Inouye crawled toward the final bunker, eventually drawing within 10 yards. As he raised himself up and cocked his arm to throw his last grenade into the fighting position, a German inside the bunker fired a rifle grenade that struck him on the right elbow, severing most of his arm and leaving his own primed grenade reflexively "clenched in a fist that suddenly didn't belong to me anymore".^[10] Inouye's horrified soldiers moved to his aid, but he shouted for them to keep back out of fear his severed fist would involuntarily relax and drop the grenade. As the German inside the bunker reloaded his rifle, Inouye pried the live grenade from his useless right hand and transferred it to his left. As the German aimed his rifle to finish him off, Inouye tossed the grenade off-hand into the bunker and destroyed it. He stumbled to his feet and continued forward, silencing the last German resistance with a one-handed burst from his Thompson before being wounded in the leg and tumbling unconscious to the bottom of the ridge. When he awoke to see the concerned men of his platoon hovering over him, his only comment before being carried away was to gruffly order them to return to their positions, since, as he pointed out, "nobody called off the war!"^[11]

JTFC... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Inouye RIP JACKAL!!!!

A Week in Dewey

This was the second day. That is all.

JOTD: Matt Taibbi

Yo, me and Taibbi both got love for Hunter. He's the writer I will always aspire to be and never will be. He's all over the LIBOR scandal, wall street municipal bond ass monkeys, pretty much anything jackal in print or on news, you can find Taibbi nearby, chopping down clones.

RIP: The Jackalest Jackal That Ever Jackaled...

2008 - 2012

JOTD: BMR

Yeah, at 01:15, Captain Douche Bag runs the red light and causes a wreck. He has a joke MAIF insurance account and if it weren't for the FOIA, this cracker would have been up shits creek without a terd to paddle. A lesson to you little jackal puppies, when you get in a car wreck, call the freaking cops. Otherwise you drive around with a broke ass front fender and a horn that doesn't work for two months before you beg the local gubmint to release video footage of the event you swear to fucking Christ fucking happened, but you need a damn near act of Christ himself to prove it. Safe to say, red Acura 9AD5621 done fucked with the wrong jackal.

JOTD: James Taylor

'An arrest report states that Taylor exposed his genitals and "urinated in the middle of the sand."

He also continued to shout profanities.'




That's a pretty gay name you got, but from one jackal to another, I've joked about drinking 48 beers, I wasn't sure it was humanly possible.  Talk about aiming high...

JOTD: Mark Zuckerberg?

How's that for a curveball? Didn't see ol' Boogers comin' with that shit.

Jackal Coping Mechanisms: Fake Bedtime Stories

I can't really relate to the hardships of parenting, otherwise I'd probably make Adam Mansbach Jackal of the Day. Actually, fuck it, nobody else comes to mind.

"But as any good fiction teacher will tell you, you’ve gotta write what you know. And last summer, Mansbach knew that it was taking for-freaking-ever to get his 2-year-old daughter, Vivien, to go the f@#ck to sleep. He posted an exasperated lament on Facebook, and his friends told him to write a book. So he did."

JOTD: Patrick the Pit Bull

"There are very few animals, or any life form, that could have gone through and survived what he has, and really never looked back."


When Patrick was brought to the hospital after being rescued by officials at the Associated Humane Societies, he was so starved, emaciated and dehydrated he was curled into a ball, unable to walk or stand. His ribcage protruded, he weighed about 20 pounds — roughly 30 pounds less than average — and was covered in sores with parts of skin hanging off him.


Kisha Curtis of Newark was charged with two fourth-degree offenses for "tormenting and torturing" an animal by failing to provide food and water, prosecutor said. The charges could carry a maximum jail sentence of 18 months and a fine of up to $10,000. She also faces two abandonment charges punishable by up to six months in jail with a $1,000 fine.


I'd like to see Kisha Curtis get mauled by a gang of blood-thirsty pit bulls. Maybe have Michael Vick electrocute the shit out of her. 

JOTD: Buck Showalter

"The first time we went to Yankee Stadium, I screamed at Derek Jeter from the dugout," Showalter told the magazine, according to the Bergen Record. "Our guys are thinking, 'Wow, he's screaming at Derek Jeter.' Well, he's always jumping back from balls just off the plate. I know how many calls that team gets -- and yes, he [ticks] me off."

"I'd like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay [Rays] payroll," Showalter told Men's Journal, according to the Record. "You got Carl Crawford 'cause you paid more than anyone else, and that's what makes you smarter? That's why I like whipping their butt. It's great, knowing those guys with the $205 million payroll are saying, 'How the hell are they beating us?' "




Shout out to Ol' Filthy for the link...

JOTD: Fred Mack

This cracka is keeping it jackal. 


"Mack, who doesn’t have any children, out-lived two wives."

JOTD: Rush Holt

Yeah, suck one, Watson! You lil' bitch. Rush Holt is the pimp and you be da ho'. Run and tell that, homeboy. Maybe you need to update your spyware or some shit. NyQuil drinkin' ass skrimp.

JOTD: Dan Durda

Not only did this guy smash his two gigantic granite balls together(holy crap this experiment is so lame), he painted them like two big granite titties before doing so. This poor bastard's been a nerd his whole life. Today, he's a fucking jackal. Okay, when I was googling for a photo of him, he was posed with a jet, so he's probably jackaled it up once or twice. Jackal on, Durda. Jackal on.

JOTD Part 2: Gary Fucking Williams

More wins than John Wooden. Enough said.

JOTD: Barack O-fucking-bama

My main jackal was cracking jokes, talkin' 'bout alternative energy solutions, flat out calling 'No Child Left Behind' some bullshit, calling for the end of big oil tax cuts. The only thing I didn't like about this speech was Barack acknowledging he can't do any awesome shit without the fucking "stick in the mud" politics of Washington. Part of me wishes he was the dictator Fox News claims he is.

JOTD: Boogers McRib

http://hypem.com/#!/item/17jns/Fort+Knox+Five+-+Fifth+of+Cool+J+Edit+

http://hypem.com/#!/item/1676d/Fort+Knox+Five+-+Revolution+DC+s+Finest+Remint+

Ninja knew what he was talking about with Fort Knox Five, that's for sure...

JOTD: Ramajit Raghav

Aww shnap. This dusty old jackal's boys can swim. He snatched up some skins on some sexual healing. This dude found some mud for his turtle. Does anyone else think it's weird that some 'Mericans half this jackal's age need to take drugs to get ready to lay pipe? How about drugs that make you thin, make you sleep, make you poop, make you eat, etc.? Yo, Ramajit, keep fucking that chicken, you wrinkly jackal.

JOTD: Jon Stewart

I remember Jon Stewart addressing this a few times this past fall. Bill O'Reilly, eat your fucking heart out.

JOTD: Crazy Pat and Mikey

These ninjas are retarded. They invite me out to watch football on Sunday and next thing you know we have a $500 bar tab and 2 of the 5 people that came with us are cut off by the bartender. Mikey did the Dougie and not once was music playing in the bar. Never ever have I ever been around two Jackals so capable of dumb shenanigans that weren't Boogers McRib and myself. I didn't even mention that fact they introduced me to this awesome website/service. JTFC. Howl.