Crisis Overload: Call the Eagle Man!

 

Wow, with so much crazy shit going on, a ninja just needs a big ass bird to drop out of the sky and crap an egg on the roof of his car. Holla back, Voicemail!

Jackal to Jackal(self) Callout

I tried to find something other than DMX to illustrate the degree to which I have slipped. From one jackal to at least two others, I am sorry.

LOTD: Bear Puncher

Yo, Alaska, do ya thang! That shit is fuckin' lynx as fuck. bhmf, can you scrounge up a photo of this chick? I want to see if she's hot. She's definitely the Lynx of the Day. I tried to embed this YouTube link, but Blogspot has been fucking up lately. Yeah I said it. Try the moving GIF on for size, not too shabby. Definitely watch every Wicker Man YouTube link, though. Quite possibly the worst movie ever made, but hilarious. 

Funny Shit: Right Wing Radio Duck

Funny Shit: Rednecks on TV

KFTC: FoxNews

Clearly, these were the types of bitches Tom was talkin' bout.

KFTC: India

Y'all need to chill with the 'gagiggity in the shmoygin', if you know what I mean. Bill Burr says it much better. 650 million person increase in 50 years. 17% of the world lives in India. KFTC.

Greetings, Head - Your Friends at Autotune the News

Welcome out from under the rock, dear friend. These puberty-stricken bastards and one hot chick are on to something.









By far, the funniest one right here:

'Merica: Let Freedom Ring

Maybe I should be glad they didn't give this carpet muncher** a "curbie" like in American History X.













**Carpet muncher is not derogatory. Fuck you.

Try This At Home

Shote Sleeves, is that you?

Den Gon' Soff

"After a great big 'Thank You' in squirrel language."

Working Monday Is For Sucks

If Monday's got you down, take a moment to laugh your ass off. As outrageous as this scene is, the idea behind it is genius. Here's hoping I'm a dick.

Whoa whoa whoa: Worse Than Lung Cancer

My original point, misconstrued by the real live BD2, was that these poor peeps didn't light one match for one cigarette. They were simply plopped out of a vagina into hell. Bad luck. Geography. Whatever you want to call it. Shit we're fortunate enough not to deal with every day. I will try to be more thorough in future posts.

JOTD: Landon Donovan

WTF? Extraterrestrials

Are you fucking kidding me?

Cool Cat

GCOTD: Chris Chike

JOTD: Harvey Keitel

Toby? Toby. Toby Wong? Fucking Charlie Chan.

Lynx of the Day: Miss Oklahoma

Oh, what a baited firestorm of a question posed by none other than Oscar Nunez(sorry I have no squiggle to put over your 'n', Oscar, it's not a racial thing). This chick had an opinion and didn't waiver when people started booing and whatnot. I didn't post to start an immigration discussion, I just want to call jackaldom when I see it. KFTC, whoever wrote that stupid fucking question for a beauty pageant. This post would have a lot more credibility if the chick didn't look like a smoothed out Joan Rivers.