Sneak Peek: Plompton Records HQ Opens Its Bosom to the Den

JOTD: Gore Vidal

This guy doesn't hold back a goddamn thing. That's why he's the Jackal of the Day. Ignore the stupid Brit/America sucks/"read my article" headline and read the dude's article. As I was looking for a picture of him, though, it turns out he always had a "beloved" cat. There's absolutely nothing jackal about that, but maybe he needs a little oil in his jackal vinegar if you know what I'm saying. If you have no clue what I'm saying, it's cool. Sticky Rice got "fatheaded" last night with my karaoke performance. I said "like a man" about 8 or 9 times and man was pronounced "may-awn", i.e. South Park, DVDA, Team America, etc.

fatheaded - "fat^hed-did" - past tense, verb: to be posterized as a life-size wall decoration, made an example
"Wow, Ray Lewis fatheaded the shit out of Darren Sproles in Week 2."

P.S. Have you EVER heard a more redneck story?

WTF????? Happy Birthday Jackal

x44jackal44x is apparently some shit head little kid that plays video games and sucks at guitar, but they say "happy birthday jackal" in this clip so that is sort of jackal, right? Maybe not, but Boogers McRib...you, my brother are jackal as a moafucka. Keep holdin' shit down on planet errff, son! Cradle to the grave, you my Jackal! Please baalleevvee me!




PS x44jackal44x do not sleep or we will kick you in your baby nuts. Baleeve it.

Congratulations! Your NFL team won a game! But your state is disintegrating...

So there's a proverbial monkey off of the collective backs of Michiganites everywhere, but you might want to remedy this situation. I can already see it, Detroit will be like the O.K. Corral when you take a road trip out west. You'll have to sell your baby to get a tank of gas. As depressing as it was to watch the 'Skins totally shit their bed, I was saddened much more by watching pathetic Lions fans celebrate their first victory since the 2007 calendar year. Their joy sobered the five beers I had drank(Dominion Hop Mountain Pale Ale, quite good, but in no way a "light" beer) right out of me. Football is fun to watch. When your team wins, it's really fun and it makes it easier to go to work and endure "the suck". Will somebody, other than the Lions, give Michigan a reason to not be totally fucking depressed? I'm not sure what I would do if I lived there, but it would inevitably lead to drugs, violence and more violence. I would constantly walk down the street with my jackals and ask, "Are you staring at him?" or I'd say "Don't even look at him!" in the hope of getting beaten to death and put out of my Detroitian misery. On a side note, 'Skins fans, please tell me there is a clause in Haynesworth's contract that says, "if this fat ass blows a tire, we don't have to pay him 100 million clams"

Quote of the Day

"Motherfucker hit my penis!"



P.S. Go Hokies! I really can't get enough of Jason Worilds absolutely abusing that Miami offensive lineman at 3:13...
P.P.S. Ball Deep, a recommendation: Start watching college football.

Gay Clone of the Century: Dan fucking Snyder

Seriously fuck this guy.  Fuck 'em.  You are the reason that my team sucks.  In the words of Shitseppi Jones "Ya fucking prick."  Losing to the fucking Detroit Lions?  Really??  Do you realize what havoc you have unleashed on my beloved Redskins since you got here?  Now we are going to fire everyone and get a whole bunch of other shitheads that don't know what the fuck is going and the whole thing will start over again.  Because you and you fuckbuddy Vinnie Cerrato are two busy blowing each other and Tom Cruise that you don't know shit about making a good football team and you will continue to make the same mistakes.  

I fucking hate you Dan Synder.  I hope you get the gout. GO the FUCK ASLEEP!  Please for the sake of everything good and right...go work for Dallas.  They like assholes there.  Or work for NY, douchebaggery runs rampant there.  Get the fuck out of DC.  Let some other city feel your wrath.  You have unleashed enough poison in DC.  

If I see you in person I will light your ass up with more UNF than the press is going to give Jim Zorn and Campbell combined over the entire rest of the season. That is if you don't fire him and get Eric Mangini as the new head coach and get Michael Vick as the new QB (don't act like you didnt think about it....bitch).  It wouldn't surprise me because the only certainty about you is that you will always make the wrong choice.  Fuck you very, very much.

PS GO Skins!  I hope we find a way to turn this shit around because it doesn't look good and because this was supposed to be the "easy" part of the season.  I am not mad at the team.  It is not their fault.  It is the dumbass front office that put them there that is the real problem.  It is too early to throw in the towel, any real jackal can admit when he is beat, but we ain't there...yet.

Jackal vs GAF: Jackal wins every time

JACKAL


GAF



PS I am pretty sure the dude from Creed is wearing mascara, leather pants and feeling his Moobs at 27 seconds


PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS Skins better beat the fucking Lions.

JOTD- Craphonso Thorpe- The Man, The Legend

I stumbled upon this oddity while looking at the UFL's website. This guy is currently a reciever for the New York Sentinels, and I will be watching this team in the hopes that this guy makes a play, so I can hear the announcers try to say his name.

What exactly were his parents thinking? Blending shit with a weird mexicanish/italian name? All I know is it makes me laff, and also be on the lookout for Shitseppi Jones out of the Las Vegas Locos!

Edit- I actually just looked, and there is an Adrian Awasom on the LVL's. WTF? I guess they really cant afford people with real names.

Colonial Parking Can Suck It

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JOTD: Biagio Sciscione

While the eyewitness account, Biagio's wife, is a bit suspect, I can only hope I'm not guzzling bitch juice at the ripe count of 88 years. It takes significant amounts of sac to claim your with a religious group to distract a nice old man who was willing to die for the country you stink up with your laziness and reluctance to find respectable employment, while your shithead buddies make off with his safe full o' jewels. It gives me great hope to know this jackal was reppin' Dirty Jerz and my blood jackal, BD, stands a chance at takin' jackaldom to tha' grave, if he does, in fact, have to live there his entire life. Biagio, you my ninja.

FUCK YEAH

What's that?  The Jackals Den is now the first thing to appear in google search of "jackals den" and that scrimp ass other Jackals den blog is nowhere to be found?

We cannot be faded...

Thank God for Changing Times

So this used to be the hottest chick. If Herbert Hoover had a blog, this bitch would have been a Friday hottie at one point or another. Baby girl has some shrubbery in her pits! I'm gonna throw that out there. I am sure Head hooked up with a hairy-pitted chick at some point. Dude loves hippies. Not that I don't, but there is a line in the sand and cross this line you do not. Still, to be rolling pre-plastic surgery era, those are a couple of 'sweater cows' worth writing home about. You feel me, Tico? You see, Tico is a breast connoiseur of sorts.

Now a jackal shouldn't forget where all these hotties came from. You have to appreciate the classic beauties to appreciate how spoiled our asses have gotten.
giggity

Head and KOTJ may be onto something

I just ate chicken for dinner tonight, turkey for lunch earlier today and hamburgers yesterday and it got me thinking.  What exactly am I eating?  I think I will have a bagel for breakfast and a Peanut Butter and Jelly tomorrow or maybe for the next few days....until I can get my head around seeing these clips.  Just to warn you these clips are really fucked up (especially the beef/pigs one).  Not for the faint at heart.

Check it out:

Chicken

Beef/pigs

Hot Dogs

Blintzes and tofu are nasty, but you have to admit this shit is totally fucked up.  Consider a jackal confused.    

JOTW: Scar Shoulders

You ever see the Den in 42 inches of glorious HD? There's a reason fools call ScarShoulders the Osiris of this shit. Large and in charge son. It's how it's done.

The 4 letter thought they were gonna keep me from slitting my wrists after watching the Terps game Saturday by pushing the game to their ESPN360 channel, which isn't really a channel at all, it's the fucking interweb. In the words of pre stroke Lee Corso, NOT SO FAST SWEETHEART! 30 bucks at Best Buy later your boy was cursing James Franklin live and direct as the good lord Anubis intended.

Fast forward 4 hours and SS is picking up the slack for Pontius, who pissed in the post toasties by forgetting to get beer for the Redskins tailgate, carrying beer back from Giant with VoiceMail. Jackals help Jackals even if they aren't down for the tailgate.

Awesome was gotten.

Fast forward another 12 hours and you find SS on the V St court running ball with David Axelrod and Gene Sperling. Who knew this old ass Obama Bama who shoots the ball spinning sideways like a chest pass would go 19 of 30 from beyond the arc? Mad respect...

Next thing you know it's Sunday night and your boy is holding it down dog sitting Murray of the Jungle for KOTJ so him and his lioness can enjoy a night at the beach for their birthdays.

Then the Giants beat down the Cowboys.

The life of SS is a mysterious siren indeed, but that MoFo always keeps it JAF, Jackal as Fuck.

Baleeve it.


Shit, did Scar Shoulders just post giving himself props? Can you even do that?

That's Scar Shoulders fool! He can do whatever he wants! Respect thy gangsta!!

Backspacer is good shit

This guy (or) girl obviously loves Pearl Jam more than is considered normal so take what he says with a grain of salt. But, in principal, I agree with what he/she is saying and I am too lazy to analyze the album as much as they did so read it if you are interested (I skimmed and quickly realized they probably have a poster of Eddie Vedder on their dorm room wall). I must say if he thinks Eddie Vedder is writing lyrics to his fans he must be on some good shit.

Nonetheless, Pearl Jam's new album, Backspacer is damn good even if it is short as hell. (36 mins) I think they did that on purpose instead of filling it up with useless tracks to get a "full LP"....see self titled Pearl Jam or Vitalogy as testament to the absurdness of this approach. So each track is good as hell. Thanks to Brendan O'Brien who also produced, Yield among others (Nuggets and I will agree it is probably their best album)) the shit is just right.

So if you have 12 bucks (at Target, not sure if you can get it anywhere else), and you enjoy good music that doesn't blow goats, then a Jackal highly recommends it.

JOTD: Steve McQueen (again) OG JACKAL

I am not gay, but I am a huge Steve McQueen fan.  This dude is the fucking man.  Don't believe me?  Here are just a few examples why Steve McQueen would embarrass the GAF Brad Pitts and Matt Damons of the world.  Dude did his own stunts while these scrimps were little eggs hangin on fallopian tubes of they moms and shit.  Not to mention he did it without the "help" of CGI, Michael Bay, Jerry Bruckheimer, stunt doubles, trick camera angles, etc.  

He actually did this crazy ass shit.  And he did it like a jackal should, with no bullshit and fussing about.  Fucking Jackal to the core.  


He owned and actually drove Ferraris, Porsches, etc.  So what, right?  OK here's more

He banged hot chicks, drank and smoked to excess.  Still not impressed?  OK here what he did when he was at "work"

Exhibit A (I admit I got a little bit of a chubby at min 4:05.  I need that car)

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

enough said...

Ball DEEP Attempts a BMR stream of conscienceness post

When did the photos next to the name's start? I like it. Glad I uploaded SOP album cover when I created my profile.

Let me just give you a list of bands:

Sting

Metallica (w Jason Newsted)

Offspring

Green Day

Yes

And yet another list:

Pearl Jam

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Metallica (w Cliff Burton)

Primus

311

Bob Marley and the Wailers

Thin Lizzy

Do you know the difference?

The first list of bands are GAF. AND the bassists in said bands play bass with a pick.

The second list of bands are JAF. These band's bassists do not use picks because they are not gay as fuck and are not afraid of a few blisters. And they are not wannabe guitarists that were to lazy to learn the other 2 strings.

...coincidence? I think not.

(This holds true for all except two Masters of bass which do both pick and non-pick play: Roger Waters and Paul McCartney, but they are exempt because they could play with their members and still be JAF.)

Megan Fox is hot and so is Taylor Hicks and a few other of those Hollywood chicks but they are really annoying.

I love the Redskins. I really hope they beat Coach Spags and the shitty ass Rams at home. I wish I could be there with Pontius and Nuggets a.k.a. voicemail to see it in person.

I think that I was wrong about the Health care debate. I am with Head now. Let's go ahead and get that sorted out OK gov't? That would be ggreeeeaaaatt. Mkay?

I have wheels for sale on craigslist.

I am not sure who to root for this weekend because I starting to hate the Giants equal to the Cowboys....but I still hate the Cowboys more. I think I just answered that. Maybe I'll just root for (H)Romo and (BOY)Manning to get carried out in stretchers hand in hand.

I am going to start eating better and not drinking as much beer. Well probably not but it is the thought that counts right?

ITS FUCKING FRIDAY!

Cheese

Sangria

Cardboard

"Vanilla Ice Platinum? That shit's ridiclous " - Phife Dog

I wonder what Ralph Machio is up to these days? And Mr Miyagi for that matter...

Mancation 2010, let's get serious. When, Where, who???

I love Oskar Blues beer. Except the scottish ale crap. Shit sucks.

Ball DEEP OUT!

GCOTD: Gilbert Arenas

The NBA is the Gay Clone of the Decade, but fuck this guy.

Per ScarShoulders' Request

Ol' Boogers was doing his buddy Shoulders a solid, getting all of the Jackal Comics synchronized with a 'label'. That label is, jackal comics.

Jackal Precaution: Chinese Wal Mart Employees Don't Fuck Around

Baleeve it. You try and take a big ass bag of fortune cookie, you're gonna get medieval repercussions. These WallyMartz employees in China are fuckin' dedicated as a mallfucker. Not sure if I'd care about my job so much as to do this. Jackals be advised...

Tags Galore: We are the fucking Greatest

Speaking of Tags...Has anyone scrolled down to read the Tags of Glory recently? They are much funnier when you read them as a (really, really ridiculously long) list.

This made me again realize that the Den surely is the shit. Well played sirs. If you haven't in a while go back and look at some of the posts that got us here. Fucking inspirational. I think I may UNF some fools at lunch because I am so infused with Jackal goodness...

Greatest/Worst Invention Ever Created

www.pandora.com

Fuck man. Shit is too easy. And way too addictive. And they got a button to buy shit on there? Who knew that Bishop Lamont and Black Milk made a collab that is sick as fuck called Caltroit? Not me, but I do now and I need to buy it.

Who knew People Under the Stairs and Psyche Origami were a mix between Dr Dre and a Tribe Called Quest? I didn't but I sure am about to buy those CD's too.

Your boy Shoulders just picked up a $30 a week buy obscure CD habit... Fuck my wallet.

401: WTF Vol. 1

JOTD: O.J. Brigance Doing the Brigance Dance « Baltimore Ravens Blogs

Doing the Brigance Dance « Baltimore Ravens Blogs

Posted using ShareThis


Hard to believe 9 years ago this guy was ripping ScarShoulders' team a new one and now he can hardly speak or control his movement.


P.S. 400 posts. Baleeve ma.

R.I.P. Jackal - Dalton

I have seen this movie countless times and it still makes me tear up from the sheer dorkiness and the incredible amount of one-liners that ensue throughout the entire film.

R.I.P. Dalton. You will be missed.



"Take out the trash, Cooler!"



You gotta love that the blind dude keeps playin' the blues while they are throwin' down in this scene.

Cowboy karate: Round house in a road house...it doesn't get much more jackal than that.

Ghetto Ass Names I HATE Brought To My Attention By The NFL

Let me take this opportunity to thank ScarShoulders for taking time out of his busy schedule to weigh in and post three consecutive times. We get it, you're back. Congratulations.
I"m sure this post could be construed as racist, but the following names are as bothersome to me as traffic on 495/DC Beltway, being asked for free tickets to Merriweather or responding to "knock knock" texts from FetusFace:
Knowshon Moreno
Tramon Williams
Cadillac Williams
Craphonso Thorpe
Marcedes Lewis
D'brickashaw Ferguson
Deshawn Jackson
Deshawn Stevenson
Santonio Holmes
I am exhausted trying to come up with these, so I'll take it you get my point. I'm thinking there's a Craphonso or Tramon on this bus, but who can be sure?
On a far more frustrating note, it was brought to my attention that Chris Martin(lead singer of Coldplay) and Gwyneth Paltrow named their daughter, Apple. And I heard Nicole Richie named her son Sparrow Midnight, which I would call deplorable, but I think that's understating the situation's severity.

That was easy...

Wire to wire domination.

I look forward to my Jameson the next time I see you Mr Ball Deep.

You mess with the bull you get the horns my friend.

Baleeve it.

KOTJ Birthday Recap

Knock knock.

Who's there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

I thought you said you'd never forget...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Little boy blue.

Little Boy Blue who?

Michael Jackson!

Wizards was played. Awesome was gotten. Jameson was drank. and then . . . .

King of the Jungle went . . .

Per RTBs Request

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-Rj-Q8d7fE

GO SKINS!!!!!!!!

GO SKINS!!!!!!!!

DJ Shadow = JACKAL AS A MOAFUCKA

Every jackal should make it a point to witness this DVD.  If you think because a DJ doesn't play an instrument that means they are not musically talented you are GAF...

Never Forget... For Real

9-11-01 is a day that will live along 12-7-1941, as a day of infamy and terror on American soil. We lost more than 3000 Americans because of these "humans".

I think that we should all be vigilant with our values and rights as Americans, and not forget the lives of so many who came before us and died, to preserve those rights and Freedoms that define the United States of America and its people.

In closing, I will be visiting NYC around Nov. 14, and any local peeps up there, I invite to join me in doing this at Ground Zero.

Ball DEEP Can Taste Victory Already

Shouldaz, your absence in the Den only indicates one thing. You are skerrred. "If you skerrrred say you skeerrreed!" You know your bitch ass VAG-iants are going down in their home opener at the hands of my Rayad-skins (how black people from DC say it). All the talking heads are skeerreed too. They are all picking the Giants, but we all know it will be me drinking Jameson after this upset victory. Better run to the liquor store on your way home tonight and buy a case of Jameson, because this may be the first but it will not be the last bottle you owe me this season.

24-21 Skins Win.

Pllleeeeaasssseeee baaalllleeeeeeeeevvvveveee meeeeah!

BALLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVEEE IT!!

Ewwww! Really?!?

I definitely joked about this possibility with friends and colleagues, but come on. Semenya, throw us a bone! Get it? Way to stick with it. Those "other" chicks would be nuts to race you. It sucks your last name is Semenya, because when I saw you run, I could have sworn you were a johnson. Well, now that you have some time off, do some travelling. Maybe drop into Germany for Oktoberfest and swing by a sausage fest while you're at it. Who knows? Do a comedy routine with Andy Dick. All I know is you are one fast mutha..., brotha? You sure are fast.

Hilarious Unnoticed Political Scandal of Yesterday

Married Republican California Assemblyman Mike Duvall was caught by a microphone bragging about sex with two different lobbyists. Excerpts:

She wears little eye-patch underwear, so I can see her eye patches. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday, a lot. And so she'll she's all, I am going up and down the stairs and you're dripping out of me. So messy.

So I am getting into spanking her… Yeah, I like it… I like spanking her. She goes, I know you like spanking me, I said yeah, that's 'cause you're such a bad girl.

I love this quote by a local staffer:

Their relationship is the worst-kept secret in Sacramento. He's old and fat. She's hot, blonde and about 20
 years younger. He could have never gotten a woman like that before he got
 this job.

Ah, the life of a politician. And to make matters worse, he then resigns, but says:

I want to make it clear that my decision to resign is in no way an admission that I had an affair or affairs. My offense was engaging in inappropriate story-telling and I regret my language and choice of words. The resulting media coverage was proving to be an unneeded distraction to my colleagues and I resigned in the hope that my decision would allow them to return to the business of the state.

Seriously - that's his excuse. "I am not an adulterer! I am a liar! (But I'm not lying now!)"

Hilarious. Good luck with the crappy-ass life you have left fatty Duvall...

Shouldaz, Where You At?

We've got a jackal that's gone MIA. We're gonna drop some jackals behind enemy lines and shit, see if we can't dial this ninja up. It's a big weekend. Maybe he's kicking it in a lair of sorts, plotting, judging, maybe he took Rusty up on his pepper offer and didn't live to tell the tale. Shoulders, will you howl at the Den? When you have the time. Eli is a bitch. In case you need some incentive.

GCOTD: Drew Stevyns (a.k.a. Andrew Petrowski)

Nuggets, Boogers, Droppa Duece and a few others went to middle school , back in the Clarksville days, with this douche. He played a song just like this at Nuggets's 8th grade B-day party. It got all the girls panties in a bunch. A move which quickly cost him dearly in gaining any friends because there was really only 1 chick worth looking at out of the 8 (yes only 8) girls in our class.

DOUCHE!!

For those of you that don't know what the hell I am talking about, you probably won't care, but I thought it only fair to post here for comments.

You really should watch this one, not only did I tear up from lameness of "Drew Stevyns" (sounds like a porn name), but it is quite funny to watch Don't Hassle the Hoff talk not drunk, with a shirt on, and without a burger hanging from his mouth (a.k.a. getting awesome) knowing that millions have seen him in that state.

JOTD:

I don't know how much more awesome you can get, this guy started drinking at nine in the morning, pretended to drown repeatedly, verbally UNF'd and then threw jellyfish at people. Take notes, boys. Jackaldom is alive and well in the Sunshine State. Who's got $250? Let's go bail this guy out and get wasted!

Boogerdamus: Steelers Miss the Playoffs

I was extremely shocked when ESPN opened wide and unanimously crowned the Pittsburgh Steelers 2010 Super Bowl Champions without playing a snap. They're in for a shit storm I tell you. My birds lost fair and square three times, I'm not on here to take away from last year. I'm just going on the record, right now. Steelers miss the playoffs. Book it. Kerry Collins is scared like a mother fucker when it comes to the Baltimore Ravens, but I am guaranteeing, yes, jackal on record, guaranteeing a Tennessee victory in Shittsburgh tomorrow. Book it, Danno. Call your bookie. Open the book and read them pages. 10-6, I got a little carried away with the whole 9-7 thing, but no playoffs. Boogerdamus has spoken.

WTF?????

All I heard through the Address to Congress was the following:

"FIRST!....blah...blah...blah...town hall....SECOND!...Ted Kennedy...blah...blah...blah...$900 Billion...blah...blah...blah...won't cost taxpayers any money...blah...blah...blah...social justice...blah...blah...blah...I STILL BALLEEVVE WE CAN DO GREAT THINGS!...THAT IS OUR CHARACTER!"

What the fuck are you serious??  How the fuck are you going to pay for it?  Just print some more Benjamin's?  Cash for Clunkers wasn't supposed to cost the taxpayers money either. 

Uncle Sam is a delusional old man

Oops, never saw that coming.

And what is with the MLK impersonation?  "I STILL BALLEEVVEE"  and shit.  What the fuck is that?  I love you Obama, but this shit is getting out of hand.  I don't think we are going to get this fixed anytime soon based on the reaction of the 'Publican 'Mericans.  "I'm not clapping for you..na na na...nana....naaaa"  

Pick a battle.  The War, Healthcare, the environment, the economy, foreign affairs.  Fix one, THEN move onto the next thing.  Dude is trying to do everything at once.  That is what chicks do.  We are not chicks Obama.  We are jackals...THAT IS OUR CHARACTER!

PS  Psst!  President Obama, we are still in a recession. 

GCOTD: Nancy Pelosi

Count Nancy Pelosi's blinks during this address. I want to punch her about the face each time those wretched lashes crash into one another.

Close Call: Almost Gave a Shit About Womens' Tennis

This chick is really busted. Why couldn't she be hot?

Jackal Proposition: Sarah Palin/Ann Coulter make-out session

I wanted to take a post to propose that this chick and this chick get it on. I hate them both so much, I just want to watch them make out. Thoughts?

If you have some time today and aren't boiling with frustration over the "healthcare debate" a.k.a. tires spinning in mud that is the American political system, check out what the near vice president has to say about beaureacratizing our current system and how it won't be good for the American economy.

Jack Del Rio, Catchy name, snazzy threads.

As an obligatory post, for the gear up to the best weekend of the year, a tribute to a man with style.














But a middling to mediocre team.

The Naga (Bhut) Jolokia Pepper

I have eaten a pussy size piece of a habanero pepper- and it instantly made me break out with the flop sweats and my tongue went numb instantly. The habanero avgs 200,000-300,000 Scoville units. This bitch puts that to shame, with a new, 2007 Guinness World record for hottest chili pepper. It avgs around 1,000,000 Scoville units of capscaisin. By comparison - Tobasco sauce is around 2500-5000 Scoville units.

What the fuck did I do? I cant get this fucking hyperlink off here.

Anyways, I have acquired 3 of these, they are currently in cold storage in my fridge. I get freaked out, and just a little bit excited, looking at them. Anybody want to get drunk with me, and throw one in a pot of chili?



I am terrified of having these in the house, and don't know what to do with them. Should I just jackal up and house 1, or feed some to unsuspecting people at parties later? Maybe both. I will follow up if I grow some baby nuts and deal with these.

GCOTD: Any Pittsburgh Steeler, but How About This One in Particular?

Troy is about the gayest fuckin' name I've ever heard. This commercial had better pay well. If cutting your hair is against your religion, you might be GAF.

Jackal Update: ACC Sucks at Football

Football in the ACC is boring. I went to a tiny private college that could never hope to put a football team on the field and there's something to be said about blind faith in your school. I love ACC Basketball. It's the shit. Don't get me wrong. Greivis, you're my fuckin' boy, I hope I spelled your name right. But, Kenny Tate, can you show us something against a school whose logo is this gay?

 

Scar Shoulders Presents: Know Your Terps, Kenny Tate Edition

You see that ice cold stare? The focus? Meet red shirt sophmore coverted wide receiver 6 foot 4 two hundred and fifty pounds strong safety Kenny Tate.

This guy will be all over the field tonight. My prediction is a sack and an INT, and if we're lucky... he'll make Javid Best spill his lunch all over the field... again.

Go Terps!

"Yeah, you make good comments...but they typically give those jobs to, you know, ex-ballplayers and...professional broadcasters"

This is funny as hell:

"tanya snyder's vajayjay is fourteen degrees celsius "

as are many of the other one's you have added as labels. Keep 'em comin' Boog.

Dan Snyder Go Asleep: Response

Boog, I can't argue there. Dan Snyder...eat a fatty. He has singlehandedly screwed up one of the most storied franchises in the league. Still got love for my Redskins though. Maybe he will die and a new owner will come along and suck a percentage less than he. One can only hope.

Let's get back to the good 'ol days. Clinton Portis, shut up and beat Riggins record, Hayneworth, break Eli Manning in two, Zorn, Hip hip..Super Bowl, come on were ready. 18 years is long enough to wait. Get your shit together and win. Split the division rival games, beat AFC West, Beat NFC South 10-6 playoffs... Balleeeevvvee it.
As far as the ticket holders, I dont feel bad for them at all. Season tickets are damn expensive and a luxury. I had them for one year and it was tough. Payment plans to help you stay a season ticket holder is the most absurd thing I have ever heard. Get the fuck out if you can't pay. Maybe if there werent so many assholes drawing down their home equity and credit cards to get season tickets, prices would go down and availability would go up. A brotha would like to watch the game without needing binocks and shit.

This is the same reason our houses are worth a third of what they used to be and you can barely afford to get a new pair of sneaks. This mostly credit driven society is on the way out. Try and get a loan, I dare you. Unless you have the money already, you ain't getting it. Unless you pay through the nose through paying high as hell interest and have really good credit. Just pay straight cash for shit. Or take smart loans when you NEED them. If you don't have money, you can't drive a BMW and have a Blackberry. Jackals gotta keep that shit on lock because it is too easy to fall into that trap. I am speaking from experience. I have been living champangne lifestyle on a lite beer budget for a minute. No mas.

Not to mention that the NFL has been getting fat off us for our whole lives. They should have to deal with the pains of recession too. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to nfl.com and purchase some team licensed apparel at astronomical prices and then go read about my team on yahoo.com and see an ad for Coors light. Then I'll go buy some Coors light after work to forget about all of this negative shit. (this is exactly what is going to happen.)