Hilarious Unnoticed Political Scandal of Yesterday

Married Republican California Assemblyman Mike Duvall was caught by a microphone bragging about sex with two different lobbyists. Excerpts:

She wears little eye-patch underwear, so I can see her eye patches. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday, a lot. And so she'll she's all, I am going up and down the stairs and you're dripping out of me. So messy.

So I am getting into spanking her… Yeah, I like it… I like spanking her. She goes, I know you like spanking me, I said yeah, that's 'cause you're such a bad girl.

I love this quote by a local staffer:

Their relationship is the worst-kept secret in Sacramento. He's old and fat. She's hot, blonde and about 20
 years younger. He could have never gotten a woman like that before he got
 this job.

Ah, the life of a politician. And to make matters worse, he then resigns, but says:

I want to make it clear that my decision to resign is in no way an admission that I had an affair or affairs. My offense was engaging in inappropriate story-telling and I regret my language and choice of words. The resulting media coverage was proving to be an unneeded distraction to my colleagues and I resigned in the hope that my decision would allow them to return to the business of the state.

Seriously - that's his excuse. "I am not an adulterer! I am a liar! (But I'm not lying now!)"

Hilarious. Good luck with the crappy-ass life you have left fatty Duvall...