Drunk Ass Jackals Be Funny As Fuck

I got a new phone. It does awesome stuff. We drank Razzouk, it made us awesome. And Boogers McRib really wants to fight some dude named Mr Cheen. Odd developments indeed.

Bitches Be Stupid

My married jackals, how did you know you wouldn't go totally insane listening to your wife talk to her friends, on occasion, but nevertheless for the rest of your life? When I hear fake ass bitches bullshit each other until they're blue in the face, it makes me want to post on Straight Outta Plompton: The Blog. Seriously, this is what I hear from the cube next door, while the drinkable yogurt I had for breakfast continues to make me fart:

"Oh my god, [attractive girl], you'll never believe what happened last night," says unattractive girl.

"Oh my god, what?" asks attractive girl.

"Kill me," BMR mutters to himself.

"I totally had to walk to the Metro(4 blocks, if that) and it was sooo cold," explained unattractive girl.

"You know what, [unattractive girl] I got flowers(AGAIN! and you didn't, but I'll just imply that instead of saying it out loud)," attractive girl said.

"Wow, [attractive girl], you are so lucky(you fucking bitch! I don't give a fuck about your flowers)"

I'm BACK BITCHES!

HHHHOOOOWWWWWWLLLLL!!!!!!

PS the guy in the picture sucks..

Jackal Precaution: Drinkable Yogurt/Coffee

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Fuck this shit: Legion,

I'd like to introduce a new segment called "Fuck this shit".  Basically exactly the same sentiments expressed in the GCOTD except it relates to a place or thing versus a person.  

Today's installment is about the latest shit nugget from Hollywood's anus, the new movie "Legion".  Don't waste your time watching the youtube clip chances are unfortunately you have seen it before in some other shitty form.  CGI, unscary kids, religious overtones, armageddon theme, shitty acting, Dennis Quaid, Tyrese, explosions, etc. etc. It is all bullshit. Please join in the movement of refusing to watch this refuse and hopefully it will go away or at least be made in another language so that Americans will be unable to watch it because they will have to read.



Think I am exaggerating?

Here are just a few more examples of how fucking shitty movies are these days.

I blame all this shit on video gamers...ya bastards. "Dude District 9 on Xbox is gonna be sick bro!"

Sweet mother of Anubis

What feature did I just discover????
SS

GCOTD: Patrick Chan

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I found it! Fuck you, Patrick Chan! Now the Den will know how hilarious your claims are. Whose idea was it to put the story of your mom not letting you play hockey in the commercial? I might tune in to the mens' figure skating final just to watch you lose and cry about it like your Gay Clone Idol. Canada, get ready to get put the fuck asleep. What do you guys normally take home, like three gold medals? Keep fuckin' that chicken.

Jackal Trap: Longwood University

What in the sam hill is going on around here? Can someone tell a jackal why this game is scheduled the third week of the year? One thing I'll say about the Lancers is a 90% job placement rate is damn good and the dude to chick ratio is 31% to 69%(yes, it's 69% percent female, cue "cha-ching" sound effect and "hey now" from Howard Stern) I'm just wondering why the Jackals of Terps Basketball have to play these fools now, when we should have our eyes on the ACC prize. Anyone? Head, you're good at typing a lot of things and forcing my intellect to surrender. Do you want to talk me out of asking this question?

The Economics of Drinking

This is awesome (semi-literally in the parlance of Jackalese):

It is argued that drug consumption, most commonly alcohol drinking, can be a technology to give up some control over one’s actions and words. It can be employed by trustworthy players to reveal their type. Similarly alcohol can function as a “social lubricant” and faciliate type revelation in conversations. It is shown that both separating and pooling equilibria can exist; as opposed to the classic results in the literature, a pooling equilibrium is still informative. Drugs which allow a gradual loss of control by appropriate doses and for which moderate consumption is not addictive are particularly suitable because the consumption can be easily observed and reciprocated and is unlikely to occur out of the social context. There is a trade-off between the efficiency gains due to the signaling effect and the loss of productivity associated with intoxication. Long run evolutionary equilibria of the type distribution are considered. If coordination on an exclusive technology is efficient, social norms or laws can raise efficiency by legalizing only one drug.

So per my relatively limited understanding, it's (1) good for society that alcohol makes people more honest so they know who they're dealing with but (2) not so productive when everyone's drunk. And (1) often outweighs (2).

Would any Jackals out there with training in economics care to extend this to The Economics of Jackaldom?

JOTD: Pete Seeger

This dude was JAF. His music and political views got ol' Pete in a heap of trouble. What did he do? Change his mind? Shut the fuck up? No, he said fuck the establishment and was blacklisted as a Communist. His music served to "white-ify" the civil rights movement. He could have easily walked the other way, sang different songs, but he didn't and that's why he's the Jackal of the Day.  Martin Luther King Jr. was also quite jackal, but I didn't want to change my blogging alias to Captain Fuckin' Obvious.