NYE: Break Yo' Self, Jackals Don't Sleep

Working is Un'Merican

With new management comes new bullshit. This job used to rule, but a ominous cloud of actual work has found its way in Ball DEEP's horizon. more deadlines, more responsibility, more politics, more bullshit to swallow, no raise, no promotion....fuck you very much.

That'll Teach you to Run!!!

How did I go 30 years on this planet without realizing how awesome hockey is? Granted these are some B league eastbumblefuck teams but check out the announcer in this video.



The back story makes it much more hilarious, but I love how fired up the announcer gets. I will be keeping an eye out for a new video from tonight's game on yahoo's puck daddy tomorrow. I keep a jackal posted if there is more gold to be viewed.

Do not fuck with Ken Carroll....In the meantime, Go Caps.

Jackals OTA

Skiing Wednesday night. Heads the leader. Those without spleens are welcome unless they're puuuuuussssssssssssssssssssyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyysssssssssssssssssssss.........

Merry Christmas Jackals

The NFC East Blows

I have no visual aides for this post because i got real awesome last night and am too tired to look for pictures. Simply put the redskins got shit on in the freezing cold by the giants. I was awesome but no amount of beer in this world could have made watching an entire team get raped entertaining. the only enjoyable part of that game was beer. fedex GAF. Security guards taking me out for throwing a snowball at a ref GAF. taking two hours to get out of a parking lot GAF. Now moving to the future. the redskins will lose to the cowboys, a team whose quarter back is a little kid just running around throwing picks and doing whatever. the sad part about this loss is that it will allow the cowboys a shot at the division title because the eagles also blow. The NFC east should be banned from football. not a one team in this division has a good quarter back. the best one was in prison. Perhaps we need more inmates on the field. I think they made a movie about that staring adam sandler, who the redskins should think about hiring i think hes got what it takes. In conclusion the NFC is GAF. the cowboys are gonna win the title. Yay? merry christmas jackals get awesome with some inlaws and spread unf all around.

Chalk one up for the little guy

Loyola upsets Indiana on road, 72-67
Win is Greyhounds' 1st ever over Big 10 opponent

Granted Indiana is not exactly the powerhouse from the old Gene Hackman movie anymore but still sort of a big deal. Fucking Rutgers knocked the mighty Peacocks below .500 when things were looking up for them too but at least one horrible basketball program got a big win.

Break it down for me Jaws

In this era of 24 hour news and ESPN and Thursday Night Football and Saturday Night Football and Thursday Night Football Special Edition on Christmas and NFL Network and 37 Bowl Games sometimes a sports fan gets caught up in the matrix and doesn't really analyze a football game. I'm going to break down a little Monday Night Football for all of you right here in the den.

Often times you hear coaches talking about winning each quarter. I'm gonna break that all the way down to winning each play. I'll define an offensive win as a gain of 4 or more yards because three such gains gets you a first down. It's also an offensive win if a fist down is gained by gaining less than three yards. I went through the first 25 minutes of football last night to analyze just how the Giants took a 24-0 lead. Lets go to the video tape...



What you can barely see here is the Giants winning 35 of the first 49 plays. That boys and girls is more than a two to one ratio. They also won the first NINE third downs. This is how you dominate a football game boys and girls. Hopefully little Jimmy Zorn figures this out this week so he can beat the Cowboys on Sunday...

5 steps of grief

1 Denial
2 Anger
3 Bargaining
4 Depression
5 Acceptance - You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly.

Fucking Fuck

Fucking fucking fucking fucking fuck. Fuck. Fucking fucking fucking fucking fuck. Fucketty Fuck fucking fucking fucking fuck. You just embarrassed the fuck out of fucking every fucking fuck fuck fuck in the whole fucking fucking fuck. Fuck. fucking fucking fucking fuck. FUCK. The fucking Redskins fucking fuck. Fuckerttyy fucking fucking fucking fuck. FFFFUUUCCCKKK!!!!

An attempt to un-Gay the Den

Along with the help of SS, in our haste to trash talk we have stained the Den with gayness and for this I apologize on our behalf. Let's take a look at some futbol chicks to make us all feel better shall we? Tico, I am counting on you coming up with some better cullo buenas than these chicas because your expertise in this arena (a.k.a. soccer and hot latin women) is far superior to mine.

Talk about GAF . . .

Yowsas. This dude could be gayer if he was on all fours suckin the wide outs dick.

The Giants are gonna beat that ass son. Beat it like a drum. Beat it like a steel drum. Like a steel drum at Rhumbar. And your boy SS will be dancing. Dancing like a man possessed!!!

For those Jackals who don't like to combine awesome with awesomeness

I like T&A with my sports viewing and beverage consumption. In my opinion it part of what makes football so 'Merican and awesome. Some jackals (or clones?) however don't see the need for having a little visual entertainment for the 4,001 commercial breaks during a sporting event while not in beverage or bathroom lines. But some of those individuals happen to think that the clone pictured above is not GAF. Head I 100% agree that some things sexually related have no business being in football. I'm just sayin'

Go SKINS!!!!!!!!

You know what you will never see at Giants games? Cheerleaders... One of the 4,344,567,565,556,565,921,685,393,029 reasons why the Redskins are the best football team in the NFC East. The season may end in two weeks, but at least we can make a few Giants fans join in our misery by beating that ass tonight proper. A few things in the Skins favor, they have nothing to lose, all the players are playing for a new boss and their jobs, it is a home game, the Skins are getting hot (albeit too late), the Giants suck balls, the Giants almost always blow it for nationally televised games, Ball DEEP needs something good to happen for his favorite team, and by default our cheerleaders are hotter because the homo giants don't believe in T&A on the sidelines. GO SKINS!

I'm Your Huckleberry

SS,

I'll take the Skins beating your GMen on MNF. Ba leeve dis. BD2, you doubting your own team? Bottle of Jimmyson to the both of you skrimps. Skins win and John Gruden professes man love for Campbell on Monday Night. Boogerdamus has spoken, it will be so.

let me help you SS:

Iraqi Notorious BIG

It gets real Jackal about 1:02 in. HOWL!

Vegas vs. Atlantic City

In the meantime we can go to AC? What is Clonelle or whoever that was talking about? That is like comparing Megan Fox to Rosanne Barr. Yeah, they are both humans but that is about the only thing they have in common. BMR is right AC sucks. I'd rather go to Black Bear Chalet or some other shit hole in the woods than stay within the confines of this god awful state.

Don't believe me? Look to Hollywood for proof then:

Atlantic City obviously GAF



Las Vegas so jackal you get awesome upon arrival

Bama Ass Skrimps!

BMR unwrapped 80 hours of vacation time about a week ago and his employer is all "use it or lose it". Basically, he's chiseled out 120 hours of getting awesome leading into Christmas week. Did I hear someone say Jackal of the Day?

A Jackal misses Vegas....like a maulfucker

Now I understand why Nicholas Cage was so depressed in Leaving Las Vegas. It is like being a kid, going to Disney World and then having to go back to school in time for your math test.

Only this math test is being pounded in your ass in the form of a job that lasts 30+ years and the only conversation you can have outside of this nightmare of a responsibility with other "test takers" is about how shitty your job, commute, weather, mortgage, co-worker, boss, housing market, job market, political issues, environment and business buzzwords are... at nauseum.

A jackal misses Vegas like a mutha fucka. SS we gots to find a way to get another fix on the double. Remember dude at Rhumbar? Now I know why he was pouring out his blood sweat and tears to the rythmic beats of those awesome DJs. Because he knew just how awesome we were getting and how fleeting getting awesome in Vegas really is.....ballleeevveee it.

What is Jimi Hendrix without his acid? What is Eli Manning without a nice dude in his bed to snuggle up with? What is a mancation without Tico? What is BMR without awesome cartoons? What is a jackal without Vegas? ....Sad.

Christmas came early!!

Good riddance Cerrato. Hopefully now my team won't blow goats now that this jackal is running things.

Bruce Allen, the son of former Redskins coach George Allen, will be the new
executive vice president of football operations and general manager of the
Washington Redskins, according to radio station ESPN 980.

WE WANT CHUCKY!!!

Jackal Days of Christmas

Old Ass Motherfuckin' Jackal of the Day

This dude is fuckin' jackal, he called his 102nd birthday "crap" and he modeled his architecture after the shape of Brazilian women. Dude's been in exile, I didn't know you could go into exile in the 20th century. Dude also enjoys a fine cigar and  married 38 years younger.

Confusing situation: Rich dude + busted ass hoes = BD2 confused

If I had billions of dollars, was an amazingly talented athlete, had global fame and recognition, yachts, houses, money, intelligence and my own brand I admit things would be different for me. It would probably allow me to have temptations that normal plebs will never encounter.

But why on earth did Tiger pick nasty tramps to cheat with? He could have had anyone. Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, etc. etc. Why these nasty bitches??

Was he sick of being part of a sport owned, run by and supported by a bunch of rich white dudes and putting up a Bryant Gumble front?

"Hey gang, I love tennis, golf, polo and cashmere sweaters and other
white people things and use proper English and golly do I love a nice ice cream on a warm day. "

Only to jackal it up and wild out on the town with strippers in the shadows so he wouldn't lose the green jackets the stuffy white dudes gave him? If so that is cool, but jesus man don't sleep with the tramps. If I was a woman and made like $12 an hour as a cocktail waitress and Tiger woods banged me, best believe I would do an interview with the today show for $150K. You should know that...dumbass.

Your wife is hot (sort of....kinda has a dude jaw) and if you don't like her you could always trade her in for a new model in like 10-15 years like most respectable famous people do. It is sort of hard to feel bad for him because if you cheat you are going to get caught. Bottom line. You always get caught. Even if you work at the night shift at McDonalds, you are going to get caught. Women bleed for days and don't die. Dem bitches is crazy, yo! You are rich, you had a pre-nup. If you didnt like her then dump her. Cheating is for sucks. That said, I do feel bad for Tiger (even though I don't really like him at all.) This media is out of control. So many scrimps a jackal is drownin' in dis bitch.

So Tiger, I hope you are on your yacht in Sweden chillin' with some Swedish bitches, because deez fools have gone crazy over here in 'Merica.

PS - In case anyone cares there is still real news going on NPR radio, Bloomberg and one or two remaining real news sources.

God, please no. Not ANOTHER YOUTUBE FROM BALL DEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And one about cars, no less. Granted that commercial is

quite jackal and indeed, FAF(funny as fuck), however, it

would take a built-in keggerator and grill to make the Yaris

even a shade of jackal. I am starting to think no 'tag line' will

ever accumulate to rival 'ANOTHER YOUTUBE FROM

BALL DEEP'.

Fuck your YouTube links very much indeed, sir.

Thirdly, I don't know how you claim the Den is weak like

Ukraine on the heels of a post from Shote Sleeves.

Granted, it was about college and football...

Australian for car commercial

Tonight!!

Holy shit am I excited! After this chump fails to win the Heisman,

we get to watch this! 2 Live Crew! Army fatigues! Stealing car stereos! The U of old=UNF all over everyone

BOOOOOOOOOOGERDAAAAAAAAAAAMUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Browns win 13-6????

WTF???!!!! (cont.)

Jackal stocking stuffer...

WTF???!!!!

Holy shit this is GAF.

DId SS Pull a Virginia Tech Special?

SS, you alright? Did big boss man get to you? Hard luck, beast.

Have yourself(and Tico) a pair of Friday Hotties, a little early, courtesy of your boy Boogers...

Not another day... I can't take it...

I have been here 23 minutes and I am ready to kill every fucking body in this building.

"uh Lee do you have a folder full of all the menial mindless bullshit tasks I send you that aren't your job that I am too lazy to do" - boss (not the cool one)

"no, I file emails by work stream" - SS

"oh I just want to make sure everyone does everything I say" - boss (not the cool one)

"yeah I am pretty sure we never made edits to that doc. I made all the other edits that were requested" - SS

"let me go check my sent items" - boss (not the cool one)

"oh ok, have fun" - SS

What Ball Deep does for a free Coke and a Hot Dog

Breaking News: College Shooter not associated with VT

A man who shoot up a community college in Northern Virgina surprisingly did not have any connections to Virginia Tech. The non-VT shooter did not even plan to transfer to Virginia Tech or had any family ties to the school.

There are reports that he was spotted at a bar that was showing the VT game, making some sense out of this senseless act.

p.s. Boogers why the fuck you post a picture of fat nerd computer kid?

The Ravens Suck

I don't want to make the playoffs. My team looks like shit. Everyone knows the offense runs through Ray Rice. Joe Flacco, you're not Steve McNair, this was not Ravens vs. Colts Divisional Playoff from 2007 that subsequently got BMR booted out of Plompton. Don't throw interceptions in the end zone on second down. Frank Walker, I know you can't cover your kids text books, but goddamnit. Ed Reed, thanks for letting us know you weren't gonna play about twenty minutes prior to kickoff. T Sizzle, way to beat up and bleach soak your ghetto ass baby mama and not travel with the team. Ravens organization, I love you, but goddamn recognize a fucking opportunity when it walks up and kicks you in the nuts on national television. Awesome, now the weather sucks and all I can cheer for is Canadians on ice getting fucked up by Russians and one of college basketball's streakiest, yes SS, streakiest players leading the Terps to glory on the hard court.

TV is about to get . . . . Gay as FUCK!

http://www.nbc.com/sing-off/video/clips/the-sing-off/1179089/

Yup. That will be on TV. I would assume 5 days a week eventually. Have fun BD2.

Howl if ya hear me!

Kaia was asleep then she heard the Terps were about to tip off and she promptly woke up and howled. Howl if ya hear me!!!!

Terps Vs. Villanova Live Game Thread

Boogers and I are in the original Jackals Den. Eight one one Malcolm. We have beer. We've been drinking it. We rooted for the SKins even though neither of us like those Bammas. We've watched the Giants teach the Cowgirls the art of SMASHMOUF FOOTBAWL. We have had much salsa verde. The Terps are about to jump off. Watch the game and post in the comments. Garys about to get another top 5 pelt to put on the wall in his office.



HOOOOWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talking Football

Run the fucking ball Redskins I got COTRIGHT! going in fantasy...

Fuck NY

I found a good reason to have a kid.  Among all of the many other things that make it awesome to be the dad of a future jackalette, being a father allows for an early exit from a holiday party where the majority of participants reside in either in "Bro"boken, NJ or Strong Island, NY.  No football, no quality beverages no hot women, no decent food, etc., etc.

Being a father gets you out of parties with a bunch of Long Island guidos talking about "da giants" and "mootzarell" and " da Bronx Bombas worll champs".  Seriously fuck NY all "7" boroughs.  Fuck the wannabe rich fucks of Long Island, Fuck the yuppie hipster Brooklynites, fuck the my shit don't stink and I wear Brooks Brothers Manhattanites, fuck the suburban sprawl Queens, fuck da home of da Yankees Bronx, fuck Staten Island NYs landfill, and most of all fuck the entire state of NJ,  Parasite on a giant fucking douchebag's ass.  Please someone throw Ball DEEP a life jacket because a jackal be drowning in GAFness up in dis bitch.

BD2 out.

No Justice Done Here

...but you make due with what you got.

Elevator Talk

Look at your boy SS go!

It's casual Friday!

I got the shoes on!

Did my boss ask me if I'm going bowling?

Yes!

Do I care?

No!

Do you get this joke?

You weren't in Vegas were you???

Boogerdamus: Steelers Miss the Playoffs

When Boogerdamus speaks, ninjas might tend to listen from now on. Reports of frustration in Shittsburgh. Ba-leeve ma. Happy Birthday, BD2! My birthday wish for you is that your 'Skins knock off the undefeated Saints. Boogerdamus has spoken, it will be so...

Happy BDay BD2

Can you imagine what would happen if the two dudes from Rhumbar and these guys hooked up for a dance off? Jesus the world might not be able to take it.

Happy Birthday Homey!!!

BMR/Head Jackal? Bait Post

This is stupid. Obama's Health care plan sucks.
Ravens suck.
Weed sucks.
VT sucks.

Hybrids suck.

Vegetarians are European and/or GAF.

Bluegrass sucks.

Comics about Jackals suck.
Nerds suck.
Dogs suck.
Virginia sucks.

Vegas Recap: Epic Jackalness in Sin City (The Proof)

imitating all the chicks that take sexy pictures everywhere in Vegas.  a.k.a freakin out the squaresNastiest beers ever consumed
ONLY cool things about England
imitating all the chicks that take sexy pictures...to the next level
SS = JAF that lady with the warmups and cowboy hat = gay clone ass bama
scene of the crime(s)
even our camera was drunk
Why Redskins, why?  on my vacation nonetheless...SS order us another Bloody Mary and Modelo stat.
See that hotel that says Encore way the fuck in the back?  This is half way there from our hotel. yeah, we walked there....drunk
Most jackal dude ever
Hey, ya part of da family.
Tiger that ate the Roy or the other one... who cares still badass.  dude was droppin UNF everywhere
dolphins are GAF
Animal park?  get me a drink.
Ball Deep...out.

I only hope we can rinse and repeat with more jackals next time to take it to the next level.  Good times, SS.  Good times.