Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Jackal Come Lately: No Room For VM On the UMD Bandwagon

Before this gets too far along, BMR has to set the record straight. I don't have a written statement, but I'd like to recount, for the Den's good and conscious consideration, an exchange I had some weeks back with our boy, one University of Maryland College Park Terrapin Alumnus, Voicemail. I was attending a Wild Card Playoff game/bluegrass-inspired hoot-en-anny, erstwhile, the Terps were suiting up for a wee bit of the heave ho on the hardcourt for their first in-conference matchup with FSU's 'Noles. BMR was fixin' to see how his boys would fare, not an alumnus at all, but a true Maryland sports fan - Ravens/O's/Terps/Caps/eh hem, Wizards, but consistent as a mawlfucker. My question was posed to our good lad, VM, "Are we gonna throw this Terps game on?" BMR inquired. "They suck yo,"(or something akin) was VM's retort. At some point thereafter dude ran on about some character from Georgetown and 'did I see that game last week?' of course to which your real live jackal BMR exhaled with a "pffft", as in 'fuck yo' shit' or 'Georgetown, I hate yo' sorry ass'. We caught bits and pieces, but a majority of the second half didn't make it to the screen. BMR was on an island. VM, is this to say you've worked so long at your [undisclosed employer] and fogotten what it's like to be here?Georgetown isn't doing shit. Rock the red, yo.


Easy math

Bad day at work? Man got you down? Got a case of the tuesdays? 

Leave early + glenmrangie + ice + sister picking you up + second row seats to terps = problem solved

GCOTD: LeBron James



When you're a 7-foot tall manchild, flopping for foul calls will make you look damn near ridiculous. Dude can ball, it's been documented, but play the game, man. Let the refs be refs. The NBA is basketball's gay clone. Thank the lawd jesus, the college game is still pure and jackal as fuck.

You're the gay clone of that kid who was nationally televised as a high schooler. I used to root for you like a real live jackal. Now, I'll only do so when you play the Spurs, because only Tim Duncan cries for more fouls than you do.



American sports media has nurtured this fucker's ego for wayyyy too long. Who is this tattoo referring to as the chooser? David Stern? God? NBA fans? You're not basketball's messiah, dude.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Saturday Morning Awesome Getting Excuse #182: Six Nations Rugby

It brought me great sadness when I first read this, because I missed the entire thing and I completely let last Six Nations Rugby season slip through me mits.

But now a jackal is in and looking forward to seeing this at 9:30am on Saturday, February 6. Location unknown.


SS, you should roll out Super Bowl sunday and get real awesome, because the Scottish play the cheese slurpin', ain't never done nuthin' for 'Merica, but probably'd be speakin' German right now if it wasn't for our mawlfuckin' ass no good French at 10am. It'll actually be a situation where you can root for a football(of sorts) team because it's where you're from.

Here's the gayest Irish fight song ever to get Voicemail in my corner. It has a good message, although my ninja, Paul Brady sums up the notion that Brits ain't got no business still clinging to Irish soil in this little ditty, which is deceptively cold blooded as a muthfucka:

Have You Seen This Jackal?: BD2

There has been a great disturbance in the jackal force. BD2 is MIA behind clone lines. Is it possible the jackal gods were upset he attempted to erect an adjacent temple of jackaldom, known as the 'Straight Outta Plompton' blog, and struck him from the blogosphere entirely? Surely Mrs. BD2 will follow Mrs. SS lead and purchase a web-browsing-enabled cell phone. I miss you, BD2. I miss your musk.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

JOTD: Gary Fucking Williams





To say I'm feeling big balled about the Terps right now is an understatement. I had season tickets to football this year and they won two games for Anubis's sake... But that suffering was worth it because the season tickets to basketball are oh so enjoyable. Terps are going places this year, fun places.

Last night Gary Williams coached his 1000th game. He's won 640 something of those, 430 of them at MD. Feinstein has an article up about it. Long story short Jackal came to MD when he didn't have to. He came home to MD when the school was about to get dicked by the white bread NCAA just like Bryan Tribble was getting dicked by the white bread government for a mistake that Len Bias made. Mother fuckers trying to hold Jackals down. But Jackals don't get held down they get their grind and on fight back with a vengeance. Then they drink the sweet nectar of victory.

So on this the day after Gary coached his 1000th game I bring back an old folk tune for the old BBall coach. If I was a girl I most certainly would be his ho.

Baleeve it.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

ACC PSA: We Aint No Joke!


You come to Comcast Center this year and your gonna get disrespected and UNFed on. Terps ain't fuckin around no more. You think beating Duke by 15 at home means something? You come out and win the tip and hit a three? Then my boy Mosely busts an And 1 in your grill, we get a stop and a bucket, get up by 5+ and force you to call a timeout and YOU NEVER GET THAT CLOSE AGAIN. Beat NC State by 24 and it wasn't that close. YOU GOT A HOT DATE ON TUESDAY MIAMI, WOOOOOOOWEEEEEE!!!!!!!

I fat fingered that post

I tailgated. What of it? Jackals should be here. Ticket was available. Year of the clone continues....
SS

Jackals be slippin

Live and direct from comcast center. Second row. A seat was

Friday, January 22, 2010

Friday Hottie: Melissa Theuriau

Can you imagine getting your news from this? Hey, there was an earthquake. Your football team lost. The world is essentially fucked. Somehow, it's all a bit easier to take on those glossy lips. Sorry these are all from her at work, google her name and you'll see more, if you pickin' up what I'm layin' down. Female celebrities, there's always someone with you at the topless beach!