Friday Hottie: Doutzen Kroes

KFTC: Miami Heat Fans

This shit is really fucking stupid. How are you going to have such little faith in "your" team? You really need to resort to black magic and voodoo because LeBron ain't the Chosen One. I'd "choose" Dwayne Wade over that bama any day of the week. Go get 'em, Dirk! Do we have to wait until Sunday again? Oh yeah and I just saw this. Karma can be a total bitch sometimes.

Friday Hottie: Melanie Iglesias

Heading to the Inferno that is the East Coast!

If these retards (imagine yourself a picture of some goofily dressed Mounties right here) delay me or hold me up in anyway God help them. It won't be God save the queen let me tell you. Fucking over dressed zealots. Ha ha I kid I love the mounties and I love Canada, play Neil Young every time I get to the border as a mini karmic peace offering.

So you Jackals better be getting ready to do some serious fucking camping. I know BMR is down. I know Rusty T Bone is down. Glinker's (I forget his Den moniker cause the sorry ass never posts shit, so how am I to remember?) gotta hike 50 miles on the AT I hear. Pussy. I just hope this shit happens and no one gets burnt alive or falls off the mountainside cause they are so damn intoxicated. Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt you know. Safe camping and following all the local laws and regulations is what we here at the Den are all about. Oh shit who am I kidding, I need to go pack. Procrastinated long enough.

Death of Freedom: The Watchmen

We're running out of time, y'all.

JOTD: Mark Zuckerberg?

How's that for a curveball? Didn't see ol' Boogers comin' with that shit.

Friday Hottie: Olga Kurylenko

Take this job and shove it! (till Aug. that is)

That's right, schools out, you sorry fucks. Me and Boogers got this shit on the down low. Jobs are overrated. Working is for toolboxes. If you didn't get that right, let me repeat, toolboxes. I'm looking your way RTB and Head and Tico. I know RTB works way too much. Head, you gotta have some important job with obnoxious hours and workloads. Tico I am guessing your job sucks too. If not, my bad.

So in this light, I am rolling out. Might not be on the Den too much, but I'll do my best. Other lazy Jackals need to pick their shit up and get their Den on. Oh whoops they can't comment or post nuthin cause their jobs are all demanding. Fuck y'all all y'all.

Keep Fucking That Chicken: Harold Camping

"We've always said May 21 was the day, but we didn't understand altogether the spiritual meaning," he said. "The fact is there is only one kind of people who will ascend into heaven ... if God has saved them they're going to be caught up." Camping then acknowledged he was, in fact, the inspiration for Jeff Dunham's ventriloquist alter-ego, Walter.

How fucking self-centerd can we be as a species? It's bad enough thinking that God spun all of this into motion for the good of man. So he could walk around in 'god's own image' and fuck up everything God gave him. Yeah, "It took me seven days to make you all this shit, so be sure and fuck it up real good, okay? Alright, I'll be back when you're done."

You stupid fucking honkey. It won't end in October either. And if you say one goddamn thing about another miscalculation, I'm gonna dip into my 401(k), buy a plane ticket and come kick you in your 89 year-old balls. Die, fucker!

Unwarranted Celebration of the Day: BHMF

"I'd also like to hark back to a post a while back when HEAD was supporting some cockamanie economic plan. Probably QE2 or some plan O was touting to save the economy. I remember pointing out something about HYPER inflation and that is the real threat here. Fuck inflation that shit is for pussies, HYPER inflation is what we need to be worried about!!!!! Oh shit, I'm gonna buy some more ammo and seeds and booze cause its gonna be a wild ride!"

Or not:Just for reference, "hyperinflation" means an inflation rate of at least 50 percent per month, or about 13,000% annually. So just 12,998.3% to go!

If there's one thing that freaks me out about BMR's post, it's the prospect of Wall Street going all bubble with our food supply. There aren't enough good investments out there so they just prop up one market (commodities) after another (housing) after another (dot com) and we all get fucked in the process. But going back to the rules that kept us mostly bubble-free for half a century (1932-1980s) would be socialist or something so we can't possibly do that...