CTB Show 579: Tiny House Slumlord
1 week ago
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Scar Shoulders Stream of Consciousness
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Friday, November 6, 2009
Maryland Chooses the Wrong Uniforms for VT Game
As ScarShoulders mentioned previously, Maryland has chosen to wear camouflage uniforms for the Virginia Tech game next weekend.
And now a VT alumnus has killed a bunch of soldiers. Good fucking work Debbie Yow. Can a guy be blamed for confusing camo-wearing Maryland players with real soldiers? You mess with a bull, you get the horns - it's not like it was a secret that we were a bunch of psychos...
More seriously, my nominees for GCOTD are the reporters, such as Wade Goodwyn of NPR, who have gone out of their way to mention that the Fort Hood shooter was a VT grad even though he graduated in 1995 and got a doctorate since then. Just crazy lame.
And now a VT alumnus has killed a bunch of soldiers. Good fucking work Debbie Yow. Can a guy be blamed for confusing camo-wearing Maryland players with real soldiers? You mess with a bull, you get the horns - it's not like it was a secret that we were a bunch of psychos...More seriously, my nominees for GCOTD are the reporters, such as Wade Goodwyn of NPR, who have gone out of their way to mention that the Fort Hood shooter was a VT grad even though he graduated in 1995 and got a doctorate since then. Just crazy lame.
SS is to Reply all what Lawrence Taylor is to Crack
Because SS just loves replying to all almost as much as getting everyone fired up for upcoming events, this post is dedicated to being the spot that everyone can say whatever the hell they want about the 14th weekend. What you need to bring, ticket disputes, shit talking, etc. etc. 
Just 2 rules:Don't use names, and no touching of the hair or face.
(Let's be honest, everyone is probably going to keep replying to all, but you can't blame a jackal for trying. )
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Aldente Schwanz Wins!
Ball DEEP, this one is for you:
So Aldente just edges out ScarShoulders. BD2, any of those guys look familiar?
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Clash of the Cretins | ||||
| ||||
So Aldente just edges out ScarShoulders. BD2, any of those guys look familiar?
GCOTD: NFL Power Rankings
These fuckin' things should seriously be renamed "Flavor of the Week". The Power Rankings, to me, are as insignificant as the FedEx Cup to the PGA Tour. While the FedEx Cup certainly sends a lot of coin the winners way, golfers will still be measured by majors. It's bad enough, "experts" and pundits offer their "take" on the weekly matchups, pretty much going 50-50 all season, because any fuckin' thing can happen. It's actually more GAF than fantasy football, because if you're a fan of a shitty team, at least fantasy football makes otherwise meaningless games interesting. Nevertheless, fantasy football is extremely GAF. Hearing someone bitch about how a player on their fantasy team didn't perform reminds me of a woman complaining she sat in my pee on the toilet seat or a fat person asking for an elevator. For fuck's sake, Power Rankings, go asleep.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Jackal in Hiding: Scar Shoulders
That victory was impressive enough for Gaybriel Clonelle to come out of summer hibernation and demand a bottle of scotch. It's hard to believe this Eagles team lost to the Oakland Raiders two weeks ago. Eli Manning is a hair more intimidating than this kitten:
His stats through their last three losses
| WEEK | OPP | RESULT | CMP | ATT | YDS | CMP% | LNG | TD | INT | RAT | ATT | YDS | AVG | TD |
| 6 | @NO | L 48-27 | 14 | 31 | 178 | 45.2 | ||||||||
| 7 | ARI | L 24-17 | 19 | 37 | 243 | 51.4 | 62 | 1 | 3 | 47.5 | 1 | -1 | -1.0 | 0 |
| 8 | @PHI | L 40-17 | 20 | 39 | 222 | 51.3 | 35 | 1 | 2 | 55.7 | 3 | 34 | 11.3 | 0 |
Joe Flacco through a 3 game skid:
| WEEK | OPP | RESULT | CMP | ATT | YDS | CMP% | LNG | TD | INT | RAT | ATT | YDS | AVG | TD |
| 4 | @NE | L 27-21 | 27 | 47 | 264 | 57.4 | 22 | 2 | 1 | 78.7 | 1 | 2 | 2.0 | 0 |
| 5 | CIN | L 17-14 | 22 | 31 | 186 | 71.0 | 48 | 1 | 2 | 70.1 | 1 | 9 | 9.0 | 0 |
| 6 | @MIN | L 33-31 | 28 | 43 | 385 | 65.1 | 63 | 2 | 0 | 109.2 | 0 | 0 | 0.0 | 0 |
Hey, Giants, did you have fun beating up the fat retarded kids of the NFL? I hope so. Welcome to the 2009 season, bitches.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Ball DEEP Stream of Conscienceness Post: Uhh...Oveckin and Tubby look alot alike
Hockey is the only sport the MD/VA area has any postseason hopes in so I thought now was an appropriate time to mention how much Tubby time and Alex Ovechkin look alike.... I'm just sayin'...Not sure what happened to Tubby Time. Haven't seen the guy since he was in my wedding. (I admit 10 groomsmen was excessive.) Dude fell off the face of the earth and shit. So if you're out there Tubby, blow a jackal up.
Subsequently, Ovechkin also looks exactly like Richard Kiel, the dude from the old Bond movie:
and more notably Happy Gilmore:
I watched some of the hockey game last night, and I have to admit, last night's game was pretty boring because they were so good. That is a good problem to have in my estimation. I am hanging in there with the hockey thing to see where this thing goes. Because without a home team to root for, it is going to be a long winter in the Northeast.
By the way did you see the Jay-Z game opening entertainment last night? What a fucking disaster. Rap straight up sucks balls these days.
Man I really hate New York and New Yorkers...
Thursday, October 29, 2009
JOTD: Cliff Lee
“Not nervous at all,” he said, before pausing and adding: “It’s been a long time since I’ve been nervous playing this game. It’s what I’ve been doing my whole life. I put all the work in. You do everything you need to do to prepare, and I try not to leave anything to chance. So what’s the point in being nervous? I’ve already done the work. It’s game time. Time to go out there and have fun and execute and let your skills take over.”
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