Jackal Precaution: Ninjas on the Loose

 

Not like I'm telling you anything you don't know, but ninjas are gunnin' for your ass. Just this past Saturday I was getting awesome with T Large, we were keepin' it magnificent and what not, but my one buddy rolled in, two ninjas(presumably jackal by association) slipped into our midst, undetected. It was beyond my comprehension at the time(sometime later I inquired "I saw so and so, where did he end up?" turns out dude aided and abedded ninjas, unbeknownst) So they were slurping from the teet of the keg and partaking in some wicked fun Kubb action, I'm not sure if they grabbed some wife ass or just disrespected one of the birthday boys, but jackals made quick work, just hope your savvy enough to do the same when the occasion calls.

JOTD: Jackal mutha' fuckin' salute! Jackals on deck

T Large is turning some amount of years today, it's not important. What is important is who is hullaballooing their ass off for his cumpleanos. We're gonna make this bastard piss on his shoes. Can you say Jameson? I can. I have. Against better judgment I did last night and ended up leaving early from the bar to come home and sleep on my couch. Now I'm going to throw Kubb blocks with an old school fuckin' ninja. I am jamming to Tom Waits and he's talking about bourbon. It's got the makings of a jackal afternoon, evening, it's going to be chainless, relinquished of the heezy, never kiss a Gun Street girl again.

Damn skippy!

Nuthin' but love headed the Garden State's way. They've abducted too many jackals. We're stretched as thin as Lindsay Caldwell up in this muthafucka'. 

The main thing, BD, my priority up in this bitch is to keep the Genesis aflame. Remember ninjas with the Italian icies, ninja? Remember stick ball? Remember knockin' ninjas out tha' box? These fools are narcoleptic, fallin' asleep at the wheel. Ninjas be like Sunny Bono on a set of Rossignols. I'm talking about apples and the proximity to the tree from whence they fell. I'm talking about pods, in which multiple peas thrive in communal harmony. Ninja, I am speaking about cloth and the cuts made from that cloth, ninja? They're the SAME CLOTH!!!

Boog and Ball DEEP Show, ALL DAY... Please balleeeve meah!

Boog, I want you to know that I am reading your posts. You, like me, may get discouraged when you come in to see "0 Comments" on the bottom of your posts that you put out there for all to enjoy. Sometimes I may not comment. It's just that I know it is just you and me holdin' shit down around here. So when you pop in the Den and see "0 Comments" on your posts that you put your hard work and thought into, it isn't that I am not present or just not replying like the rest of these thankless bastards. I just want you to know I got love for ya and your comments on life in general. Keep doing yo thing....Hold it down Blood Jackal.

JOTD: -7 through 16 holes, I don't care if you don't golf, shit is Jackal

I hate it when a team manages a dynasty, is the favorite or spends/makes astronomical amounts of money, but you're a douchebag if you don't comprehend the dominance of Teegro. I'll root for the field, but dude is jackal with a 4 Iron. Golf is fucking nuts, because you're your own opponent. You have a caddy, but adjustments, club selection, judging the wind, all of these must be made by the golfer. As far as competition on a golf course, this dude is Jackal to the bone. I can't speak for his personal life, I've never known him to be one to get awesome. I can say, without a doubt that my dog would fuck this dog up.

In the personal life makes Tiger a Jackal column, I submit his fine ass Swedish wife:

Or whatever kind of Scandinavian he managed to wrangle. It is a shame he talked her into squeezin' puppies out of there, but oh well. Can we have a simultaneous Gay Clone/Jackal of the Day? If we, do, I submit Tiger Woods as the penultimate Jackal/Gay Clone.

Jackalslist.org Ball DEEP is selling his whip

If you know anyone that needs a new set of wheels, tell em to buy Ball Deep's Pu$%y-wagon:

http://newjersey.craigslist.org/cto/1284678278.html

$500 off if you are a jackal, or if your name is Steven.

Friday Hottie: Megan Good/Odette Yustman

One of the many reasons why I have watched Stomp the Yard 5 million times: Megan Good is way hot. (I am not sure why she always does the eyebrow face though.) I attempted to watch The Unborn the other night...not exactly sure why. I was able to stomach about 33 seconds before I realized it was the worst movie ever made. But scrolled through the DVD just to get a few more glances at the lovely Megan and leading role Odette Yustman. Delicious...

GCOTD: Ben Affleck

I just watched Bigger, Faster, Stronger last night. I highly recommend my Jackals to check this joint out. Very funny and very good. Point/counter point on the whole Roids in America craze.

As a bonus it reminded me of this classic clip of Ben Affleck losing his shit in a big way from that old HBO family special. Too freaking funny. Sort of like a PG -13 version of the Jesse Spano, "I'm So Excited" saved by the bell meltdown. Enjoy.

Short changed...

Pardon me, suh, but could you spare some more details about your Big Fat Greek Vacation? I can only fantasize about the luxuries you and your Mrs. are "dabbling" in. I'm drawing out of my savings to pay my rent, chasing down $800 because it makes or breaks(right now it's breaking) my summer, working part time when I get a day off, only guy in my office not taking a vacation this summer(in-fucking-cluding interns! hot and unattractive alike), so your post was effortless, not funny, not "worldly", essentially all it accomplished was displacing my previous, funnier, Den-rejuvenating post. So thanks for that. Way to contribute fodder. P.S. get the Original BD, Rusty T., whatever his fuckin' name is on the list of contributors. He's putting in work. I'm really depressed by the amount of fantasy rosters he has, but I think he might have earned some posting rights. Him and Tico should do a tandem! SS, go fuck yourself!

Intercontinental Burn

I'm in Greece and drinking.

You all are at work.

SS > Everyone

Suck it.