BBQ Recap (just for you Head)

I bought a bunch of food.

I cooked a bunch of food.

Boogs got a bunch of beer.

People came over and ate said food and drank a little beer.

The people in the pictures got awesome.

Everyone else had a gay clone excuse.

I woke up the next morning and made an epic journey to small town USA which I will recap later...

Gay Clone of the week: ESPNs My Wish - REACTION

SS a few comments on your post. I'm not putting comments just adding a new post because why the fuck not. No one reads this shit anymore anyway.

The Tour de France is badass. I an going to receive quite a bit of shit for this, but it really is amazing. If you can get past the outfits which are quite gay, and the fact that it is in France also gay, you will see after watching it for a bit that these guys are freaks of nature. Not sure if you have ridden a bike recently but that shit is hard especially up steep hills. I am tired after 20-30 miles and these guys go flat out for hundreds eventually thousands of miles. Wrecking and pushing each other the whole time.

Also, there is nothing funny about kids with cancer. That is some seriously fucked up shit. But quite Jackal to use such a sensitive topic to get your point across...which was the fact that ESPN does lick serious balls. Unless it is week 8 of the NFL season, you won't catch me wasting more than 10-12 minutes a year on that bullshit station. It is the CNN of sports. 24 hour coverage news is absurd, but 24 hour coverage of sports is just a waste.  The worst part is as much money as they have they still use the same bullshit formula with that annoying ass techno music during sportscenter and the shitty ass sets with shitty ass announcers (Erin Andrews and Wilbon excluded.)



 I mean seriously fuck Berman.  

ESPN licks banus and I like the Tour de France.  Yeah I said it.  Respect dat shit.

PS "try and not die falling asleep driving to work " such a good call I do that everyday. It's a miracle I'm alive.

Gay Clone of the Week: ESPNs My Wish

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/feature/index?page=MyWish

Jesus Titty Fucking Christ. Every fucking summer. Fuck.

Kids get cancer.

Athletes and franchises do charity work.

I fucking get it. I fucking know this. It's a probation thing. Nobody cares.

When I wake up at 6am to go to my hell hole of a job and am sucking down a cup of coffee to try and not die falling asleep driving to work I don't need to be beat over the head with this reality. Brett Farve drama is less torturous. Baseball highlights are less torturous. Anything is better than this. Tour de France and MLS included.

You want to do something cool? Why don't you splice some real world news into the broadcast so I can pretend I give a fuck around the water cooler. Is that too much to ask for? Not to see a kid pissing blood who will die at the ripe old age of six and a half playing video games with Hanley Ramirez while I'm trying to eat my fucking breakfast? Get the kid a mother fuckin lap dance or a kilo of coke to ease the pain and I'll tune in but until you start Jackaling up the cure I got the fucking disease . . . Gay Cloneitis for all you mother fuckers.

Seriously ESPN, go fuck yourself.

cqq99....I'm on to you!

This past weekend, in the land of the Jackals (MD/DC), I was enlightened as to the identity of the infamous ghost poster cqq99.

Let me take this time to ensure you he is undoubtedly a jackal. I can also vouch for his insane culinary skills whilst tailgating, and his excellence at getting awesome, as well as his willingness to fuck with Pontius on the regular.

Even if he did bitch out at the last Mancation, there is still hope for a jackal to be a jackal in the future.

BORDICUA!

GMFCOTMFD

Roland Emmerich, you douche. Why don't you and Michael Bay go CGI a heterosexual clone of yourselves and script a movie that doesn't totally suck ass. Independence Day, never saw it. The preview looked badass, but I never did get around to it. By the time the CGI got outdated, the movie all of a sudden wasn't as cool as everyone remembered it being in the theater. That may be where this discussion ends, some movies you see in the theater, other movies are actually made to make you think. However, that brings us to the catastrophe of global warming. Ah, now that has the potential for a movie; big ass tidal waves, more landmarks we know and love getting completely fucking fucked. Nope, not when this Gay Mother Fuckin' Clone of the Mother Fuckin' Day is at the helm. A cast of douchebags, the whole world is going to shit, and we're supposed to care about one dude and his son not getting along, son's academic troubles, etc.(yes, unfortunately, this shit reel I actually did see) Roland Emmerich's just getting started, with the utmost gayclonedouchebaggery no less. The phenomenon that surrounds the approach of December 21, 2012, a date that holds significance to more than one(not researching it, you d-bags can) ancient culture. Most notably, the Maya, a particularly jackal gathering of jungle Indians in South America. I'm not sure if Apocalypto was about the Maya, but damn, that movie is fuckin' tits mcgee. Start to watch this trailer, tell me it doesn't look badass. The trailer rolls on to resemble the two movies already mentioned in this jackalism which Mr. Emmerich sloppily shat into our cinemas. It vomits John Cusack onto the screen with kids and a car chase and some other fuckin' bullshit. If you want to shit your bricks, give this an open mind. I'm thinking we've got a Y2K on our hands and there's no cause to be alarmed, but I'm tired of blockbuster movies with potential completely Spud from 'Trainspotting' the bed. Don't take my word for it, ask these 'celebrity believers'.

All Points West

I'm not sure if anyone is interested in this. I know a few people who went last year and said it was a pretty good time. I am a fan of the band Tool not actual tools so I may have to make a Saturday appearance. Voicemail, I am looking in your direction (I know you dig Cool Kids and Tokyo Police Club). I haven't been to a concert in years and festivals suck 93.6% of the time, but I must say this is a pretty legit roster of bands. If anyone wants to make a Jackal field trip. PLompton B&B is open for biness.

Holla.

JMOTW: Hangover

I am assuming you all have seen the movie HANGOVER, if you haven't get your ass over the nearest theater TODAY! The Jackal bible has been written!

p.s. Noted side efects: Your kick ass party won't seem as over top after watching this movie....

GCOTD:

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4302758

I couldn't tell you what sucks more: celebrating American independence on British soil or assigning this freaking douchebag ambassador to the best county in the world. I'm just saying, KOTJ, how was the tea and crumpets? Did you fancy a cracker of a cricket match?

Happy Birthday America, I salute you by pounding 30 High Life's in Scaggsville. That's right, all around badassery. Shout out to one badass American who isn't afraid to fight.

Line Up Americans!

Bag me.