Jackal Call To Action: State of the Den Address

Jackals, bhmf had a great idea amidst his otherwise unintelligible banter. We need to assess the state of our Jackalness and address a series of priorities and jackalisms we intend to uphold. These truths are evident as fuck and we'll hold them shits accordingly. Don't sleep. Email your two cents to your ol' pal Boogers and we'll post it proper like the 100th post. You know the drill. UNF. In general, put clones on the lookout.

This has never been done before....

Shit is gonna be ridic tonight. Babyface + The Lynx + Boogers McRib + Scar Shoulders + Big Buck Hunters + a Fort Knox Five DJ = the end of U St Music Hall as we know it.

Awesome shall be gotten.

Clones shall be put to sleep.

UNF shall be thrown.

Mics shall be put back in their purses.

Yards shall be stomped.

Jackals shall HOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

KFTC: Ninjas that don't believe in evolution...

http://news.yahoo.com/video/world-15749633/gorilla-s-upright-walk-in-the-park-23997727

 

Seriously, keep fucking that chicken till the beak falls off...

Friday Hottie: Alena Seredova

Jackal Invention: Ganja Catapult

Thems some ingenious pot smugglers. I'm glad whoever put that video together had the presence of mind to set the ganja catapult to a traditional mariachi band. Don't sleep.

KFTC: bhmf

Thundersnow, thundervolcano, this be some biblical shit. Crackas that don't know(like bhmf) gonna git put asleep by Momma Nature, yo.

JOTD: Barack O-fucking-bama

My main jackal was cracking jokes, talkin' 'bout alternative energy solutions, flat out calling 'No Child Left Behind' some bullshit, calling for the end of big oil tax cuts. The only thing I didn't like about this speech was Barack acknowledging he can't do any awesome shit without the fucking "stick in the mud" politics of Washington. Part of me wishes he was the dictator Fox News claims he is.

Funny Broadcasting

In the Jonathans game last night this dude from Marquette gets out on the break and throws down a wicked dunk on Kemba Walker and the announcer goes "OOHHHHHH!!!!!! Hide your kids hide your mother hide your husbands, cause Darius Odom Johnson is dunkin on everybody out here!!!!!!"

KFTC: Taco Bell

Taco Bell’s “seasoned beef” contains other ingredients, including water, wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodrextrin, anti-dusting agent and modified corn starch.


Attorney Dee Miles said attorneys had Taco Bell’s “meat mixture” tested and found it contained less that 35 percent beef.

Carrying on the fine football traditions of Johnny U, and the like,

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2011/1/19/1943956/the-happy-football-life-of-will-hill

Enter this fine young, upstanding gentleman. Sure to make his parents and NFL fans everywhere proud. Brought to you, by way of me, by profootballtalk.com

R.I.P.: Land of the Free

That's a big mawlfucker and watching it lift off is rather impressive, but it would be nice if they could tell us what it's carrying into space and what they plan to learn while it's payload is in orbit.

Friday Hottie: Juliana Martins

Stay Classy, San Diego: Rush Limbaugh

NOOOOO! Not the Good News!

Oh yes. The good news. Quick, Fox News, drum up some catastrophe!

Put your money where your incoherent speaking mouth is.

$50. Your blessed futbol aggregate home and home score style. Terps and tech. You and me Tico. And pay up this time bitch.

JOTD: Boogers McRib

http://hypem.com/#!/item/17jns/Fort+Knox+Five+-+Fifth+of+Cool+J+Edit+

http://hypem.com/#!/item/1676d/Fort+Knox+Five+-+Revolution+DC+s+Finest+Remint+

Ninja knew what he was talking about with Fort Knox Five, that's for sure...

Jackal Coping Mechanisms: BBQ

An area larger than France and Germany combined was inundated with floods, so what did the Aussie's do for the flood victims? They had a fucking BBQ!

"People in Britain were watching this hour by hour, minute by minute, hoping and praying for you," said Hague at a barbecue with flood victims in the east coast city, Australia's third-largest.

Getting Awesome: Drunk Owl

Owls are so awesome. Owls that get awesome? I can't quantify the awesomeness.

We can't all be winners BMR......

.

....................just take this guy for example. I mean he has a Scottie dog on his freakin' hat!!!! And what the fuck is stitched on his socks? Oh lord, the free world collectively sighs. If only I could reincarnate TJ and let him go Jackal on his pathetic ass, boy would I feel better!

A Jackal Defeated: BMR

DC v. BC

Granted Canada is GAF. Granted the Caps are the shit. My allegiance has never once wavered. All I said meant was if I was to have to pick a team from the west to play the Capitals in the Cup it would be Vancouver. I gained an appreciation for them in the Olympics when Kelser was rocking the shit for the Mericans. SS and Boogers you all gots to chill.

Matt Hendricks is a crazy mother fucker. I fucking love this guy. Caps may have lost but worry not my friends...this is our year.

Go Seahawks. McNabb is going to be a great quarterback. Ally McBeal is a good show. New Radicals are a good band. BD2 be on some bullshit...

Go The Fuck Asleep

http://kenpom.com/team.php?team=Maryland

Yeah. #1 defense in the country. Terps are putting mother fuckers on LOCKDOWN this year. Don't fucking sleep.

On Metro.

DRRRRRROOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDD!!!!!!!!

Friday Hottie: A Dedication to Tico the Loco

Jackie Guerrido, partly awesome with a chance of enormous titties...

 

She puts the "UH!" in Telemundo.

Baby girl got some off-to-the-side-ass nipples, but I'd get all kinds of involved wit 'em. Check back with me in the year 2020...

And now a Jackals Den first, something Tico can actually understand:

Good morning, Spanish-speaking America, with Jackie Guerrido's Cooter

What up, ACC?

Good thing they don't have to play these clones every night, but ACC take notice. Terps might run some ball on y'all. Blacksburg, I'm looking in your clone ass direction. How do you graduate sexual deviants with a loose to 3rd grade grasp of the English language?


Tonight had all the makings for some jackal juxtaposition, but the Caps are playing like they were cloned during their brief stay in Shittsburgh.

Clearly, these were the types of bitches Tom was talkin' bout.

KFTC: Global Warming Skeptics

You're right. This is totally normal.

Stories of Jackaldom: Bulletproof Italian

Darco Sangermano is one lucky fucking jackal. After getting awesome with his lady friend on New Year's Eve, main man took a .22 to the dome piece. It wasn't a turf war, but random gunfire meant to ring in the new year, clearly not intended to get lodged behind a jackals ocular caverns. Removing the bullet didn't take surgery, though, just a good old fashioned Gesundheit.

Jackal for LIFE: Google

I love Google and not bc you give me tities at random times of the day when my coworker is not in the office...it's because you tell me stuff like this

p.s. Ajax: FUCK YOU

GCOTD: Tom DeLay

What a stupid fag.

Just Another Day on the Farm.........

.........and this cow is fucking pissed off! Well I don't blame the damn thing for being pissed. Being a cow would suck, unless of course you had the good fortune to be born a Hindu cow.

But actually, no wait, fuck it. I say if it looks like a sacred cow then it is best to be on the safe side and kill the damn thing. Kill it jackals, kill it dead.

Friday Hottie: Vanessa Marcil

Last I checked, it's fuckin' Friday. Last Friday was New Year's Eve, but that's no excuse. I promise to not sleep on Friday Hotties ever again. Happy to you, Jackals. Fuck yo shit.

This lucky little fucker's gonna kick his own balls when he grows up...