Wow: Sucks to Be That Guy

A hapless state information-technology worker who usually joined his office lottery pool took a pass last week -- only to learn that seven positive-thinking pals nailed a whopping $319 million Mega Millions jackpot, said a deli owner who knows the winners.

"The word is that when they were going around the office asking who wanted in on the pool, one guy said no, that he wasn't feeling lucky,"

Cook said the geek squad came in for lunch daily -- but haven't been seen since beating the one-in-176-million odds in Friday's drawing. Customers who know the winners told her they weren't planning to return to their jobs -- except to pass along unfinished business to colleagues.

KFTC, New York Post, as if the poor fucker didn't already feel like dying.

Boogers' Wide World of Sports

Stop me if I'm reading too much into this, but how can this go on peacefully on one side of the world, while this goes on on the other? 'Merica got itself some issues.

WTF?: 2 Years in a Chair Guy

One officer said it was the worst thing he ever responded to. And most said the worst part of all was the smell. Ironically the landlord says the man in the chair rented from her before and used to be a vital active person.


Police said the man's skin had become attached to the fabric of the chair after he sat in it for two years. Authorities said he was sitting in his own feces and urine and maggots were visible.


Shockingly, two other able-bodied people lived there---another man, who had a separate bedroom, and the girlfriend of the man who was stuck in the chair. Officials say the girlfriend served food to him, since he never got up.

In other news, this Colombian football fan's friends are fucking nuts. If y'all jackals get a hold of my corpse, march that beast into M&T Bank vs. the Steelers on Monday night. The runner up would be getting cremated and having my ashes scattered all over the Pittsburgh bench.

JOTD: Mike Krzyzewski

You might hate Duke, and who doesn't love hating your arch-rival.
But you have to tip your hat to Kryzewski (what a last name).

The guy is a top 10 coach of College Basketball and he is a great person. "Competitive Hate? That's good, I am fine with that" <- I like that, let's see who is last standing. GO TECH, FUCK DUKE...bring it!

He is a true Jackal.

Hottie vs. Skank: A Jackal Clarification

Allow me to attempt to clarify the Friday hottie criticism. There are many times that as a married man I am forced to do things I don't want to do, but that said, marriage is the shit. However, don't get it twisted I can appreciate a skeeza or a hottie with the best of them.

As far as Friday hotties, I expect to see some person that is hot and hopefully not fully dressed, but it is easy to get half naked pics of skanks. Finding half naked pics of Jessica Alba takes a bit more research. (Equally easy actually) Like actresses, news anchors, etc. Fun for me and good for the Den to complete the archive. If I wanted to see skanks I would just google skanks and get this:



But if I want Friday hottie, then I would watch some tv show, movie, news, etc. See someone and think, hmmm wonder if she has some hot picture on the internets for my jackals and I to enjoy.

Like this:



Get it?!

Europe: Fuck Yeah

Fuck yeah.

Apples to Oranges: Crosby vs. Ovechkin

So this fag hurts his head and protests the regular season, sits out almost three months, cloning it up. The Caps practically beg Ovie to rest and what does he do? Sits out two games only to go right back the next week. Ovie will celebrate the same for a teammate's goal in the first period as he will his own overtime winner. History will decide who was better, but let's start by getting Ovie the Stanley Cup.

Meanwhile, you've got the Iranian government is disseminating the notion that the end times are upon us and we should be on the lookout for our god of choice, the "anti Christ" and other apocalyptic role players. I just hope those assholes don't interrupt the hockey.

Funny Shit: D'backs' Bullpen Catcher

Hysterical. This guy is like BD2x but with more walk to his talk. Give this puppy a read, good ish.

Surprise Cockbags!!!!! GO........A........SLEEP.

Holy Shit balls! Momo made you homos look like Tony Romo.

Surprise cockbags!...Victory Blouses.



By the way, I made the mistake of passing by Greener and Fatass this morning on ESPN. They referred to their brackets as their "Sheets of Integrity." Quite possibly the lamest shit I have ever heard. Mine is fucked now because I had Duck (my new name for the Blue Clones) going to the final four. It was a serious error in judgement that will never happen again. I place myself at the mercy of the Den for such a gross misjudgement of all that is jackal. Fuck Duke. 'Merica.


PS - I just watched CNN (Clearly not News) and they keep showing arab nations with people saying " Allah Lakbah" "God is great" and then some shit blows up. I am not a bigot and I do not judge others religions (well maybe the second part) but Islam needs to check itself before it wriggitywrecks itself. Jesus I am glad I am 'Merican. Obama is sort of being a pussy about all of this. Can you please tell us what the hell is going on over there and stop being all Michael Biehn in Navy S.E.A.L.S. about everything?!? Frenchys taking over? Troops on the ground? Gadhafi's head on a spike? Something. Don't go all Bush "evildoers" or anything just some details... shit. We gonna go over there and blow some shit up and then get highed up at some brothel. Or something of the sort. Act like you got a pair. Fucking Ivy leaguers. His time is limited I am afraid...

Friday Hottie: Rhian Sugden