Tell It Like It Is: Bleacher Report

Do your thing,Bleacher Report. The Ravens' rookies make up more than 20% of their Most Influential AFC Rookies list and two of them PLAY THE SAME POSITION!

Do not sleep.

Wow.: JaMarcus Russell

Hang on a second, you're attempting to salvage the NFL's biggest trainwreck career and you did what? KFTC, sir. What's up wit' da Purple Drank, you say? Let ol' Boogas get yo learn on. "Just Slow Your Roll".

Friday Hottie: Joelle Kayembe

Jackals Be Sleepin': 2010 Edition

BMR is holding shit down. Just like last year calling jackals out from left to right. Just blogging by himself. It kind of sucks. Montreal is kind of close. You guys got nothing?

Karma is a Bitch: Boogers McRib

So the hot chick I called out in the Den yesterday gave your boy BMR some Dap this morning...

"By the way, you should be an AP(associate producer) if you are doing all this! Or at least getting AP credit on some of these shows..."

 and now I feel pretty shitty. Actually, that McRib photo just about sums it up.

Karma is a Bitch: Hot Chick Who Makes Me Do Her Work

Dare you go, hot chick who makes me do her work! Do you have any idera how fruckin' busy I ram?!!? So (one of) the girl(s) that makes me do all her work was just getting railed by her boss about how she isn't doing her job, which is very similar to what I was saying last week. It felt awesome to hear him bitch her out for like twelve minutes within ear shot of 15 co-workers.

P.S. The man who ended Baltimore's consecutive games without a 100-yard rusher streak has been arrested. No karma to thank for that one, just good ol' fashioned Bengals' character issues. And the Steelers' offensive line that was already patchwork, has lost a big piece. Apparently, the ex-Cowboy and walking penalty flag Flozell(with a really fucking stupid name) Adams is being looked at. Ravens faithful could try to script a better offseason, but they would need Michael Bay's help.

KFTC: Michael Vick

Well well well, Mr. Vick. Good to know you're still dumb as fuck. I was calling for my Dirty Birds to scoop you up last year and I guarantee if you were a Raven, you wouldn't be under investigation. AGAIN. You dumb fuckin' prick. Goodell says it appears to have nothing to do with you, but the fact that your name is coming up in the same sentence as 'gun' is not a good thing. We have a saying here in the Den, although ScarShoulders version of it is really fucking gay, but it's called 'Keep Fuckin' That Chicken'. Notice it's 'fuckin' that chicken', not 'put this chicken into a ring with that chicken and see which one dies'.

Oh yeah, way to make the five worst backup QBs in the league list.

KFTC: Maradona's barber

"Now you see, when the goalie reaches up to make the save, punch that shit with your fist. No one will know. If they start asking you questions and shit about rules, tell them it was God's hand."

Friday Hottie: Emmanuelle Chriqui

I'm about as hungover as a bitch.

Happy Friday, gentlemen. Here's one reason to look forward to Montreal, that's where this piece of "hey now" was born.

Now, go get yourself awesome tonight, ya hear?

GCOTD: VUVUZELA master

You VUVUZELA master, you don't drink, you don't smoke, you VUVUzela the SHIT out of your plastic pipe all night long...

All night long...all night...all night....ALLL NNIIIGHHHT LONG....all night long

You vuvuzela on defense and on offense, when you score and when you miss, when you eat and when you piss...

oh you vuvuzuela master EAT some pussy or SUCK some DICK, whatever you do JUST STOP BLOWING AIR THROUGH YOUR PLASTIC AIR PIPE

STUPID MOTHERFUCKER



p.s. Yes those are bacon bras...yes indeed