Damn skippy!

Nuthin' but love headed the Garden State's way. They've abducted too many jackals. We're stretched as thin as Lindsay Caldwell up in this muthafucka'. 

The main thing, BD, my priority up in this bitch is to keep the Genesis aflame. Remember ninjas with the Italian icies, ninja? Remember stick ball? Remember knockin' ninjas out tha' box? These fools are narcoleptic, fallin' asleep at the wheel. Ninjas be like Sunny Bono on a set of Rossignols. I'm talking about apples and the proximity to the tree from whence they fell. I'm talking about pods, in which multiple peas thrive in communal harmony. Ninja, I am speaking about cloth and the cuts made from that cloth, ninja? They're the SAME CLOTH!!!

Boog and Ball DEEP Show, ALL DAY... Please balleeeve meah!

Boog, I want you to know that I am reading your posts. You, like me, may get discouraged when you come in to see "0 Comments" on the bottom of your posts that you put out there for all to enjoy. Sometimes I may not comment. It's just that I know it is just you and me holdin' shit down around here. So when you pop in the Den and see "0 Comments" on your posts that you put your hard work and thought into, it isn't that I am not present or just not replying like the rest of these thankless bastards. I just want you to know I got love for ya and your comments on life in general. Keep doing yo thing....Hold it down Blood Jackal.

JOTD: -7 through 16 holes, I don't care if you don't golf, shit is Jackal

I hate it when a team manages a dynasty, is the favorite or spends/makes astronomical amounts of money, but you're a douchebag if you don't comprehend the dominance of Teegro. I'll root for the field, but dude is jackal with a 4 Iron. Golf is fucking nuts, because you're your own opponent. You have a caddy, but adjustments, club selection, judging the wind, all of these must be made by the golfer. As far as competition on a golf course, this dude is Jackal to the bone. I can't speak for his personal life, I've never known him to be one to get awesome. I can say, without a doubt that my dog would fuck this dog up.

In the personal life makes Tiger a Jackal column, I submit his fine ass Swedish wife:

Or whatever kind of Scandinavian he managed to wrangle. It is a shame he talked her into squeezin' puppies out of there, but oh well. Can we have a simultaneous Gay Clone/Jackal of the Day? If we, do, I submit Tiger Woods as the penultimate Jackal/Gay Clone.

Jackalslist.org Ball DEEP is selling his whip

If you know anyone that needs a new set of wheels, tell em to buy Ball Deep's Pu$%y-wagon:

http://newjersey.craigslist.org/cto/1284678278.html

$500 off if you are a jackal, or if your name is Steven.

Friday Hottie: Megan Good/Odette Yustman

One of the many reasons why I have watched Stomp the Yard 5 million times: Megan Good is way hot. (I am not sure why she always does the eyebrow face though.) I attempted to watch The Unborn the other night...not exactly sure why. I was able to stomach about 33 seconds before I realized it was the worst movie ever made. But scrolled through the DVD just to get a few more glances at the lovely Megan and leading role Odette Yustman. Delicious...

GCOTD: Ben Affleck

I just watched Bigger, Faster, Stronger last night. I highly recommend my Jackals to check this joint out. Very funny and very good. Point/counter point on the whole Roids in America craze.

As a bonus it reminded me of this classic clip of Ben Affleck losing his shit in a big way from that old HBO family special. Too freaking funny. Sort of like a PG -13 version of the Jesse Spano, "I'm So Excited" saved by the bell meltdown. Enjoy.

Short changed...

Pardon me, suh, but could you spare some more details about your Big Fat Greek Vacation? I can only fantasize about the luxuries you and your Mrs. are "dabbling" in. I'm drawing out of my savings to pay my rent, chasing down $800 because it makes or breaks(right now it's breaking) my summer, working part time when I get a day off, only guy in my office not taking a vacation this summer(in-fucking-cluding interns! hot and unattractive alike), so your post was effortless, not funny, not "worldly", essentially all it accomplished was displacing my previous, funnier, Den-rejuvenating post. So thanks for that. Way to contribute fodder. P.S. get the Original BD, Rusty T., whatever his fuckin' name is on the list of contributors. He's putting in work. I'm really depressed by the amount of fantasy rosters he has, but I think he might have earned some posting rights. Him and Tico should do a tandem! SS, go fuck yourself!

Intercontinental Burn

I'm in Greece and drinking.

You all are at work.

SS > Everyone

Suck it.

Did you guys notice we broke 300 posts?

Probably not, because 70% of you are gayer than this commercial. I'm not sure what the fucking score is, but that commercial is GAF, fantasy football is GAF. Why would you want anything at stake besides YOUR football team's record on Sunday? I know exactly what you're thinking, "But, BMR, there's a cash prize!" I could give a fuck about a cash prize. Fantasy leagues should start up in November, when half the teams' fans realize they aren't contending. Stats don't win football games and when I see a half hour show discussing "fantasy football" I get really frickin' pissed. Apparently not as pissed as Ball Deep gets at y'all skrimps, though. So help me god if one of you fucks asks me to join your fantasy league. The day I accept your offer, I will also do the following:

figure out who Taylor Swift is and buy her record
open a MySpace account
watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy
watch a Harry Potter movie
open a Facebook account
stop finding cougars attractive
drink cqq99 under the table
tweet
say goodbye to sensi-Boogers McRib
apologize to FetusFace for calling him out repeatedly
assist FetusFace in being "deflowered"
consider a vote for Sarah Palin in 2012
get ripped off by the Melting Pot restaurant
drink a Bud Light Lime
play Flip Cup
enter a nude wheel barrow race in Dupont Circle
many other things I have absolutely no intention of doing...

Fantasy Football, go to fuckin' sleep!

Netflix this joint if you haven't already...

I tried my god damnedest to find a picture of FetusFace's glorious mug, but I think that d-bag's shi-grin sums it up pretty well. If you would like some FF-image related humor, check out the Google Image results when you search "his" name. Hilarious. Let's just say his first name trips more than a few hits for a make or model of CLONE. I'd just like to say you guys are doing your best Dirk Diggler and essentially snubbing Jack Horner for your buddy, Todd Parker, because it's all karate moves and meth for you. That's cool. I want to have the Den to fall back on when I'm having an unjackal day/week. I'm not so quick to

...so to speak. It probably helps that I'm the only one who understands my jibberposts anyway, but I know I want to drop some knowledge on these fools on occasion. My Dirty Birds are fixing to make a run at the AFC North and in essence, the NFL on the whole. I know the Jackals are going to come around. At the least, whoever intends to get awesome for several months preceding VM's nuptials. I still think summer is a hell of a time for jackalness, not sure why attendence is tapering off. Besides, work appears like it will be slow for at least another week or two. A Jackals Day In Court is a post that absolutely needs to grace this beautiful hag.