Netflix this joint if you haven't already...

I tried my god damnedest to find a picture of FetusFace's glorious mug, but I think that d-bag's shi-grin sums it up pretty well. If you would like some FF-image related humor, check out the Google Image results when you search "his" name. Hilarious. Let's just say his first name trips more than a few hits for a make or model of CLONE. I'd just like to say you guys are doing your best Dirk Diggler and essentially snubbing Jack Horner for your buddy, Todd Parker, because it's all karate moves and meth for you. That's cool. I want to have the Den to fall back on when I'm having an unjackal day/week. I'm not so quick to

...so to speak. It probably helps that I'm the only one who understands my jibberposts anyway, but I know I want to drop some knowledge on these fools on occasion. My Dirty Birds are fixing to make a run at the AFC North and in essence, the NFL on the whole. I know the Jackals are going to come around. At the least, whoever intends to get awesome for several months preceding VM's nuptials. I still think summer is a hell of a time for jackalness, not sure why attendence is tapering off. Besides, work appears like it will be slow for at least another week or two. A Jackals Day In Court is a post that absolutely needs to grace this beautiful hag.

What's that? Jackals den back to eating a dick?

What's that?  The Den eats a fatty?  OK well fuck it. I have tried and tried to increase readership of this piece of shit, but it appears it is destined for failure.  Good luck jackals.  This is Ball Deep signing off.  Let me know when you grow a pair and decide to contribute to this shit.   A jackal cannot survive on his own entertainment.  As much as I love the den I feel that I and a few others are doing alot more giving than taking.  So this is my official goodbye.  See you in hell.  

Bitches.

European Jackalcation: Saturday Updates

From SS:

The party has entered a dark zone where people have had too much to drink and are flipping over furniture.  we may be entering a bat country. stay alert.

Jul 24 1:24am

From SS:

Wheres my jackals at? We just took close to a grand off the craps table on my roll and need to turn it into drinks before we gamble it  away...

Jul 25 1:34am

From SS:

Breakfast beer.  On fire.

Jul 25 9:08am

PS - Not sure who this dude is in the picture, but I am certain SS will run into at least 3 people that look exactly like him.

Oh, Fani...

I'm going to take this bitch to court like Greenberg & Bederman. I'm hoping she doesn't strike back with Ryan Saiontz or some bullshit. We going to school like Ivan Drago and Apollo Creed, only in my version, the American fucks some shit up. I can't wait to tell the judge how she recommended I heat up my bath water on the stove. Or how I only had heat and hot water because my boy Miller was cool enough to wait for the guy to come turn it on. I hope my judge is a huge cunt like Judge Judy or maybe more of a Wopner. Either way, BMR is gettin' his collect on. And yes, we'll be near the, uh--some burgers, some beers, a few laughs. Our fucking troubles are over, Dude.

European Jackalcation: Live Update

From SS:

Out of work. Arm on cooler. Awesomeness about to be gotten.

10:47am

Bad ass Jackal: Kevin Barnes

Good news is official today for the Skins.

Courtesy Redskins.com:

The Redskins have signed rookie cornerback Kevin Barnes, the team announced
on Thursday. Barnes, a University of Maryland product, was the
Redskins’ third-round selection (80th overall) in the 2009 NFL Draft.
The
6-0, 187-pounder was the highest selection Washington has used on a cornerback
since the team drafted Carlos Rogers with the ninth overall pick in 2005
At
Maryland, Barnes started all 20 games the last two seasons and recorded 85
tackles, including 5.5 for a loss, six interceptions, two forced fumbles and 14
passes defended.

Oh, and if that does nothing for you there is this:

Hooowwwwwwwwlllllllllll

Not now Chief, I'm in the fucking zone!

We all knew this day would come eventually, the day I left the shackles of the real world for two weeks of vacation in the Greek Islands. But what will come of the Den? Will it survive?

My main Ninjas BD and BMR have been holding shit down the last few weeks. My own Jackaldom has been lacking as the corporate man has been holding me down. How can I fix this? What can I do? What can anyone do?

This is my promise. Tonight while getting awesome in Atlantic City I pledge to text BD and BMR an update for posting. While overseas I pledge to get online with my brother in laws computer and post on any and all Jackalisms. Can you imagine the number of Jackal statues I will purchase so close to the Jackals epicenter in Egypt? Epic it shall be.

So Jackals, I beg of you, do not let me come home to the harsh realities of the real world and a Den that is vacant and deceased. For the love of Anubis don't let that happen.

One.

Me and Boog = Schlek Brothers minus the Gay Clone outfits

Frank Schlek doing his best Jonathan Impression

The Schleck brothers (boog and I) overtake Armstrong (ya'll bitch asses)

"I'm very proud of myself -- I'm proud of my brother," Frank Schleck (BD) said. The Schlecks (boog and I) were the main attackers against Contador (Gay Clones) during the final two punishing climbs (posts), and at times took turns relaying each other or trying to shake the Spaniard (jackals not holding shit down).

"We bet everything -- make or break it," Frank Schleck (BD said) said." We deserved to win ... we attacked one after another. We countered well -- it was a good tactic."

Boog and I are holding this shit down like a motherfucka....once again.  Ya'lls is some scrimps.

JOTD: After the Fact

This is an obvious one, but check out this guy's quotes. He's jackal to the bone. I got all kinds of love for environmentalists, that's true. Got to hand to him for sticking with the wife who kind of looks like Linda Hamilton. Howl at a fallen jackal. He probably hung out with real jackals at some point.

"Because when they strike it can be that quick that if they're within range, you're dead, you're dead in your tracks. And his head weighs more than my body so it's WHACK!"

"I bled a lot. I got hit across the face. We couldn't film for seven days. I got hit, whacked, underwater, across the face. I finished the shot, got into the boat and blood started coming out. "

"I have no fear of losing my life - if I have to save a koala or a crocodile or a kangaroo or a snake, mate, I will save it. "(When that quote starts off, you're like, "goddamn, ninja" and then you're all "oh, that's, that's cool too")

"My field is with apex predators, hence your crocodiles, your snakes, your spiders. "