Friday Hottie: Vintage Chicks - Jenny McCarthy

I remember a time when Hollywood used to have a thing called hot chicks.  They didn't do anything except be hot.  Now we have all these broads trying to talk, act in movies, even provide opinions about things.  (excluding Megan Fox, she seems to understand that the less she says the better.)  

But, I have been racking my brain trying to think of someone to use as the Friday Hot chick, and I can't think of anyone current so I am going back to a simpler time when dumb hot chicks were just that dumb and hot.

I had this poster on my wall back in middle school.  Actually I had all four of these posters on my wall. 

Is it just me or is she a hotter version of someone we went to high school with? (This someone broke up with her to make out with Schubert's farm animals...rhymes with Mavisphere.) 

I have to say looking at these now she is not all that hot but I guess at 13 I would have had different standards.  Plus now she is married to Jim Carrey who is as unfunny as she is now un-hot. Getting old blows.

Boogers owned this on cassette...I'm just sayin'

How Much and How Much

How much would it take for you to get this tattoo ACTUALLY on your body??

How much would you pitch in to see a fellow Jackal get this tattoo??

Let the comments commence!!!!

HHHHHOOOOWWWWWLLLLL!

Do you guys think the White House is accepting applications for interns? Way to keep it jackal, Barack.

Think DC's Metro is fucked up? I can tell you that wreck made my commute to work a whole lot shittier. Fuck this guy and fuck the Red Line for sodomizing my mornings and nights.

This would be awesome....if BMore doesn't Fuck it up

Gratuitous Danica Patrick shot (Indy car racer...in case you live in a cave.)

Even if you don't know or care what Indy Racing is all about. 750hp race cars driving down the streets of the Inner Harbor would be awesome. Think Monte Carlo for the F1 racing series, but replace models and yachts with crackheads and Coupe deVilles. Let's hope Baltimore doesn't fuck this one up...


IRL Race in Streets of Baltimore

Fucking Conspiracy, Lebron and Nike GCOTW

This breaches the absurd, I really like the excuse.

Lebron, shat on, but Nike wipes it away

Intermediate Boogers McRibese

That was a nice warmup. Where were you when this was regulatin' bitches like the FCC?

God, I hope you stumbled upon this page by accident. Hopefully, you're a religious freak who is convinced that every contributor is an agent of Beezilbub himself.
(If you googled a search term and you foung the Jackals' Den, you're about to be UNF'd. Beezilbub is a reference to Lucifer, Satan, the Dark Prince, etc.)

On your way out, do me a solid and take the sandy rake out of your Virginia Baked Ham wallet.
(Do me a favor and pull the sandy lawn tool out of your va-jayjay)

100 mutha fuckin' jackalisms.
(100th post)

That calls for celebration.
(Let's get awesome)

Ol' Dirty Chinese Restaurant wouldn't believe it if you told him.
(The hip hop artist, Ol' Dirty Bastard would be impressed)

A lot of things have happened in this first week. We had jackal-on-jackal fecal toss, we saw Mancation relived in comic shorts, we pointed out a couple gay clones among us, that would have otherwise gone undetected.
(We posted a lot of things we shouldn't have, I could only list three subjects that our 100 posts could fall under)

Gay clones are like roaches in Northeast DC.
(There's a lot of them)

The weather is nice, so you throw on some flip-flops and walk the dog. Little do you know, on a hot summer night, they're scurrying across the sidewalk and you look like Fred Astaire shuffling and dancing around them. It's like, dude, all I want to do is walk my dog(be a jackal) and I keep having to watch my step and walk around roaches(look out for gay clones).
(I'm not parenthesizing an already parenthesized paragraph, or am I?)

Jackals are evolving. The Jackals Den is perpetuating their influence, thanks to the internets and wide world of webs.
(I had never heard "wide world of webs" before, give a jackal DAP)

As we commemorate this milestone, let's reflect upon the jackals that paved the way. For there will always be a yard to stomp. Skrimpture won't stop so long as the world is revolving. This aggression will not stand. This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.
(DON'T SLEEP!)

Happy Hunny, Jackals Den.
(Happy One Hundreth Post, Jackals' Den)

Here's to you sproutin' a couple little black curlies.
(Go fuck yourself)

Rock the Bells or APW: You decide

shitty hippies and wiggers, horrible noise, unintelligable vocals



shitty hippies and hipsters, horrible noise, unintelligable vocals



Actually Fuck It. All of these festivals lick balls. "I'm too ol' fo dis shit Riggs."

BBQ Recap (just for you Head)

I bought a bunch of food.

I cooked a bunch of food.

Boogs got a bunch of beer.

People came over and ate said food and drank a little beer.

The people in the pictures got awesome.

Everyone else had a gay clone excuse.

I woke up the next morning and made an epic journey to small town USA which I will recap later...

Gay Clone of the week: ESPNs My Wish - REACTION

SS a few comments on your post. I'm not putting comments just adding a new post because why the fuck not. No one reads this shit anymore anyway.

The Tour de France is badass. I an going to receive quite a bit of shit for this, but it really is amazing. If you can get past the outfits which are quite gay, and the fact that it is in France also gay, you will see after watching it for a bit that these guys are freaks of nature. Not sure if you have ridden a bike recently but that shit is hard especially up steep hills. I am tired after 20-30 miles and these guys go flat out for hundreds eventually thousands of miles. Wrecking and pushing each other the whole time.

Also, there is nothing funny about kids with cancer. That is some seriously fucked up shit. But quite Jackal to use such a sensitive topic to get your point across...which was the fact that ESPN does lick serious balls. Unless it is week 8 of the NFL season, you won't catch me wasting more than 10-12 minutes a year on that bullshit station. It is the CNN of sports. 24 hour coverage news is absurd, but 24 hour coverage of sports is just a waste.  The worst part is as much money as they have they still use the same bullshit formula with that annoying ass techno music during sportscenter and the shitty ass sets with shitty ass announcers (Erin Andrews and Wilbon excluded.)



 I mean seriously fuck Berman.  

ESPN licks banus and I like the Tour de France.  Yeah I said it.  Respect dat shit.

PS "try and not die falling asleep driving to work " such a good call I do that everyday. It's a miracle I'm alive.