JsOTD: SS & Myself

Self nomination time. No, we didn't take out a 5-year CD, but I dare say that we were at our ball-busting best yesterday.* It was like old times:

...It's 1998 and Head is at his house on a random weekday night. The phone rings...

[Shote Sleeves] Hey Head, can you teach me physics tonight?
[Head] Sure...

[ScarShoulders] Hey Head, what are you up to tonight?
[Head] I dunno...I think Shote Sleeves is coming over and wants me to teach him physics or something. You wanna come over?
[ScarShoulders] Sweet, sure!

...ScarShoulders is already there when ShoteSleeves arrives at Head's house...

[Shote Sleeves] Wait...what is ScarShoulders doing here? I thought you were going to teach me physics?

...30 minutes of hilarity ensues...

[Shote Sleeves] Fuck you guys, I hate you. I'm going home!

[Head/ScarShoulders] Wow, that was awesome. Want to watch some football or something?

Good Times.

*BMR, you still my Jackal - you be holding this place up almost all by your lonesome...

For all my real live 1997 OJs. Love ya'll ninjas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtube_gdata_player&v=W69SSLfRJho

JOTD: Walter Breuning, 114 year-old Jackal

Walter Breuning was a century old when he walked into a downtown Great Falls bank in the mid-1990s to take advantage of a promotion.

Five-year certificates of deposit were being offered at a special rate, and Breuning wanted to take advantage of the deal, according to former Great Falls resident Gavin Seeberger, now of Portland, Ore. His father is former Great Falls banker John Seeberger, a onetime Great Falls school board chairman.

The elder Seeberger and another bank representative politely told Breuning he might want to consider a two-year certificate of deposit instead.

"Mr. Breuning firmly declined and insisted on a five-year CD, saying that he would be there to collect it in person at maturity," Gavin Seeberger said.

Working Monday Is For Sucks

If Monday's got you down, take a moment to laugh your ass off. As outrageous as this scene is, the idea behind it is genius. Here's hoping I'm a dick.

Gut Punch: BMR

Yeah, I feel sheepish. But I also feel like Mark Sanchez cut up New England after not doing shit against Dmore. I'm also feeling like that short week in one of the toughest stretches in our schedule pretty much behind us. I thought McNabb needed some more time(having missed a lot of preseason), but apparently Baby Joey is the one that needs to work on communication with his receivers. I will chalk this up as a tough loss, but we have yet to play a game at home. Pittsburgh needed a special teams touchdown and 7 turnovers to pull out their 2nd win. Every asshole questioning our secondary can shut the fuck up now that Carson Palmer was kept out of the endzone. T-Large is still cloning it up. He texted me for no reason yesterday. No transcript available. Essentially, I came out on top when Revis got burned like a school child by Randy Moss. At that point I told T-Large that he, Rex Ryan and Revis all three need to stop talking. Sanchez proceeded to burn the Pats, but that validates my team. T-Large, do you follow me?

JOTD: CJ Brown

So I'm sitting here watching the Ralph Friedgen show and I stumble upon a Jackal of the Day in the most unlikely of places, a redshirt freshman who has played 4 college plays.

Rewind to last week's thrashing of Morgan State.

Play#1 QB run/pass option and he decides to run. Scrambles 12 yards around the left side of the line lowers his shoulder and runs over a DB.

Play #2 Uneventful handoff.

Play #3 Shotgun bad snap and the RB jumps on it and CJ doesn't. Kind of looks like he dogged it not diving on the ball.

Play #4 As told by the running back standing next to him in the shotgun. Calls out the cadence, says to his boy the RB "this might be interesting, I'm pretty sure I broke my collarbone". Dudes like "what?!?!" "hut hut!" take the snap and throws a perfect 12 yard out for a first down but the WR drops it.

So yeah. Dude broke his fucking collarbone on the first play and not only stayed in the game but stayed in the game made jokes about it and threw a perfect pass. If that ain't Jackal as fuck I don't know what is.

Friday Hottie: Collien Fernandes

 Goddamnit, those Black Eyed Peas got me so pissed, I had to go straight into the Friday Hottie. I'm throwing in some extra pics. Srta. Fernandes is quite nice.

Rot in Hell: Black Eyed Peas

For the love of all that is sacred, someone please stop this from happening. Only Texas would be dumb enough to pull this bullshit. Tom Petty, Prince, Paul McCartney, Black Eyed Peas? We're totally fucked as a nation. Y'all can tune into Puppy Bowl VII instead. That's pretty jackal. Puppy Bowl? Huh? Yeah.

Jackal Invention: Phototonic Chip

I couldn't resist the photographic implications on this post. This is some jackal ass shit. You know BMR be hatin' on that electricity, hypocritical as it may be while blogging, but this will apparently put the Den even easier to jackal it up in.

JOTD: Ray Lewis III

I feel bad for the school they dropped this mess on, but that's a hell of a day. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I suppose. For those of you too lazy for hyperlinks,


"He registered 206 yards and two TDs on punt returns, 101 on kickoff returns, 104 rushing, 27 receiving and 66 on passing, where he completed 6 of 6 attempts. The son of Baltimore Ravens LB Ray Lewis also had six tackles and a pass deflection."