Friday Hottie: Collien Fernandes

 Goddamnit, those Black Eyed Peas got me so pissed, I had to go straight into the Friday Hottie. I'm throwing in some extra pics. Srta. Fernandes is quite nice.

Rot in Hell: Black Eyed Peas

For the love of all that is sacred, someone please stop this from happening. Only Texas would be dumb enough to pull this bullshit. Tom Petty, Prince, Paul McCartney, Black Eyed Peas? We're totally fucked as a nation. Y'all can tune into Puppy Bowl VII instead. That's pretty jackal. Puppy Bowl? Huh? Yeah.

Jackal Invention: Phototonic Chip

I couldn't resist the photographic implications on this post. This is some jackal ass shit. You know BMR be hatin' on that electricity, hypocritical as it may be while blogging, but this will apparently put the Den even easier to jackal it up in.

JOTD: Ray Lewis III

I feel bad for the school they dropped this mess on, but that's a hell of a day. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I suppose. For those of you too lazy for hyperlinks,


"He registered 206 yards and two TDs on punt returns, 101 on kickoff returns, 104 rushing, 27 receiving and 66 on passing, where he completed 6 of 6 attempts. The son of Baltimore Ravens LB Ray Lewis also had six tackles and a pass deflection."

Defend This: Toy Store Jerkoff (literally)

Alright, Head. You and your legal savvy going to come to this guy's defense? Just kidding, they're not comparable, but they are both going to lose their job.

Go Fuck Yourself: Derek Fenton

This is far beyond Gay Clone of the Day. This guy is a fuckin' idiot, had a shitty job and now he's really fucked. Hey, Derek, I like my McDonald's 1/4 pounder without pickles alright? Just kidding, I don't eat at McDonald's. That midsection leads me to believe you do. Go Fuck Yourself!

GCOTD: T-Large

***CHAT TRANSCRIPT***

me: go ahead and change that away message (T-Large's Away Message: J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets!)

T Large: ugly game

me: whatever

it was beautiful

T Large: i think they will meet in the playoffs though

me: you got some work to do

T Large: i dont see too many teams beating either of them

10:39 AM me: sanchez is a douche

T Large: i also dont see how ravens fans think they were that much better than the jets

they both looked like shit

me: obviously you don't watch much football

T Large: ok

me: it's not ravens fans doing all the talking

T Large: so the ravens looked good?

10:40 AM me: it's sports writers

yeah

T Large: right

me: turnovers 3-1 Jets

and you lost

Ravens are nasty

10:41 AM T Large: didnt you get beat up by one of your own fans?

me: that's hilarious 

T Large: haha

10:42 AM me: go back and watch the game

look at our field position

T Large: i watched the game

me: and look at yours

then tell me why you lost

T Large: i know the jets sucked

me: or how the ravens looked "bad"

T Large: they sucked ass too

im not doing this anymore

me: aren't you from Jersey?

T Large: whatever

me: why don't you move back?

T Large: the ravens were spectacular

they were flawless

grade a

all the way

10:43 AM they need not improve

they are the best ever!

me: what's it like getting fired up for sports when you have no idea what you're watching

?

T Large: ha

me: talking a bunch of crap when you have no idea what you're talking about?

10:44 AM T Large: ok

you are a football mastermind

good for you

10:45 AM me: at least you have the yankees

in baseball you CAN go buy championships

not in the NFL though

T Large: and i am a good winner

i dont talks hit nonstop after my teams beat people

10:46 AM me: no you talk shit when you lose

that's worse

T Large: it was a good game

i said they would meet in the playoffs

because that means they are good

they both need to improve a lot though

10:47 AM they both played pretty poorly on offense

i dont see whay you are taking what i said way out of context

unless you just like fucking with me while im extremelyh hung over

Working Monday Is For Sucks When Your Boys Play On Monday Night Football

Goddamnit. I can't get anything done today. I just want to get awesome and listen to clone-ass ESPN reporters hype tonight's game some more. I really should have called out sick today.

KFTC: Sheyla Hershey

American dreams so rarely get to come true. All Sheyla Hershey ever wanted was some 'M Cup'-sized breasts.

Redskins 13, Cowboys 7

I don't watch much NFL these days, but I watched most of this one and damn if it wasn't crazy as shit - in particular, those two half-ending plays were absolutely ridiculous:

• Dallas runs an offensive play with four seconds left in the first half and everyone assumes it's going to be a Hail Mary. But instead, it winds up being a half-assed lateral and Tashard Choice fumbles as he tries to break a meaningless tackle, which is then returned for Washington's only TD of the game (and, eventually, the game-deciding points) with 00:00 on the clock.
• Dallas has the ball at the Washington 12 with 00:03 left in the game, down 13-7. Romo escapes from the pocket and flips the ball to a wide-open Roy Williams for what appeared to be the game-winning touchdown. But the officials had called a penalty (for a very obvious hold as it turned out) and, rather than losing, the Redskins won as the game ended on the offensive penalty.

Crazy. Congrats BD1 and BD2...

P.S. That call against Calvin Johnson's should-have-been game-winning catch today was atrocious...