Friday Hottie: Emmanuelle Chriqui

I'm about as hungover as a bitch.

Happy Friday, gentlemen. Here's one reason to look forward to Montreal, that's where this piece of "hey now" was born.

Now, go get yourself awesome tonight, ya hear?

GCOTD: VUVUZELA master

You VUVUZELA master, you don't drink, you don't smoke, you VUVUzela the SHIT out of your plastic pipe all night long...

All night long...all night...all night....ALLL NNIIIGHHHT LONG....all night long

You vuvuzela on defense and on offense, when you score and when you miss, when you eat and when you piss...

oh you vuvuzuela master EAT some pussy or SUCK some DICK, whatever you do JUST STOP BLOWING AIR THROUGH YOUR PLASTIC AIR PIPE

STUPID MOTHERFUCKER



p.s. Yes those are bacon bras...yes indeed

KFTC: Starbuck's-Drinking Intern

Internships are basically really long job applications, right? Aren't y'all full-time, broke ass students and shit? Why is my intern rolling in daily with a Starbuck's coffee? Is Starbuck's the most socially acceptable addiction for people that can't possibly afford it? KFTC, Starbuck's-Driniking Intern. You're not nearly as hot as Kyle's intern, otherwise I wouldn't be so judgmental.

JOTD: Landon Donovan

GO TO SLEEP!: France

There are cocks all over French soccer emblems. Coincidence?

I heard the coach they all quit on this week and refused to practice for uses astrology to pick his line ups. Time for these clone ass bitches to go to fucking asleep. South Africa, do your thang.

JOTD: Crazy Ass Ron Artest

You all know I don't fuck around with West Coast teams. Especially the Lakers. Fuck those Bammas. I was rooting for the Celtics the whole series. I was PISSED when Artest hit the series clinching three. That said... This crazy mother fucker is a breath of fresh fucking air. Is he batshit crazy? Hell yes. Is he a player who does as much bad as good at times? Yup. But last night he won a championship. He won Kobe his 5th ring. And he was damn honest about how crazy he was and thanked his psychiatrist over and over again for chilling him the fuck out. That's an important thing for people and athletes to hear. That it's ok to be fucked in the head and get help. Watch the whole clip above. It's well worth it. The real gem comes about 8 minutes 30 seconds in when he talks about the big three he hit at the end of the game. Reminds a Jackal of the time when his own father drew up a play in a playoff game for Head and I had to wave that shit off and just jack a game winning three as they both yelled "nooooo". Much love for this crazy fucker Ron Artest for bringing back memories of Jackals pasts.

WTF?: What's in the box?

Whoa, final scene of 'Seven' times 40 or 60?

GCOTD: France

Dare you go, France! Do you have any idera how fruckin' busy I ram? Handballin' ass bitches. Fluff your pillow. Skkkrrriiiimp!

Jackals Be Sleepin'

Sock chewin' ass ninjas. "Oh, let's just go to work, BMR will post something funny for us to read. Is that Taylor Swift on that Sony camera commercial? She's fuckin' hot!" 

So to all you "jackals" that own cats, go cuddle up with them shits and go asleep. 

Jackal Observation: Taylor Swift, not hot

I'm just tired of companies deciding who I think is attractive. I know I'm getting the "Boogers, you creep, she's a high school kid," but no, several media outlets and corporations have pre-determined the attractiveness or unattractiveness of this no-talent ass clown and I'm not going to take it any more. Taylor Swift, you's busted.

Not only is she not hot, I will bet my right ball she can't play guitar, much less a 12-string! KFTC, Ms. Swift.