GCOTD: My Roommate

ACTUAL CONVERSATION:(obviously not)

BMR: Yo, what up, bitch?

Roomie: Ain't shit, ninja. Chillin'.

BMR: Aight, aight. Check it. BMR's office is closing at 1 and a jackal is trying to get awesome. I told my people it would be cool if they came over.

Roomie: Well, shit, BMR, I don't know. I was going to clean the house and go to work on Saturday on a holiday weekend and not, you know, interact with anyone in a social context. Would it be cool if you just went to bed at ten like I do and we could both be miserable and not have fun? Ever?

BMR: Pfft. How about this? I'll clean the bathrooms and pretend right now like we won't come back and be loud after the bars close.

Roomie: Deal.

Guess Who's Back?

Jackal OTA Wednesday June 9

Sonar

Talib Kweli and High Tek are Reflection Eternal

featuring some dudes babyface knows Soul Cannon

Memorial Day Weekend Hottie: Veronique De Kock

So laugh it up, Jackals. Her last name means 'of penis'. Big deal. I'm sure she has an excellent sense of humor and a good grasp of mathematics. Personally, I think a pelt bikini is about as fucking jackal as womens' attire can get. Your boy BMR is gonna be having a cold one by the time you saps are getting back from lunch(office closing early to recognize Memorial Day). This hottie is going out to the men and women in uniform. May they liberate some hot bitches who are forced to wear burkas. I saw one the other day at the zoo. No joke, the zoo. She couldn't even show her eyes. And her douchebag husband was just chillin'. Shirt untucked. Hadn't shaved in a while. Just looking like a fucking douchebag who won't let his wife out of her black outfit. Fuck that guy. America. Fuck yeah.

You Don't Say...: Oilocalypse 2010

Good news was getting old. Fuck.

GCOTD: Chris Chike

KFTC: DRUDGE REPORT

What the fuck is Matt Drudge implying with this quote/photograph? Obama's finger. 'Plug' 'Hole' and 'Daddy' stretched across his "news" page in a "headline". What the fuck is there a close up of his finger for? I guess the more important question is why Boogers checks in with this prick and his ridiculousness in the first place. I fucking hate clones.

F(ormer)JOTD:

Former Jackal behaving NFL star has turned in his mullet for clone behavior.

It appears he got a case of the clones by getting married and decided to cut his mullet and be generally less awesome. This is not the first time we have seen this. KOTJ, Droppa Deuce, Shote Sleeves (married to his job) and Aldente Schwanz or whatever the fuck his name is (married to being gay) have all suffered a similar fate. (DD is making a comeback though by participating in the Montreal awesomeness this summer although his absence in the Den since inception is lamentable.)

Let's hope this systemic problem ends here.

JOTD: Harvey Keitel

Toby? Toby. Toby Wong? Fucking Charlie Chan.

GCOTD: Pat Roberts

"He needs to take a Valium before he comes in and talks to Republicans," Sen.Pat Roberts, R-Kan., told reporters. "He's pretty thin-skinned."

Sen. Roberts, any advice for the president that doesn't involve substance abuse? KFTC, Republican party.

Joint JsOTD: James Carville and Joe McGinnis

This guy is keeping it jackal. Get all up in that Palin family. You know the older one is pretty easy and doesn't like condoms. This guy is calling out Obama and scowling. Check out how pissed he gets at our real live jackal, Barack. The be-all-end-all Jackal of the Day? You decide.