Friday, January 8, 2010

BD2...






As far as bloggers go, you're kind of a crackhead. It's cool. Some crackheads are really nice and you give them whatever change you have in your pocket, but do your best to not touch their skin for too long in the handoff.



It's kind of like being a midget and trying to play basketball. Sure you have a ball, but you better damn sure find a hoop that isn't ten feet tall or you'll just look hilarious.


I'm not so sure about satellite blogs and the like, but I do know one thing I love about the Den. Gentlemen, I give you the Friday Hottie for Week 1 of the 2010 Jackals Den season: Cheryl Cole




BallDEEPdamus: Snyder will continue to ruin the Redskins


OK so I have had a few days to process the Shanahan hiring. At first I was cautiously optimistic, but now I am starting to realize that this is merely more of the same piss poor decision making that makes Dan Snyder so hateable. (not a word but whatever.)

Do you know what the success rate of returning retired coaches is? Me neither, but something tells me it isn't great. You could probably find the answer here if you cared enough....I don't. Not to mention he has guaranteed money which saps motivation from young people with high aspirations. Old ass muthafuckas that have already done everything will be even less motivated.

Also concerning is the fact that because this season was so awful, there is a chance we might actually get one of the big names in the draft. This means that you can expect to see Bradford or McCoy (both now damaged goods after yesterday
) with guaranteed contracts and franchise QB tags before they even take a snap. I am not saying Campbell is the answer, he is a mid-level QB that would be much better on a team like Carolina for deep routes and shotgun offenses. Not to mention he has been fucked with so bad that he has no shot at success in DC. I am just saying there is a ten year issue which has been neglected for more “sensational” moves during the offseason., most notably ignoring the offensive line which is decrepit to be generous. If they use the pick to get a badass center or tackle and build around, that would be the move in my eyes.

I am not saying he will not have success. I am just saying it doesn't look good if you look at the history. Not to mention there are missteps that are here for part of his tenure that he is stuck with....Haynesworth and Hall most notably. If he can actually get Haynesworth’ s fat ass to play a whole game and Hall to stop acting jackal on the field trying to fight everyone (which I love) he might make an impact but we will see come next September. Orakpo seems to be the real deal and if they can get a good free safety they can take Landry and put him where he belongs fucking scrimps up as strong safety. He obviously sucks at coverage. Thomas and Kelly actually looked like they may start to be able to play football and Fred Davis is now becoming a badass. I love Cooley too but he is older and damaged goods now.

So in summary, I am a fan through and through and if we are once again relegated to the bottom of the NFC East I will still wear my colors with pride, and if Shanahan proves to be the Badassmuthafucka Skins fans think he is going to be…even better. But that still doesn’t change the fact that the unholy trinity of shitty owners will continue to suck the life out of three teams in the NFL (Oakland, Redskins, and Dallas (FUCK DALLAS).

Do not sleep Dan Snyder. Don’t you dare fucking sleep. You may have quieted the masses for now, but you’re track record of missed playoffs seasons are wearing thin on a jackal. Bring me Lombardi or bring me death.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Twenty-Dime to infinninn....A NEW DAWN

As with any great artist, often times a side project is required to truly expose their artistry. I am not leaving the Jackals Den, merely expanding its reach to a new audience... I encourage all my jackals to view, read, laugh, cry and most of all get awesome on the next chapter of Ball DEEP.

A New era for the Jackals.

Guest posters wanted.

Viva La Revolucion!

2010. Eyes wide open. The year of the big Jackal payback. DON'T SLEEP!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

JOTD: 'Merican Hockey Teams

This is a 17 year old jackal. He put Canadia to sleep with a wicked shot in 4 on 4 "Sudden Death" Overtime about 5 minutes ago. The video isn't up on YouTube yet, but look for it, the goal was sicker than a softcore porn scene with Lori Petty. USA wins the Gold Medal game in the Under 20 Hockey World Championships. In this game, there was a player on each team(from each country) named Bourque. This was the civil war of hockey. Canadia has won the last 5 gold medals. I guess they can go the next few months suckin' on maple syrup. One cool thing Canadia did during this broadcast was show this commercial. I'm pretty sure it uses "awesomeness" in context. If it were only true...

This is Alex Ovechkin. He's a badass sombitch. Caps win 4-2.


Canadia, send more drunk, titty paintin' sluts to the U.S. and less fags like Sidney Crosby. New England Patriot fans, you're the closest to Canadians we Americans have, besides Minnesotans.

SHOCKER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skins fans be creepin on the email and cutting Jackals with Liquid Swords for tongues out of the discussion. Could 2010 be the dreaded year of the clone? DD, BD2, Pontius, Voicemail, I got my eyes laser focused on your bitch asses...

From: Droppa Duece Date: Tue, Jan 5, 2010 at 8:57 PM
"This has to have been the most interesting year the Redskins have had- ever. Their extraordinary failures this season might have made for bad football, but it made for great theater.
When does baseball start up again?
D"

On Jan 5, 2010, at 8:48 PM, Ball Deep wrote:
http://blogs.nfl.com/2010/01/05/shanahan-will-receive-five-year-deal-to-coach-redskins/

Hockey: Whitest sport ever


Rap rock? Really? I am trying my best to cover up the z28 driving mullet wearin', molson original drinkin', truth about hockey fans but this doesn't make it any easier. I will still be watching tonight however, GO CAPS!!

The Origin, Evolution, and Death of an Internet Phenomenon

Origin
During halftime of the Fiesta Bowl last night, a few people on the internet noticed this peculiarly unenthusiastic girl manning the cowbell of the Boise State band:


Evolution
Hilarious, right? Well before the game had even ended people were Photoshopping her, seeking out images of her in happier times, creating Facebook fan pages devoted to her, and wondering "Why is she so sad?" But then came...

Death
That's right:

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

NYE: Break Yo' Self, Jackals Don't Sleep


Working is Un'Merican



With new management comes new bullshit. This job used to rule, but a ominous cloud of actual work has found its way in Ball DEEP's horizon. more deadlines, more responsibility, more politics, more bullshit to swallow, no raise, no promotion....fuck you very much.