Gay Clone of the Century: Dan fucking Snyder

Seriously fuck this guy.  Fuck 'em.  You are the reason that my team sucks.  In the words of Shitseppi Jones "Ya fucking prick."  Losing to the fucking Detroit Lions?  Really??  Do you realize what havoc you have unleashed on my beloved Redskins since you got here?  Now we are going to fire everyone and get a whole bunch of other shitheads that don't know what the fuck is going and the whole thing will start over again.  Because you and you fuckbuddy Vinnie Cerrato are two busy blowing each other and Tom Cruise that you don't know shit about making a good football team and you will continue to make the same mistakes.  

I fucking hate you Dan Synder.  I hope you get the gout. GO the FUCK ASLEEP!  Please for the sake of everything good and right...go work for Dallas.  They like assholes there.  Or work for NY, douchebaggery runs rampant there.  Get the fuck out of DC.  Let some other city feel your wrath.  You have unleashed enough poison in DC.  

If I see you in person I will light your ass up with more UNF than the press is going to give Jim Zorn and Campbell combined over the entire rest of the season. That is if you don't fire him and get Eric Mangini as the new head coach and get Michael Vick as the new QB (don't act like you didnt think about it....bitch).  It wouldn't surprise me because the only certainty about you is that you will always make the wrong choice.  Fuck you very, very much.

PS GO Skins!  I hope we find a way to turn this shit around because it doesn't look good and because this was supposed to be the "easy" part of the season.  I am not mad at the team.  It is not their fault.  It is the dumbass front office that put them there that is the real problem.  It is too early to throw in the towel, any real jackal can admit when he is beat, but we ain't there...yet.

Jackal vs GAF: Jackal wins every time

JACKAL


GAF



PS I am pretty sure the dude from Creed is wearing mascara, leather pants and feeling his Moobs at 27 seconds


PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS Skins better beat the fucking Lions.

JOTD- Craphonso Thorpe- The Man, The Legend

I stumbled upon this oddity while looking at the UFL's website. This guy is currently a reciever for the New York Sentinels, and I will be watching this team in the hopes that this guy makes a play, so I can hear the announcers try to say his name.

What exactly were his parents thinking? Blending shit with a weird mexicanish/italian name? All I know is it makes me laff, and also be on the lookout for Shitseppi Jones out of the Las Vegas Locos!

Edit- I actually just looked, and there is an Adrian Awasom on the LVL's. WTF? I guess they really cant afford people with real names.

Colonial Parking Can Suck It

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JOTD: Biagio Sciscione

While the eyewitness account, Biagio's wife, is a bit suspect, I can only hope I'm not guzzling bitch juice at the ripe count of 88 years. It takes significant amounts of sac to claim your with a religious group to distract a nice old man who was willing to die for the country you stink up with your laziness and reluctance to find respectable employment, while your shithead buddies make off with his safe full o' jewels. It gives me great hope to know this jackal was reppin' Dirty Jerz and my blood jackal, BD, stands a chance at takin' jackaldom to tha' grave, if he does, in fact, have to live there his entire life. Biagio, you my ninja.

FUCK YEAH

What's that?  The Jackals Den is now the first thing to appear in google search of "jackals den" and that scrimp ass other Jackals den blog is nowhere to be found?

We cannot be faded...

Thank God for Changing Times

So this used to be the hottest chick. If Herbert Hoover had a blog, this bitch would have been a Friday hottie at one point or another. Baby girl has some shrubbery in her pits! I'm gonna throw that out there. I am sure Head hooked up with a hairy-pitted chick at some point. Dude loves hippies. Not that I don't, but there is a line in the sand and cross this line you do not. Still, to be rolling pre-plastic surgery era, those are a couple of 'sweater cows' worth writing home about. You feel me, Tico? You see, Tico is a breast connoiseur of sorts.

Now a jackal shouldn't forget where all these hotties came from. You have to appreciate the classic beauties to appreciate how spoiled our asses have gotten.
giggity

Head and KOTJ may be onto something

I just ate chicken for dinner tonight, turkey for lunch earlier today and hamburgers yesterday and it got me thinking.  What exactly am I eating?  I think I will have a bagel for breakfast and a Peanut Butter and Jelly tomorrow or maybe for the next few days....until I can get my head around seeing these clips.  Just to warn you these clips are really fucked up (especially the beef/pigs one).  Not for the faint at heart.

Check it out:

Chicken

Beef/pigs

Hot Dogs

Blintzes and tofu are nasty, but you have to admit this shit is totally fucked up.  Consider a jackal confused.    

JOTW: Scar Shoulders

You ever see the Den in 42 inches of glorious HD? There's a reason fools call ScarShoulders the Osiris of this shit. Large and in charge son. It's how it's done.

The 4 letter thought they were gonna keep me from slitting my wrists after watching the Terps game Saturday by pushing the game to their ESPN360 channel, which isn't really a channel at all, it's the fucking interweb. In the words of pre stroke Lee Corso, NOT SO FAST SWEETHEART! 30 bucks at Best Buy later your boy was cursing James Franklin live and direct as the good lord Anubis intended.

Fast forward 4 hours and SS is picking up the slack for Pontius, who pissed in the post toasties by forgetting to get beer for the Redskins tailgate, carrying beer back from Giant with VoiceMail. Jackals help Jackals even if they aren't down for the tailgate.

Awesome was gotten.

Fast forward another 12 hours and you find SS on the V St court running ball with David Axelrod and Gene Sperling. Who knew this old ass Obama Bama who shoots the ball spinning sideways like a chest pass would go 19 of 30 from beyond the arc? Mad respect...

Next thing you know it's Sunday night and your boy is holding it down dog sitting Murray of the Jungle for KOTJ so him and his lioness can enjoy a night at the beach for their birthdays.

Then the Giants beat down the Cowboys.

The life of SS is a mysterious siren indeed, but that MoFo always keeps it JAF, Jackal as Fuck.

Baleeve it.


Shit, did Scar Shoulders just post giving himself props? Can you even do that?

That's Scar Shoulders fool! He can do whatever he wants! Respect thy gangsta!!

Backspacer is good shit

This guy (or) girl obviously loves Pearl Jam more than is considered normal so take what he says with a grain of salt. But, in principal, I agree with what he/she is saying and I am too lazy to analyze the album as much as they did so read it if you are interested (I skimmed and quickly realized they probably have a poster of Eddie Vedder on their dorm room wall). I must say if he thinks Eddie Vedder is writing lyrics to his fans he must be on some good shit.

Nonetheless, Pearl Jam's new album, Backspacer is damn good even if it is short as hell. (36 mins) I think they did that on purpose instead of filling it up with useless tracks to get a "full LP"....see self titled Pearl Jam or Vitalogy as testament to the absurdness of this approach. So each track is good as hell. Thanks to Brendan O'Brien who also produced, Yield among others (Nuggets and I will agree it is probably their best album)) the shit is just right.

So if you have 12 bucks (at Target, not sure if you can get it anywhere else), and you enjoy good music that doesn't blow goats, then a Jackal highly recommends it.