bhmf's Back In Town!

Aw yeah, another Manic Monday, but bhmf and the Boogerman are getting the band back together.

Jackals is crazy........

.......fierce. Even if they don't never post. Ya know dat's riiiiiight.

Where's the Love?

Well, as a matter fact, it's everywhere. Just ask this crazy chick Valeria Lukyanova! She thinks, "everything is love. Love is God. I am you and you are me." Well in that case I must be a goddamn alien.

Yo, let me just cut to the goddamn chase here. This post is for the Boogers man! When I first read about this chick I thought: goddamn this bitch is nuts!!! Perfect match for the Boogers man!!! I mean, follow me here, she thinks she is a fucking alien and good lordy talk about low maintenance!!! A more perfect match could not be found!!! Says she is into BREATHARIANISM, well holy goddamn shit, won't be too far a step to turn her on to RASTAFARISM now would it? Here baby, breathe on this spliff for a quick min.............

Unemployed: Day 100

It's been 100 days since I went to a full time job. Friends have chipped in here and there and I've made enough to pay rent and (most) bills since that time. It could be worse. But goddamn shit gets to a cracker. I didn't set out the century mark, just got the old urge to hit up the Den. Looked back at the calendar and it was, 100 freaking days. Since then I've mopped a lot of floors, don't mind it actually, mopping's pretty cool. Picked up some dog shit, got ringworm from those shaggy bastards. Taken out a lot of trash and cleaned up after hill wonks playing beer pong and flip cup. That last one was the worst. Dogs are awesome, I'll take dogs over drunk DCites any day. Then there's the weather. Can this jackal get a reprieve? Is there any end in sight? Howl?

Clone Prevention: Foster a Dog

Life is trying to break me down, but this little dude has me covered. He just keeps it so real. See a little bit of the Brode man in ol' Spot here. Poor guy, Spot is a shit name for a dog, but he responds to it and I  am kind of screwed. 

UNF in the news.......

..........just trying to get a lifeline on the Boogers Man! Here ya go, this story is sure to pull on a Jackal's heartstrings. You know what they say about how a monkey reacts when he is caged. Well, what do you expect? A spade is a spade. A human in an office is really just a monkey in a cage.

BHMF STAKES CLAIM........

......to the northern star. Anyone who ever uses it to navigate by shall henceforth owe BHMF a royalty of $4.20 per usage. O Canada, of all the crazy things...... Side note: Dusty Dog done claimed every deer carcass btw here and Richmond.

When I Say It's On, Then It's On

Mr. bhmf,

   What do you make of this?

BMR Needs Some Wilderness

Yo yo yo, bhmf! This ninja be tryin' to get all jackal and camp, but time does not permit. Driving west through Virginia on a Friday night is not a good look for your ol' pal Boogs. On the heels of a vacation(with family including small kids that doesn't really end up being much of a vacation at all(not a lot of getting awesome/little sleep/lots of questions about why BMR can't get hitched and crank out a few pups)), it would be pretty sweet to just jackal shit up on a mountain and go bearing. How is little Oso anyway? Tell that motherfucker to keep his head up and scratch a few bamas with his crooked ass claw. Slam a few cold ones for me. And the next chance we get, let's make her happen.

All I'm gonna say.......

.......is that coming this Friday all the bears on the mountain had best hide all their women and children bears b/c there will be some crazy Jackals on the loose. And we all know what happened last time. Nah, in all seriousness, I am just kidding. I love bears (and all wild animals) and actively root for them to inherit the earth. Newsflash: the meek shall not inherit the earth and bears are certainly not meek. Anyways I am getting sidetracked, what I really came here to say was things ain't gonna be the same around the campfire. Just like the Den ain't the same w/o SS, things won't be the same round the fire w/o da Boogers. But ah well, ninjas got shit to do sometimes and I can understand that. I ain't gonna get all worked up about it.

I could get all worked up about those Jackals that neva mek it. I could get all worked up bout ninjas thinking/urging/inviting BHMF to use social media. But I digress.......

Satan is BHMF's Motor!

Like Santa Claus once said: "A friend of the Devil is a friend of mine." And this saying has always held true for, well, yours truly. You see what I am trying to get at, is.....well.....just wanted to say I got wheels...... 18 wheels........to be specific...................and so it goes.........although I would much prefer to be retired like I was before I have instead decided to join the rat race, for a little while at least........and in celebration of my new job and all that it entails I just wanted to give the Jackals Den, and more specifically, one Mr. Boogers Mc Rib a great big shout out, for the only thing I can figure is this Jackal must be working his fingers to the bone...........it only makes sense right???.........mad love to my working ninja's ----------BMR N RTB WTF is up my ninjas!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

If Boogers lived across the pond

You know who he'd be voting for. Just sayin....

Cougars: Awesome... wait what?

As soon as I see that word...

KFTC: American Dominance

Once this bad boy is up and running, the global marketplace might look very different. Lucky for your ol' pal Boogers, he loves some crab meat wonton.

The World is Not TOTALLY Fucked

So I'm typically one to assume that a majority of carbon-based life forms are on the take. They're out to get a piece of what's Boogers's. Well broad brushes are great for painting barns, but you wouldn't want one to paint by number if you know what I'm sayin'...

But every once in a UNF colored moon, you get some wise guy(or gal), doing the right thing. Just because. Let me tell you it's fucking awesome. I had my day made by somebody who did something they didn't have to do at all. You see BMR's house has been hot as fuck. So dude went out on the ol' lunch break and picked up a Vornado at my local Strosnider's Hardware because you know BMR loves to help the little guy. So anyway, I leave work a little early, go to the parking garage, pay my parking, get up to the car, drive to my house only to discover at some point, I put down the Vornado and didn't pick it back up. I left it in the garage.

I spent the whole night pissed about the $75 I just flushed down the toilet. Stewed on it for a solid four hours of disbelief that I could be that fucking stupid. I had a good friend say, "Don't be pissed until you check the lost and found." I laughed at that thought and while hoping, assured myself that I would soon buy another fan. Wouldn't you know, some beautiful bastard picked that fuckin' thing up and took it to the parking office. It goes to show, if you're after getting the honey, don't go killing all the bees if you know what I'm saying.

JOTD: Macho Man Manny Machado

With his seventh-inning single, Machado became the second player (Cobb being the other) in the history of baseball to record three plus hits in five straight road games before reaching age 21. Again, you can pull a stat or a record out of thin air for anything, but saying that Ty Cobb is the only other guy to have done that puts Machado in rare company.

WTF?: Humans

Alright, bhmf, everyone knows your stance on a carbon tax and why you think it's bullshit. What do you have to say about this? We have to find a way to make "green" business good business. Why the fuck is the map pictured below not a horrible joke, but a legitimate business proposal actually being reviewed by the President of the United States? What does a jackal have to do to make "global warming"/"climate change" real? Stupid jesus freaks...

Friday Hottie: Zehia Dehar

 Worth a gander...

KFTC: Budweiser

And how is Anheuser-Busch lowering the per-beer calorie count? Easy! It is putting less beer inside each can.
 

Once Upon a Jackalcation

Well these jackals had quite a little adventure in the VA hills. Climbing a waterfall, rescuing our little friend L.O., vomiting the contents of a children's swimming pool. That shit was pretty awesome. We jackals surely represented, shit I saw bhmf eat at least two worms or some shit he found under a rock. I'll tell you this man, don't change the lock combo, if shit hits the fan, I'm heading your way. Hoooowwwwlllll!!!!