Boogers for President!!!!!

If Tico picks tomorrow's hottie and we get something like this, that's it I'm done. Tennis bullshit and now the Friday Hottie is in jeopardy.

Fuck a ninja depressed.

Clone? Or Jackal?

This could go either way, I'm not sure where I stand. If he had hit and hurt the baby, I wouldn't find it as difficult, but I think this is jackal behavior of sorts. What do you think, Jackals? Tennis is pretty gay, but I really don't care for crying babies either.

Wow: Sucks to Be That Guy

A hapless state information-technology worker who usually joined his office lottery pool took a pass last week -- only to learn that seven positive-thinking pals nailed a whopping $319 million Mega Millions jackpot, said a deli owner who knows the winners.

"The word is that when they were going around the office asking who wanted in on the pool, one guy said no, that he wasn't feeling lucky,"

Cook said the geek squad came in for lunch daily -- but haven't been seen since beating the one-in-176-million odds in Friday's drawing. Customers who know the winners told her they weren't planning to return to their jobs -- except to pass along unfinished business to colleagues.

KFTC, New York Post, as if the poor fucker didn't already feel like dying.

Boogers' Wide World of Sports

Stop me if I'm reading too much into this, but how can this go on peacefully on one side of the world, while this goes on on the other? 'Merica got itself some issues.

WTF?: 2 Years in a Chair Guy

One officer said it was the worst thing he ever responded to. And most said the worst part of all was the smell. Ironically the landlord says the man in the chair rented from her before and used to be a vital active person.


Police said the man's skin had become attached to the fabric of the chair after he sat in it for two years. Authorities said he was sitting in his own feces and urine and maggots were visible.


Shockingly, two other able-bodied people lived there---another man, who had a separate bedroom, and the girlfriend of the man who was stuck in the chair. Officials say the girlfriend served food to him, since he never got up.

In other news, this Colombian football fan's friends are fucking nuts. If y'all jackals get a hold of my corpse, march that beast into M&T Bank vs. the Steelers on Monday night. The runner up would be getting cremated and having my ashes scattered all over the Pittsburgh bench.

JOTD: Mike Krzyzewski

You might hate Duke, and who doesn't love hating your arch-rival.
But you have to tip your hat to Kryzewski (what a last name).

The guy is a top 10 coach of College Basketball and he is a great person. "Competitive Hate? That's good, I am fine with that" <- I like that, let's see who is last standing. GO TECH, FUCK DUKE...bring it!

He is a true Jackal.

Hottie vs. Skank: A Jackal Clarification

Allow me to attempt to clarify the Friday hottie criticism. There are many times that as a married man I am forced to do things I don't want to do, but that said, marriage is the shit. However, don't get it twisted I can appreciate a skeeza or a hottie with the best of them.

As far as Friday hotties, I expect to see some person that is hot and hopefully not fully dressed, but it is easy to get half naked pics of skanks. Finding half naked pics of Jessica Alba takes a bit more research. (Equally easy actually) Like actresses, news anchors, etc. Fun for me and good for the Den to complete the archive. If I wanted to see skanks I would just google skanks and get this:



But if I want Friday hottie, then I would watch some tv show, movie, news, etc. See someone and think, hmmm wonder if she has some hot picture on the internets for my jackals and I to enjoy.

Like this:



Get it?!

Europe: Fuck Yeah

Fuck yeah.

Apples to Oranges: Crosby vs. Ovechkin

So this fag hurts his head and protests the regular season, sits out almost three months, cloning it up. The Caps practically beg Ovie to rest and what does he do? Sits out two games only to go right back the next week. Ovie will celebrate the same for a teammate's goal in the first period as he will his own overtime winner. History will decide who was better, but let's start by getting Ovie the Stanley Cup.

Meanwhile, you've got the Iranian government is disseminating the notion that the end times are upon us and we should be on the lookout for our god of choice, the "anti Christ" and other apocalyptic role players. I just hope those assholes don't interrupt the hockey.

Funny Shit: D'backs' Bullpen Catcher

Hysterical. This guy is like BD2x but with more walk to his talk. Give this puppy a read, good ish.

Surprise Cockbags!!!!! GO........A........SLEEP.

Holy Shit balls! Momo made you homos look like Tony Romo.

Surprise cockbags!...Victory Blouses.



By the way, I made the mistake of passing by Greener and Fatass this morning on ESPN. They referred to their brackets as their "Sheets of Integrity." Quite possibly the lamest shit I have ever heard. Mine is fucked now because I had Duck (my new name for the Blue Clones) going to the final four. It was a serious error in judgement that will never happen again. I place myself at the mercy of the Den for such a gross misjudgement of all that is jackal. Fuck Duke. 'Merica.


PS - I just watched CNN (Clearly not News) and they keep showing arab nations with people saying " Allah Lakbah" "God is great" and then some shit blows up. I am not a bigot and I do not judge others religions (well maybe the second part) but Islam needs to check itself before it wriggitywrecks itself. Jesus I am glad I am 'Merican. Obama is sort of being a pussy about all of this. Can you please tell us what the hell is going on over there and stop being all Michael Biehn in Navy S.E.A.L.S. about everything?!? Frenchys taking over? Troops on the ground? Gadhafi's head on a spike? Something. Don't go all Bush "evildoers" or anything just some details... shit. We gonna go over there and blow some shit up and then get highed up at some brothel. Or something of the sort. Act like you got a pair. Fucking Ivy leaguers. His time is limited I am afraid...

Friday Hottie: Rhian Sugden

 

Fish in a Barrel: Michelle Bachmann

A ninja ain't even gotta type shit...

WTF?: Sabre-toothed Vegetarians

This made me think of Head and KOTJ(where the fuck is that guy?) and how jackals tend to belittle vegetarian jackals. I had no idea sabreteeth could ever have been wasted on vegetables, but that's what scientists are for.

JOTD: Buck Showalter

"The first time we went to Yankee Stadium, I screamed at Derek Jeter from the dugout," Showalter told the magazine, according to the Bergen Record. "Our guys are thinking, 'Wow, he's screaming at Derek Jeter.' Well, he's always jumping back from balls just off the plate. I know how many calls that team gets -- and yes, he [ticks] me off."

"I'd like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay [Rays] payroll," Showalter told Men's Journal, according to the Record. "You got Carl Crawford 'cause you paid more than anyone else, and that's what makes you smarter? That's why I like whipping their butt. It's great, knowing those guys with the $205 million payroll are saying, 'How the hell are they beating us?' "




Shout out to Ol' Filthy for the link...

FallOut Bunkers Boogers Style!

Thought some Jackals might be interested in saving their hinds come 2012. Maybe we can all pool our money and get one of the "apocalyptic 2012 shelters" mentioned.

Instead of a wine room we get a MGD room and a THC room and hell while we are at it, a peyote room.

I dunno, might be my best idea to date...........

WTF?: Old Bitches

Well Monday's Jackal of the Day made it to 100 without crossing paths with a crazy bitch like this.

"Investigators allege that Staudinger went next door to speak with Dwight Bettner, but her 53-year-old neighbor asked her to leave. In an interview with a sheriff’s deputy, Staudinger said she told Bettner that she would not leave unless he gave her a kiss. That is when an incensed Staudinger returned to her home, got her gun, and allegedly fired into Bettner’s residence. Bettner, who was hit by flying debris, was not seriously injured by the gunfire."

Do As I Say...: David Schubert

Tisk tisk, Mr. Schubert.

Karma Is A Bitch: Matt Cooke

Well maybe some more inconsistency and line up changes are what the Penguins need heading into a playoff run. One thing is certain, Cooke's reputation as a head hunter and a dirty player has caught up with him. I guess you don't get the same favorable calls when Sadney doesn't lace up the blades.

JOTD: Fred Mack

This cracka is keeping it jackal. 


"Mack, who doesn’t have any children, out-lived two wives."

Where the fuck has all the oil gone????

What the Fuck??? Alaska be needing more oil flow yo.

What is up with dat shit???

I would like to sit and watch while this douche "encourages lawmakers to do whatever they could "to get me more oil."

Friday Hottie: Choose Your Own

www.google.com/imghp


or

Ingrid Vandenbosch

Jackal Origins: BMR

Repost: Deservedly So

JOTD: Tommy Z

While this dude has some boxing ability, he has one of the worst boxing names ever. Your ol' pal Boogers don't mind as long as fools go to sleep and I never have to go to SE DC, more specifically the Ugly Mug, on a Saturday night ever again. Let's hear it for this jackal getting paid, even though the NFL is acting like a bitch. This knockout was one of the weirdest I've ever seen.

Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree: Bobbi Kristina Brown

Friday Hottie: Monika Pietrainska

DISCLAIMER: This post is truly humbling for me. Not one picture exists of this woman that isn't ridiculously hot. It's kind of like she was always meant to be a Friday Hottie. I'm sure she'd be very honored and everything, but BMR is serious with the R&R on some Friday Hotties. I cannot fathom how freaking hot this woman is. If you lose the will to live after viewing this collection of photographs, the Jackals Den is in no way responsible for your actions.

Funny Shit: Right Wing Radio Duck

Ovie's Back

Jackal Invention: Watch Gator

More than one way to skin a ganja thief.

Keeping It Jackal: Caps

Caps? Is that you? What a difference a year makes. Force OT and score 40 seconds in? I'm accustomed to watching that, but not emerging victorious. Activate Holtby from the Bears and watch him stop 24 straight Lightning shots in relief of Neuvy, who has been absolutely killin' crackas? Force OT again, 2 nights in a row, and win a shootout? No clone on display with these Capitals. JAF they are. Two problems still remain: 1) home ice needs to feel that way 2) power play is slacking, but getting Green back might time it up perfect for a playoff run. Any thoughts, jackals?

KFTC: John McCain

Maybe this dude left his brain in a Vietnamese POW camp, but the last thing we need right now is to try and build another democracy in the Middle East from scratch.

KFTC: Hip Hop

Brawl Mars DMV Music Awards Outside Washington: MyFoxDC.com

The fight started in the ballroom? Seriously, keep fucking that chicken. Hip hop would be really great if it could get rid of all the degenerates and no-talent ass clowns.

Oh my god, Roz Plater is the fattest and ugliest news anchor I've ever seen.

If You Gotta Go...

"A western Michigan high school basketball player collapsed on the court and later died after making the game-winning shot to cap his team’s perfect season."

Not jackal enough? How about knowingly/willingly eating yourself to death? bhmf, this one is ripe for puns...

Friday Hottie: Sandra Ramirez