Ask a (Incredibly Biased) Jackal: Is Joe Flacco Elite?

I don't really give a shit about an answer to this question, but he's probably one of two or three NFL quarterbacks that can make this throw.

Joe Flacco has 613 yards, 5 TDs & 0 INTs (120.0 rating) in this year's playoffs. The average length of his 5 TDs is 39.8 yards.

Ya GODDAMN RIGHT..........

...........that shit be worth its weight in gold and what not.

$1800 an ounce is alright with me seeing as I got my ounces when it was $1140 an ounce. Would like to see it top $2000 like everyone is saying it will. But on second thought I don't care what the price is b/c my shit ain't for sale.

Read btw the lines Jackals, "Investors -market collapse- pull -societal collapse -money -desperate hungry people- out -utter chaos- of -end of industrial civilization as we know it - stocks - gonna happen sometime sooner or later, but we are getting closer to the sooner side of that equation."

And for those serious Ninjas what this all boils down to is if your BUG OUT BAG ain't packed and ready you are going to find yourself up creek with no MOTHERFUCKING PADDLE and your canoe is headed for some mean looking RAPIDS!!!

Just saying........

Ask a Jackal: Who the Fuck is This Guy?

Yo, yo, Jackals, who the fuck is this guy?

Ask a Jackal: US Military Expenditure

What say you, Jackals? How long can we keep fucking this chicken?

R.I.P.: Land of the Free

That's a big mawlfucker and watching it lift off is rather impressive, but it would be nice if they could tell us what it's carrying into space and what they plan to learn while it's payload is in orbit.

Jackal Definitions: 'Jackal Proposition'

What is a proposition? For that matter, what is a jackal proposition? Is it not to be mulled over and contemplated? Should it not be evaluated for its thorough and complete jackalization of any given afternoon, late night, bloody mary morning, etc.? That said, I don't really see how we could get awesome, drink a flask and somehow get to Bmore for an event which BMR has unequivocally boycotted. If a man has a mustache, does he need a wingman? If a jackal gives another jackal shit about leaving a bar that was playing the Black Eyed Peas, is his shit justified?

Jackal Query: Kyle Got Digits

Dude, ninja, does a jackal remember the last time Boogers got interns in his office? He's got another one for the spring, we'll call him 'Kyle', for lack of a better alias. Kyle's got his 'ESS AICH' together, but maybe a screw loose here or there. He had some questions for your boy BMR, but dude is hella busy these days. I figured I would forward his inquiry into the Den, get a couple jackals on the case.

So Kyle got some digits over the weekend and he wants to impress the young lady. He's also compelled to keep it jackal. Could the Den offer up some suggestions for Kyle's first date?

"Kyle" Back On His Stalking Grind

There is one thing I gotta say about Kyle, he's getting really good at stalking his prey. How was this picture even taken? Did you just surprise a bitch with a "HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE CEILING!!!" ? What's going on with her hands? Have you killed and stuffed her? I don't even know what to think anymore, I guess I need more pictures . . .

Kyle Checks Back In

Clearly not deterred by the cautionary tale of Mark Musarella James "Kyle" Bond reports back in from the front line of Battlefield Intern: Sweatable or Desperate?

And I quote "That's pretty positive. Post it! I can't get pictures off my phone"

Godspeed Kyle, Godspeed...

Ask a Jackal: New Hot Intern

This marks the start of a new feature at The Jackals Den: Ask a Jackal. Here we'll take questions from people we know and get a Jackal's perspective on how to handle it. Today's conundrum comes from Kyle, a long-time friend of a Jackal:

We just got an intern today and she's wicked hot. I can't talk to anyone at work about it, so I'm leaning on you guys. Wicked hot, no exaggeration. Anyone on who knows me knows that I shouldn't be in close proximity to wicked hot females. And she's been asked to report to me! This can't end well.

Jackals, chime in on the most Jackal-like way to handle this. (Note: Picture provided for illustrative purposes. This is not actually the coworker in question....as far as I know.)