Hilarious Unnoticed Political Scandal of Yesterday

Married Republican California Assemblyman Mike Duvall was caught by a microphone bragging about sex with two different lobbyists. Excerpts:

She wears little eye-patch underwear, so I can see her eye patches. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday, a lot. And so she'll she's all, I am going up and down the stairs and you're dripping out of me. So messy.

So I am getting into spanking her… Yeah, I like it… I like spanking her. She goes, I know you like spanking me, I said yeah, that's 'cause you're such a bad girl.

I love this quote by a local staffer:

Their relationship is the worst-kept secret in Sacramento. He's old and fat. She's hot, blonde and about 20
 years younger. He could have never gotten a woman like that before he got
 this job.

Ah, the life of a politician. And to make matters worse, he then resigns, but says:

I want to make it clear that my decision to resign is in no way an admission that I had an affair or affairs. My offense was engaging in inappropriate story-telling and I regret my language and choice of words. The resulting media coverage was proving to be an unneeded distraction to my colleagues and I resigned in the hope that my decision would allow them to return to the business of the state.

Seriously - that's his excuse. "I am not an adulterer! I am a liar! (But I'm not lying now!)"

Hilarious. Good luck with the crappy-ass life you have left fatty Duvall...

Shouldaz, Where You At?

We've got a jackal that's gone MIA. We're gonna drop some jackals behind enemy lines and shit, see if we can't dial this ninja up. It's a big weekend. Maybe he's kicking it in a lair of sorts, plotting, judging, maybe he took Rusty up on his pepper offer and didn't live to tell the tale. Shoulders, will you howl at the Den? When you have the time. Eli is a bitch. In case you need some incentive.

GCOTD: Drew Stevyns (a.k.a. Andrew Petrowski)

Nuggets, Boogers, Droppa Duece and a few others went to middle school , back in the Clarksville days, with this douche. He played a song just like this at Nuggets's 8th grade B-day party. It got all the girls panties in a bunch. A move which quickly cost him dearly in gaining any friends because there was really only 1 chick worth looking at out of the 8 (yes only 8) girls in our class.

DOUCHE!!

For those of you that don't know what the hell I am talking about, you probably won't care, but I thought it only fair to post here for comments.

You really should watch this one, not only did I tear up from lameness of "Drew Stevyns" (sounds like a porn name), but it is quite funny to watch Don't Hassle the Hoff talk not drunk, with a shirt on, and without a burger hanging from his mouth (a.k.a. getting awesome) knowing that millions have seen him in that state.

JOTD:

I don't know how much more awesome you can get, this guy started drinking at nine in the morning, pretended to drown repeatedly, verbally UNF'd and then threw jellyfish at people. Take notes, boys. Jackaldom is alive and well in the Sunshine State. Who's got $250? Let's go bail this guy out and get wasted!