Probably not, because 70% of you are gayer than
this commercial. I'm not sure what the fucking score is, but that commercial is GAF, fantasy football is GAF. Why would you want anything at stake besides YOUR football team's record on Sunday? I know exactly what you're thinking, "But, BMR, there's a cash prize!" I could give a fuck about a cash prize. Fantasy leagues should start up in November, when half the teams' fans realize they aren't contending. Stats don't win football games and when I see a half hour show discussing "fantasy football" I get really frickin' pissed. Apparently not as pissed as Ball Deep gets at y'all skrimps, though. So help me god if one of you fucks asks me to join your fantasy league. The day I accept your offer, I will also do the following:
figure out who Taylor Swift is and buy her record
open a MySpace account
watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy
watch a Harry Potter movie
open a Facebook account
stop finding cougars attractive
drink cqq99 under the table
tweet
say goodbye to sensi-Boogers McRib
apologize to FetusFace for calling him out repeatedly
assist FetusFace in being "deflowered"
consider a vote for Sarah Palin in 2012
get ripped off by the Melting Pot restaurant
drink a Bud Light Lime
play Flip Cup
enter a nude wheel barrow race in Dupont Circle
many other things I have absolutely no intention of doing...
Fantasy Football, go to fuckin' sleep!
