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CTB Show 495: A(I) Self Aware Podcast
2 days ago
Thursday, June 18, 2009
1001 Reasons Why NFL is better than College Football: Cheerleaders
So I understand there are some people here who really love college football. Now, I love Maryland football. I was raised on it. Had I actually lived in Wicomico dorm rather than getting drunk there every weekend, I would more than likely be die-hard like the rest of you Jackals with taste. But let's be honest on the whole NFL is much better. More fun to watch, more fun to tailgate, an actual outcome at the end that makes sense (playoffs) and interesting sideline talent. Let's take a look at 2 of the most respected teams in the den for example MD and VT. Versus the greatest football team in the world...the Washington Redskins.
Exhibit A: Maryland Cheerleaders, seriously what is wrong with the chick on the right?
Exhibit B: VT Cheerleaders, The blond ones look OK but the black dude on top sort of ruins the mood.
Exhibit C: VT Bitches...not cute and trying too hard.
Exhibit Jackal: Redskinettes, issa nice.
I would say this applies to all NFL teams but unfortunately the NY Giants aren't allowed to have cheerleaders because the are GAF and they need the room on the sidelines to suck each other off. The Eagles actually have really hot cheerleaders, but they suck balls too.
Over the line
Here is this post.
Here is the line _______
Let's be honest... the den has been soft this week. My posts in particular. Let's step it up Jackals.
UNF son!
More on Truman
I'm not well-read enough to justify any real organized or forceful opinion on Truman or the issues ScarShoulders brought up yesterday, but I had enough contrary opinions that I thought I'd jot some crap down and see we'll see where it takes us:
First, I know next to nothing about the formation of Israel - mostly just what a Jewish friend of mine told me in 15 minutes in a airport - but I don't think we can blame Truman for the location of Israel. After reading this shit, I'm convinced that that area was basically fucked one way or the other. There were already so many Jews flooding into Palestine that a third of population was Jewish by the end of WWII. And that's despite attempts by the British to slow the influx. So they were going to be there, and there were going to be conflicts, whether "Israel" was there or elsewhere. (As for Argentina as another possible location, I don't know where that comes from.)
Second, I think it's a little silly to blame all of our problems in the Middle East on the existence of Israel. First, we were always going to be involved in the area because our economy relies on oil.
Second, Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda seem to stem more from the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in the 1980s, where our training of the mujihadeen was motivated by our Cold War-based wish to see the Soviets fail. Sure, you could argue that the reason Al Qaeda was formed and sustained from the 1980s until now is partly a byproduct of the continued animosity between Israel and the Arab world. But I think the Gulf War and our continued presence because of oil interests would have been sufficient even without Israel in the picture.
Third, I don't think we can blame Truman for the Cold War. At the end of World War II, there were two superpowers forming in the world - even as the war was coming to a close, both the U.S. and U.S.S.R. knew it. And with two distinct styles of government, that rivalry was definitely happening one way or the other. (Though we probably didn't have to go quite so insane everytime some random country chose a socialist form of government.)
Fourth, I am dubious about the extent to which the dropping of atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki had an impact on others wanting or not wanting the bombs. The idea of the technology was already out - the concept of a fissile chain reaction was widely known in scientific circles, the British knew about it, the Germans were working on it and might have beat us to it if not for some sweet sabotage by the Allies, and the Soviets had a spy on the Manhattan Project. Proliferation was going to happen, and in fact was happening even before the bombs were dropped.
Somewhat unrelatedly, while it pains me to say this, because I visited
Hiroshima last year and what happened there was a terrible tragedy, I can't help but wonder if the outcomes (thus far) of the nuclear age aren't about as good as we could have hoped for. I figure that the minimum number of times that the bomb would have been dropped would be 1 - it seems very likely that, without an example incident to serve as a warning of the destructive power of the bomb (which Hiroshima and Nagasaki became) that someone, sometime would have used a nuclear weapon since then. I suppose it's possible that, had two powers developed the weapons simultaneously, we might have been able to maintain a fragile equilibrium similar to that which occurred during the Cold War without anyone using the weapons. But we came damn near mutual annihilation even knowing how much destruction these weapons would wreak, so I'm skeptical that we could have avoided someone using one. So with that said, two attacks relatively early in the development cycle (i.e. before the development of hydrogen bombs) is actually relatively high on the scale of possible outcomes from no attacks to elimination of humanity. With all that said, Truman certainly doesn't deserve any credit for all of this, since (1) he didn't know how this would all turn out and (2) almost certainly wasn't thinking about 60 years down the line anyway. And even knowing what we know now, I think you can argue without much difficulty that Nagasaki was a poor decision in both the short and long term, since the benefit in either case was minimal: I'm sure we could have pointed to Hiroshima and gotten the Emperor to agree to step down, and I don't see any reason why a lunatic who isn't swayed by Hiroshima would be swayed by Nagasaki.
Again, all relatively uninformed opinions. But how could any GCotC nominee not come from Nazi Germany, or one of the many other genocides from around the world? (Though I suppose you could argue that the atomic bombs - not to mention the fire bombing - represented a form of genocide. But then this post is so long that no one outside of ScarShoulders is going to read it anyway.)
First, I know next to nothing about the formation of Israel - mostly just what a Jewish friend of mine told me in 15 minutes in a airport - but I don't think we can blame Truman for the location of Israel. After reading this shit, I'm convinced that that area was basically fucked one way or the other. There were already so many Jews flooding into Palestine that a third of population was Jewish by the end of WWII. And that's despite attempts by the British to slow the influx. So they were going to be there, and there were going to be conflicts, whether "Israel" was there or elsewhere. (As for Argentina as another possible location, I don't know where that comes from.)
Second, I think it's a little silly to blame all of our problems in the Middle East on the existence of Israel. First, we were always going to be involved in the area because our economy relies on oil.
Second, Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda seem to stem more from the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in the 1980s, where our training of the mujihadeen was motivated by our Cold War-based wish to see the Soviets fail. Sure, you could argue that the reason Al Qaeda was formed and sustained from the 1980s until now is partly a byproduct of the continued animosity between Israel and the Arab world. But I think the Gulf War and our continued presence because of oil interests would have been sufficient even without Israel in the picture.
Third, I don't think we can blame Truman for the Cold War. At the end of World War II, there were two superpowers forming in the world - even as the war was coming to a close, both the U.S. and U.S.S.R. knew it. And with two distinct styles of government, that rivalry was definitely happening one way or the other. (Though we probably didn't have to go quite so insane everytime some random country chose a socialist form of government.)
Fourth, I am dubious about the extent to which the dropping of atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki had an impact on others wanting or not wanting the bombs. The idea of the technology was already out - the concept of a fissile chain reaction was widely known in scientific circles, the British knew about it, the Germans were working on it and might have beat us to it if not for some sweet sabotage by the Allies, and the Soviets had a spy on the Manhattan Project. Proliferation was going to happen, and in fact was happening even before the bombs were dropped.
Somewhat unrelatedly, while it pains me to say this, because I visited
Hiroshima last year and what happened there was a terrible tragedy, I can't help but wonder if the outcomes (thus far) of the nuclear age aren't about as good as we could have hoped for. I figure that the minimum number of times that the bomb would have been dropped would be 1 - it seems very likely that, without an example incident to serve as a warning of the destructive power of the bomb (which Hiroshima and Nagasaki became) that someone, sometime would have used a nuclear weapon since then. I suppose it's possible that, had two powers developed the weapons simultaneously, we might have been able to maintain a fragile equilibrium similar to that which occurred during the Cold War without anyone using the weapons. But we came damn near mutual annihilation even knowing how much destruction these weapons would wreak, so I'm skeptical that we could have avoided someone using one. So with that said, two attacks relatively early in the development cycle (i.e. before the development of hydrogen bombs) is actually relatively high on the scale of possible outcomes from no attacks to elimination of humanity. With all that said, Truman certainly doesn't deserve any credit for all of this, since (1) he didn't know how this would all turn out and (2) almost certainly wasn't thinking about 60 years down the line anyway. And even knowing what we know now, I think you can argue without much difficulty that Nagasaki was a poor decision in both the short and long term, since the benefit in either case was minimal: I'm sure we could have pointed to Hiroshima and gotten the Emperor to agree to step down, and I don't see any reason why a lunatic who isn't swayed by Hiroshima would be swayed by Nagasaki.Again, all relatively uninformed opinions. But how could any GCotC nominee not come from Nazi Germany, or one of the many other genocides from around the world? (Though I suppose you could argue that the atomic bombs - not to mention the fire bombing - represented a form of genocide. But then this post is so long that no one outside of ScarShoulders is going to read it anyway.)
As soon as my office is back to full strength, skrimpture has got a new fuckin' boot on its ass. For now, SS is spitting hot fire. Y'all are suspect. Can you imagine if A Schwanz became the first jackal to go down in the line of duty? What if he posts Monday morning from the underside of a transvestite hooker's grundle?
The Jump Off
Jackals-
I'm signing off for the weekend. I've been spending the better part of two weeks making sure Las Vegas is prepared for our arrival. It's been more of a full-time job than my full-time job, which should explain my lack of posting awesomeness. Rest assured, Jackals, that I will be back in full effect Tuesday, with lots of stupid stories of debauchery, no doubt.Until then, I leave you with the great words of a Clinton that really mattered: "Put a glide in your stride, a dip in your hip, and come on to the mothership."
A. Schwanz, over and out.
Jackals Fall Football Reunion Weekend
VS.
Saturday November 14
We tailgate, we argue, we watch football, we get awesome.
We go to Rockabilly night at the Quarry House afterwards.
I dreamed it two nights ago. It was awesome.
In?
Go ahead Steven, take off your shirt to relax... and then tie it around your neck and hang yourself.
Man I've known Steven for a long ass time. I've known this dude since he was throwing bones outside of Gerhearts on the corner of Old Frederick and Triadelphia. Brother was always quick to holla "hooty hoo!" when he saw cops. We repped Manor Woods together on many occasions in the mid to late 90s...
...and then I didn't see Steven for a while. But The Wiz started bringing him over to play cards and he even uttered the famous words after busting out, buying back in, and busting out again "fuck, where is an ATM? I gotta go get more money and buy back in, because I have a gambling problem!" and he did. It was awesome. Just a few weeks ago dude was getting awesome and repping G-Swish to the fullest 
and told me "oh my god so many emails. you should make a blog, if you do I am all over it!" and I trusted Steven. I thought he would stick to the fundamentals like his hero Tom Emanski and tear the Internet up...
and told me "oh my god so many emails. you should make a blog, if you do I am all over it!" and I trusted Steven. I thought he would stick to the fundamentals like his hero Tom Emanski and tear the Internet up...and what has he done? ZERO POSTS strike 1 motha fucka.
ZERO COMMENTS strike 2 homey
Remember the video Steven, keep your head down... eye on the ball... watch the rotation ... step straight back at the pitcher... cause if you don't? If you don't show the fuck up, take off your shirt, relax a little bit? If you don't get awesome, keep it Jackal and post about it? Well that's gonna be strike 3 son! and you'll be out. And if you think you got a lot of emails when you were in the game you have no idea how many you'll get when your out of it. Ask Tico what being on the the blog distribution list was like, for all posts and comments. Go ahead, fuck with the Jesus. You feeling lucky? See if I don't stick the email gun so far up your inbox it's coming out your mouth and pull the send trigger until it goes fucking click.
Warning served. Your move hotshot.
Jackal Dreams
Last night, I had a dream that I posted something really lame to the Jackals Den. Like I had started something interesting, then gotten bored/distracted, and before going to bed just clicked "Submit" even though I hadn't really finished. And then Jackals spent all night feasting on my 50% finished, 100% BAF (boring as fuck) post. I awoke in a start - "I gotta go finish my post! Gotta make it better..." Fortunately I remembered that Friday afternoon happened, and I quickly went to sleep again. Still, it's a scary thing, being feasted on by Jackals...
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