LUCAS
May have been funny if not for this post 1.5 hours earlier...
CTB Show 552: Diaper Full of Cocaine
5 days ago
Friday, June 12, 2009
Gay Clone of the Day
Arlington muthafuckin Virginia.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T1RMuoQnKo
And maybe I dont know how to embed video. You wanna beef about it?
Redaction of sorts...
It appears that some of my hostility may have been misdirected, for that I don't apologize, I just say that's too bad. But having realized this, I feel pretty unsatisfied. So, "King of the Jungle", please know that you've been marked...
Forewarning aside, I feel pretty compelled to share with you that today, my fellow jackals, was the last Friday that I will ever work; reason for almost as much jubilation as jar of Mott's can create. That's right, while you're hard at work I'll be kickin' it. Feel free to call me at home.
Friday Hottie: Former Miss CA
Carrie Prejean She may be a conservative whore with assbackwards views, but who cares.
Looks like watching Dancing With the Stars just got a whole lot more jackal. It's pretty relative, because half-naked women are readily available. But if you're married and your wife makes you watch the show, give yourself a silent fist pump when she's not looking.http://bumpshack.com/2009/05/29/espns-erin-andrews-could-be-dancing-with-the-stars/
Pick-A-Douche
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Jackals Den's latest terrible game where you have to choose something from undesirable choices. For hypothesis' sake, let's say you marry into a family and one of these douchebags will be the brother-in-law that bails you out at family gatherings by talking sports with you(i.e. the me to your Old Filthy). That's right, Jackals Den, it's time for you to PICK A DOUCHE!
Pointless post closer to 100
Can we make the Den look like an Excel Spreadsheet, please? I am 100% certain that we would have a double the amount of posts if it looked like a spreadsheet. Can you imagine the possibilities??
"Kyle" Back On His Stalking Grind
There is one thing I gotta say about Kyle, he's getting really good at stalking his prey. How was this picture even taken? Did you just surprise a bitch with a "HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE CEILING!!!" Gay Clone of the Day: Eddie Murphy
It is with heavy heart that I submit today's GCOTD. (that's right... breeves Babyface. Deal with it.) Many of us have watched RAW at least 50 times not to mention Delirious and a whole host of awesome 80's movies, such as Trading Spaces, with the great Eddie Murphy. So my question to you my jackals, is when did Eddie become such a bitch? He has not been funny in at least 10 years. I understand when you have a family you start to get a little lame. I mean myself included, I have no delusions about that. But how does the rawest jackal from the 80s inspired by Richard Pryor, carried on by Chris Rock, how does he suck this bad? By the way, I don't recommend watching this clip, but if you do try to find something that resembles funny. If you find it please let me know.
Congrats, Eddie Murphy "The Fuck You" man. You're today's winner of the whole lot of suck award.
DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOSSA!
So a big hullaballoo has been made about this Marian Hossa character(his parents are dicks!) and how he used to be a Penguin. Apparently at some point during his tenure he left the Igloo and set his poor feet on filthy, shit-stained Pittsburghian soil to find that Shittsburgh is no place to live. Cindy Crosby makes a bunch of money, but the thought of spending his career there crosses his mind when too many hats are thrown on the ice after a hat trick or whenever he and his Canadian Tootsie Roll cock skate off the ice defeated. This is manifested in a very tiny tear that wells up in his left eye(you can see it in HD tonight, about 10/10:30). So I don't really care who steps up for Detroit, but goddamn, that state of Michigan needs a little something to hang some hats on. I can't really take another Shittsburgh fan telling me about a World Champion team or I will knock them unconscious with a statue of Edgar Allan Poe, throw them in my trunk, drive the 350 miles to Western Pennsyltucky and Goodfellas the fuck out of the mother fucker. Right down to cutting "the hoof out of the grill". Hockeytown, for now, one dynasty I don't mind as much. Shittsburgh, GO TO SLEEP!
JACKALATOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSSS Mount up!
Scourge of a Butterfly? Are you fucking kidding me? Lets UNF this page out of existence.
Hipster Jackals??
I am not sure if that is an oxymoron, but this band has all the makings of being Jackal. They don't give a fuck and it shows. Their Indian front man is a freaking madman and they rock. Picture Thin Lizzy + Blues Brothers + The Animals + lots of Acid + P-Funk + Indian people = Fuckin' Jackal ass shit. Based on my butthole surfer submission, you all are not watching my posts but I could give a fuck because I want to have all this shit in on place. Baleeve it!!
Courtesy of Wikipedia:
King Khan and the Shrines, sometimes referred to as King Khan and (His) Sensational Shrines or The Supreme Genius of King Khan and His Sensational Shrines, are a Berlin-based garage rock and psychedelic soul band.
The band was founded in 1999 by the twenty-two year old King Khan, formerly of Canadian garage rock outfits The Spaceshits (where he operated under the pseudonym Blacksnake) and Kukamongas. The band is noted for its impressive stage antics. Typically King Khan is scantily clad, and the overwhelming frontman. His performances feature a cheerleader, and a mixture of instrumentation including, but not limited to: keyboard, baritone saxophone, guitar, bass, and drums. He played an energetic concert at the 2008 Pitchfork Music Festival.
Courtesy of Wikipedia:
King Khan and the Shrines, sometimes referred to as King Khan and (His) Sensational Shrines or The Supreme Genius of King Khan and His Sensational Shrines, are a Berlin-based garage rock and psychedelic soul band.
The band was founded in 1999 by the twenty-two year old King Khan, formerly of Canadian garage rock outfits The Spaceshits (where he operated under the pseudonym Blacksnake) and Kukamongas. The band is noted for its impressive stage antics. Typically King Khan is scantily clad, and the overwhelming frontman. His performances feature a cheerleader, and a mixture of instrumentation including, but not limited to: keyboard, baritone saxophone, guitar, bass, and drums. He played an energetic concert at the 2008 Pitchfork Music Festival.
What do you think?
I couldn't get that Anubis motherfucker in there for the K because he's only black and white and the red looks better. Also, the site is black so a white background looks stupid. When I have some more time, I'll trace it and change the color. Here's a low-quality version of the flash I made.
SS Music Review: Mos Def - The Ecstatic
Black Jack Johnson N.Y.C., R-O-C-K-I-N-G Sun and the moon, earths, stars, and planets Before song done y'all goin' all understand it
I'll be honest, I was pretty damn excited about this album. Multiple sources touted it as "his best album since Black on Both sides" and some suggested it was possibly even better than that classic LP. The whole thing plays out like a live show, and much of it I am 95% sure I saw at Rock the Bells last summer. Mos really hits his stride in track 3 produced by the highly underrated Madlib (if you don't have Liberation which him and Kweli put out for free on the web a couple years back, get it) featuring Slick Rick the Ruler. For 5 or 6 tracks Mos is in the zone (and put me there with him. I think I got popped by a big brother speeding camera I slow down for every day on the way to work. Fuck those things.) and the rim looks like an ocean, runners, fadeaways, long threes, to the rim with the contact AND ONE! ONIONS! But then like any hot shooter Mos cools off and the album rolls slowly around the world for another 5 or 6 tracks until Kweli (with an assist from J Dilla, RIP) brings him back to Brooklyn for the last two tracks (dear Jackal please give us another Blackstar album STAT!). I can see why the album received such high praise, it has a ton of what white people love about Mos Def. However Hipsters should never talk about hip hop and although Black Dante is more worldly now he's at his best when he's has Bed-Stuy locked firmly in his scope. There wasn't enough of that for my taste.
All in all it's a good offering, but really only slightly better than True Magic which me and six other OJs (Original Jackals) bought. All in all I give it 3.75 howls out of 5 with the reservation to raise it to 4 with another couple of listens.
As this review will most certainly be picked up by the AP and find its way to Mos I have a simple message for the great musician and good MC (certainly not stronger than Kweli and Slick Rick which he knows and recognizes which I do appreciate) -> You got Bed-Stuy in ya belly, Brooklyn in ya bones, stay on NYC Hip Hop and leave hipster bullshit alone!
Much love Mos. Peace.
This music review is the definitive review of this album. It is not opinion, it is fact. Any disagreement with this review is not a reflection of the author but a confirmation of the ignorance of the person with the dissenting opinion. One.
I'll be honest, I was pretty damn excited about this album. Multiple sources touted it as "his best album since Black on Both sides" and some suggested it was possibly even better than that classic LP. The whole thing plays out like a live show, and much of it I am 95% sure I saw at Rock the Bells last summer. Mos really hits his stride in track 3 produced by the highly underrated Madlib (if you don't have Liberation which him and Kweli put out for free on the web a couple years back, get it) featuring Slick Rick the Ruler. For 5 or 6 tracks Mos is in the zone (and put me there with him. I think I got popped by a big brother speeding camera I slow down for every day on the way to work. Fuck those things.) and the rim looks like an ocean, runners, fadeaways, long threes, to the rim with the contact AND ONE! ONIONS! But then like any hot shooter Mos cools off and the album rolls slowly around the world for another 5 or 6 tracks until Kweli (with an assist from J Dilla, RIP) brings him back to Brooklyn for the last two tracks (dear Jackal please give us another Blackstar album STAT!). I can see why the album received such high praise, it has a ton of what white people love about Mos Def. However Hipsters should never talk about hip hop and although Black Dante is more worldly now he's at his best when he's has Bed-Stuy locked firmly in his scope. There wasn't enough of that for my taste.
All in all it's a good offering, but really only slightly better than True Magic which me and six other OJs (Original Jackals) bought. All in all I give it 3.75 howls out of 5 with the reservation to raise it to 4 with another couple of listens.
As this review will most certainly be picked up by the AP and find its way to Mos I have a simple message for the great musician and good MC (certainly not stronger than Kweli and Slick Rick which he knows and recognizes which I do appreciate) -> You got Bed-Stuy in ya belly, Brooklyn in ya bones, stay on NYC Hip Hop and leave hipster bullshit alone!
Much love Mos. Peace.
This music review is the definitive review of this album. It is not opinion, it is fact. Any disagreement with this review is not a reflection of the author but a confirmation of the ignorance of the person with the dissenting opinion. One.
Return Fire From Unprovoked Attack!
Dudes holding a kitty witty in his profile picture. I'm just saying...
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