KFTC: Obamanomics

Alright now that there's rumblings of a Den we used to know and we've appeased our dear leader by fraternizing with inconsequential distractions(which I dearly love, make no mistake, nothin' but love Ravens and Terps), how about we get down to brass tacks and discuss Keynesian economics? What is the Obama administration up to and should we call 'Shenanigans'? How likely is a full blown currency war? Will the next 12 - 18 months harbor a fiat currency collapse and is that why the Department of "Homeland Security" is purchasing millions of rounds of hollow-tip ammunition and other weapons of mass oppression? Tawlk amongst yaselves...

Mike Shanahan: Total Douche

I want to tread carefully here, I'm not a Redskins hater. I want the team to succeed. After giving up the amount of shit you did to get RGIIIsus, it's strange you'd try and ride him on a bum knee in his rookie season. I know the kid wants to be courageous, but what his team allowed him to do was fucking moronic. Like Mr. Boswell says, it might not be that bad, and what a ride while it lasted. But if it is, you're not gonna be able to go draft protection to prevent it from happening again. Some short-sighted, poorly thought out decisions. Glad my boys don't roll like that. Jus' sayin.  

KFTC: Presidential Debates

I can't wait to see who brings the 'X-Factor' in tonight's contest. One man will be the 'American Idol' when this is all said and done. It sure has been an 'Amazing Race' up to this point. One issue of contest will be terror on the homeland and the 'Fear Factor' of Americans in the 21st Century. I'm quite certain if the 'Price is Right', one of these men will make a strong bid to spend the next four years in the 'West Wing'. Oh, if only we had a read on these two jokers before this epitome of democratic discourse!

Did You Know?: Jackals Earnin' That Papa

Just by jackaling it up (or at least trying to, depending on how much jackalness one Jackals' Den can provide, but just by jackaling), you're making money. Believe it.

Crazy Shit: Nuke Accidents

"How close was it to exploding? My opinion is damn close. You might now have a very large Bay of North Carolina if that thing had gone off."

Religion: The Leading Cause of Death Worldwide

"It appears the knot may have been erroneously tied." No fucking shit. I can see how one might be drawn to just such a conclusion.

Also, how's this for hilarious but creepy neighbor antics?

Boogers McStrugglin'

So this Friday marks one month. No work. A ninja be strugglin' it ain't cool. I tried to put off going on the Unemployments, but once your ol' pal gets his paperwork submitted, he'll be just another statistic.

Friday Hottieconomics Post: Jim Rickards

• "We are witnessing the greatest theft in the history of the world."

Raising interest rates in stages to provide positive real returns to savers.

• Banning over-the-counter derivatives that serve no role in capital formation but greatly increase systemic risk.

• Breaking up too big to fail banks that pose systemic risk.

• Offering real price stability. Two percent inflation is not benign, it is cancerous.

• Create a favorable investment and growth climate by ending regime uncertainty in areas such as taxes, healthcare, regulation and other government impositions.

billhicksmostfunnydamus: The Big O

IBDEditorials should probably check in with the Den a little more often. They might find their ear to the grindstone or some shit. Y'all crackers are all kinds of 'last week'. My main man is in Alaska in the dark and he still puttin' ninjas asleep.

Good News! President Obama Will Have His Drone Returned*

*Although I'm not sure it will be as effective as the one they lost. It appears they're shooting for more of a child's toy/tool of propaganda. This foreign policy policy is working wonders...

"The toys come with a transparent plastic stand emblazoned with a quotation from Ayatollah Khomeini, the founder of the Islamic Republic: “We will put America under our feet.”

JOTD: Robert Welch

What is wrong with the United States simply minding its own business?

KFTC: PETA

Seriously, PETA? At times your cause seems noble. At other times still, I appreciate half-fully naked women in fur. It's awesome. But you really need to tone down the fun killing this time.

Hahahahahahahahah!: Dallas Cowgirls

After all of it. Ever since he fumbled the snap out of an extra point-length field goal to fuck Dallas out of a playoff berth, the fact that this can still be a headline is fucking priceless. Jerry Jones, Keep Fuckin' That Chicken!

Hahahahahaha!: Dudes that watch 'Dancing with the Stars'

So BD2 is always trying to convince me that Dancing with the Stars isn't GAF because there are hot professional dancers on some of the time. Well, I hope you had a great time looking at Nancy Grace's 51 year old nipple. That stupid bitch tried to say it was a pastie. KFTC.

KFTC: Reatlity TV

I'm sure some shithead is excited that this will bring ratings.

WTF?: Peepers

Hey hot chicks, beware...

"However, between Tuesday night — when a report about the episode appeared on Bay News 9 — and Wednesday morning when detectives returned, some of the electronic equipment was removed, said sheriff's spokesman Larry McKinnon.

The women didn't answer their door Wednesday, but in an interview Tuesday with Bay News 9 said their landlord has a key to the apartment."

Suck one, Glenn Beck!

And anyone else who bitched about Democrats "cramming this down their throat". I think that includes Rusty T. or OBD or what ever the fuck he wants to tattoo on his arm next. The part I'm a little fuzzy on is, if it was crammed down your throat, why did you regergitate it and proceed to recram it from whence it came? I will never understand. Maybe it was just to bide time until election season. What can't be denied is ever since Dems got they cram on, Congress as a whole ain't done shit. I should have put this post under the "KFTC" series.

KFTC: Miami Heat Fans

This shit is really fucking stupid. How are you going to have such little faith in "your" team? You really need to resort to black magic and voodoo because LeBron ain't the Chosen One. I'd "choose" Dwayne Wade over that bama any day of the week. Go get 'em, Dirk! Do we have to wait until Sunday again? Oh yeah and I just saw this. Karma can be a total bitch sometimes.

Ask a Jackal: US Military Expenditure

What say you, Jackals? How long can we keep fucking this chicken?

Wow: Sucks to Be That Guy

A hapless state information-technology worker who usually joined his office lottery pool took a pass last week -- only to learn that seven positive-thinking pals nailed a whopping $319 million Mega Millions jackpot, said a deli owner who knows the winners.

"The word is that when they were going around the office asking who wanted in on the pool, one guy said no, that he wasn't feeling lucky,"

Cook said the geek squad came in for lunch daily -- but haven't been seen since beating the one-in-176-million odds in Friday's drawing. Customers who know the winners told her they weren't planning to return to their jobs -- except to pass along unfinished business to colleagues.

KFTC, New York Post, as if the poor fucker didn't already feel like dying.