Clone Prevention: Foster a Dog

Life is trying to break me down, but this little dude has me covered. He just keeps it so real. See a little bit of the Brode man in ol' Spot here. Poor guy, Spot is a shit name for a dog, but he responds to it and I  am kind of screwed. 

UNF in the news.......

..........just trying to get a lifeline on the Boogers Man! Here ya go, this story is sure to pull on a Jackal's heartstrings. You know what they say about how a monkey reacts when he is caged. Well, what do you expect? A spade is a spade. A human in an office is really just a monkey in a cage.

BHMF STAKES CLAIM........

......to the northern star. Anyone who ever uses it to navigate by shall henceforth owe BHMF a royalty of $4.20 per usage. O Canada, of all the crazy things...... Side note: Dusty Dog done claimed every deer carcass btw here and Richmond.

When I Say It's On, Then It's On

Mr. bhmf,

   What do you make of this?

BMR Needs Some Wilderness

Yo yo yo, bhmf! This ninja be tryin' to get all jackal and camp, but time does not permit. Driving west through Virginia on a Friday night is not a good look for your ol' pal Boogs. On the heels of a vacation(with family including small kids that doesn't really end up being much of a vacation at all(not a lot of getting awesome/little sleep/lots of questions about why BMR can't get hitched and crank out a few pups)), it would be pretty sweet to just jackal shit up on a mountain and go bearing. How is little Oso anyway? Tell that motherfucker to keep his head up and scratch a few bamas with his crooked ass claw. Slam a few cold ones for me. And the next chance we get, let's make her happen.

All I'm gonna say.......

.......is that coming this Friday all the bears on the mountain had best hide all their women and children bears b/c there will be some crazy Jackals on the loose. And we all know what happened last time. Nah, in all seriousness, I am just kidding. I love bears (and all wild animals) and actively root for them to inherit the earth. Newsflash: the meek shall not inherit the earth and bears are certainly not meek. Anyways I am getting sidetracked, what I really came here to say was things ain't gonna be the same around the campfire. Just like the Den ain't the same w/o SS, things won't be the same round the fire w/o da Boogers. But ah well, ninjas got shit to do sometimes and I can understand that. I ain't gonna get all worked up about it.

I could get all worked up about those Jackals that neva mek it. I could get all worked up bout ninjas thinking/urging/inviting BHMF to use social media. But I digress.......

Satan is BHMF's Motor!

Like Santa Claus once said: "A friend of the Devil is a friend of mine." And this saying has always held true for, well, yours truly. You see what I am trying to get at, is.....well.....just wanted to say I got wheels...... 18 wheels........to be specific...................and so it goes.........although I would much prefer to be retired like I was before I have instead decided to join the rat race, for a little while at least........and in celebration of my new job and all that it entails I just wanted to give the Jackals Den, and more specifically, one Mr. Boogers Mc Rib a great big shout out, for the only thing I can figure is this Jackal must be working his fingers to the bone...........it only makes sense right???.........mad love to my working ninja's ----------BMR N RTB WTF is up my ninjas!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

If Boogers lived across the pond

You know who he'd be voting for. Just sayin....

Cougars: Awesome... wait what?

As soon as I see that word...

KFTC: American Dominance

Once this bad boy is up and running, the global marketplace might look very different. Lucky for your ol' pal Boogers, he loves some crab meat wonton.

The World is Not TOTALLY Fucked

So I'm typically one to assume that a majority of carbon-based life forms are on the take. They're out to get a piece of what's Boogers's. Well broad brushes are great for painting barns, but you wouldn't want one to paint by number if you know what I'm sayin'...

But every once in a UNF colored moon, you get some wise guy(or gal), doing the right thing. Just because. Let me tell you it's fucking awesome. I had my day made by somebody who did something they didn't have to do at all. You see BMR's house has been hot as fuck. So dude went out on the ol' lunch break and picked up a Vornado at my local Strosnider's Hardware because you know BMR loves to help the little guy. So anyway, I leave work a little early, go to the parking garage, pay my parking, get up to the car, drive to my house only to discover at some point, I put down the Vornado and didn't pick it back up. I left it in the garage.

I spent the whole night pissed about the $75 I just flushed down the toilet. Stewed on it for a solid four hours of disbelief that I could be that fucking stupid. I had a good friend say, "Don't be pissed until you check the lost and found." I laughed at that thought and while hoping, assured myself that I would soon buy another fan. Wouldn't you know, some beautiful bastard picked that fuckin' thing up and took it to the parking office. It goes to show, if you're after getting the honey, don't go killing all the bees if you know what I'm saying.

JOTD: Macho Man Manny Machado

With his seventh-inning single, Machado became the second player (Cobb being the other) in the history of baseball to record three plus hits in five straight road games before reaching age 21. Again, you can pull a stat or a record out of thin air for anything, but saying that Ty Cobb is the only other guy to have done that puts Machado in rare company.

WTF?: Humans

Alright, bhmf, everyone knows your stance on a carbon tax and why you think it's bullshit. What do you have to say about this? We have to find a way to make "green" business good business. Why the fuck is the map pictured below not a horrible joke, but a legitimate business proposal actually being reviewed by the President of the United States? What does a jackal have to do to make "global warming"/"climate change" real? Stupid jesus freaks...

Friday Hottie: Zehia Dehar

 Worth a gander...

KFTC: Budweiser

And how is Anheuser-Busch lowering the per-beer calorie count? Easy! It is putting less beer inside each can.
 

Once Upon a Jackalcation

Well these jackals had quite a little adventure in the VA hills. Climbing a waterfall, rescuing our little friend L.O., vomiting the contents of a children's swimming pool. That shit was pretty awesome. We jackals surely represented, shit I saw bhmf eat at least two worms or some shit he found under a rock. I'll tell you this man, don't change the lock combo, if shit hits the fan, I'm heading your way. Hoooowwwwlllll!!!!

Do Ya Thang: Hokies?

Alright, alright. Settle down. Love me some alternative energy.

BMR & RTB (April 12-13-14)

.....................Boogers Mc Rib!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ......................Sorry, had to do it!!!!!! Lol!!!!!!!!! .........In case I be repeating -----> April 12-13-14 ------> Make it happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yeah in case u was curious, I've done that barefoot firewalk before -----> Not with you Jackals, but I've done it -----> The Scar on my Foot (not shoulder mine you) will prove it! Just releasing the info, do with it what you will........................

Charmcity Champs

LOTD: Sara Volz

”I sleep on my algae’s light cycle.”

Keeping It Jackal: Arcangelo Bianco Jr.

According to charging documents, the deer ran around a corner of the store, and Bianco hopped out of his truck, gun in hand, and “began firing multiple rounds at the deer.”

Anubis' Will Be Done: BMR's goin' bald

Well shit, Sheriff. It's been a roller coaster over the past two weeks or so, swinging violently from "Shit, my hair's falling out!" to "nah Jackal, I'm straight. At least a few more years." It seemed like I couldn't get a straight answer. I'm looking pretty fucked at this point. All the 'danger zones' are afflicted. I've seen a similar pattern on the Jackal BallDeep's melon. It's upsetting, but I'm not about to go cryin' like a bitch. But seriously, it be fuckin' wit' a ninja.

KFTC: The Federal Reserve

Good news! Everyone claiming doom and gloom in the economic news can suck it. Ben Bernanke is on the case. 

"At this point, we're not seeing a major risk to the U.S. financial system or the U.S. economy." 

Rest assured, the Fed will wait until shit hits the fan to assess risk.

Selling the Farm: Baltimore Ravens

What a difference a month makes. #81 spent all of December and January killing Broncos, Patriots and 49ers, and now he's heading to San Francisco. I remember crapping my pants last year when Jarret Johnson, Cory Redding, one Tom "JOTD" Zbikowski, Todd Heap a few years ago, salary caps be a bitch. Good thing Pittsburgh is totally fucked.

RTB's Continuing Fascination with all things Ursine

All these pics, and pretty much all the text is from http://mkmcst.com/michaelswildAmerica/

and some from Timothytreadwellmighthavebeenadumbass.com. But mostly all from Michaels Wild America-

the report here

Choice quotes here-, copied directly from above link at Michaels Wild America-

"The next voice is from Timothy as he screams “Get out here! I’m getting killed out here!” (Tim was wearing a remote microphone on his coverall’s). The sound of a tent zipper is then heard and the tent flap opening. Amie is heard screaming over the background sounds of rain hitting the tent, the wind, and other storm sounds all mixed in with the bear and Tim fighting to “Play dead!” Seconds pass before Amie yells again to “Play dead!” (Van Daele 2004)

Not surprisingly, with Amie yelling and screaming nearby, this seems to work and the bear breaks off the attack. (more on this below) A short conversation ensues as Amie and Tim try and determine if the bear is really gone. Being trained as a physician’s assistant, it is believed that Amie made her way to Tim, and from the sounds caught on tape, the bear returns and Amie is forced to back off. Tim then is clearly heard screaming that playing dead isn’t working and begs her to “hit the bear!” ( Van Daele 2005, Fallico 2004)

The sound of rain hitting the tent, along with wind muffle the sounds at this point. However, Amie is clearly heard yelling to “Fight back!” She is then heard screaming “Stop! Go Away! or possibly Run Away!” as the sound of “a frying pan is used to beat the top of the bears head and the sound of Tim moaning. (Fallico 2004)

It is believed that at this point in the attack, the bear let go of Tim’s head which the bear had in it’s mouth, and grabbed him somewhere in the upper leg area. The sound of Amie screaming very loudly, as Tim is clearly heard over the sounds of the storm, saying “Amie get away, get away, go away”. Tim knew he was going to die at this point and wanted to save Amie from the same fate. (Herzog, Fallico 2004)

Amie did not go away.The audio portion of this video tape lasts roughly 6 minutes. During this period, Tim’s cries and pleadings can be heard for two-thirds of that time. He did not die quickly, unlike some traumatic death victims who were lucky enough to drift off into a shock induced dream state. Tim was obviously very aware and struggling desperately to survive during the last moments of his life.

Unlike what is portrayed in the movies, the bear is nearly silent. Only low growls and periodic grunts are heard which only adds to the horror of the scene. Sounds of the bear dragging Tim off, and the fading sounds of his scream’s indicate that Tim is being pulled and dragged into the brush and away from camp."

Basically dudes girlfriend (Amie) started his camcorder, and captured the last 6 minutes of both of their lives. It apparently was just audio, but this story is both horrifying and fascinating to me. 

Here is the grizzly man after being with his "friends " for a bit-

Here is one of the 2!!! bears the rangers had to shoot on the scene- 

In summary, bears are the top predators of the world, eclipsing even the mighty komodo dragon (but only by a cunt hair, in awesomeness), Tim Treadwell was playing with fire and got his girlfriend killed, and thanks to Michaels Wild America, because of your site, I only had to write like 4 sentences for this post. 



Boom!

RTB'S Friday Hottie- Rand(y) Paul

Yeah , thats right. I did that shit.

Sorry, but I got full wood for a guy who was calling out the bamanitors plan for skynet to happen, basically by hisself.

You think Virginia IRS agents, whoops, I mean revenue producing traffic dicks, dolt!, I mean law enforcement officers are dicks now, wait till they have MQ-9 Reapers and Predators patrolling the skies for you doing 69mph in a 65mph zone, let alone you doing anything else, on  your own "private property".

Drones don't respect private property from the air.

Sure, now we have assurance the president doesn't have authority to kill an "unarmed" American citizen on US soil, but that still isn't much.

Creeping incrementalism.

Skynet is here.



Thanks for being a lone voice in the wilderness Mr. Paul.

FUCK ROBOTS!

But in the spirit of friday hotties- here are a few robot sluts-

KFTC: U.S. "Defense" Spending

Yeah, let's cut spending across the board so we can afford to buy a bunch of shit we don't need. Especially since China is doing the same shit. KFTC.

GC(s)OTD: BMC Medicine Researchers

Thanks a lot, bro. You researchers at BMC Medicine have some nerve. Do you see any one of us jackals taking shots at medical research? Yeah, how about we fuck with something you think is awesome? It's pretty obvious bacon and it's delicious cohorts are out to get us. Do we care? I think not. Have you ever looked a bacon explosion in the eyes and turned it away into the cold, dark of night? Never. Go fuck your gay clone.

G(s)COTD: The Big 3 Beermakers

"Why are the most popular American beers so weak?

Because they’re the next best thing to prohibition. "

Friday Hottie: Nina Agdal