JOTD: Pablo Solon

Pablo, put them fools asleep, my country included. Big oil will run our planet into the shitter until we make alternative energy big business.

KFTC: Right Wingers

Bernanke and his colleagues were clearly caught by surprise, but the budget expert Stan Collender predicted it all. Back in August, he warned Mr. Bernanke that “with Republican policy makers seeing economic hardship as the path to election glory,” they would be “opposed to any actions taken by the Federal Reserve that would make the economy better.” In short, their real fear is not that Fed actions will be harmful, it is that they might succeed.


GOP, please continue engaging in intercourse with said gallus domesticus. I fucking hate you clones.

JOTD: Torrey Smith

14 catches. 224 yards. 4 TDs. Dude is the fucking truth. I hope he comes back for one more year...

JOTD: Scar Shoulders

I'm gonna get so fuckin Jackal today you might need to invent a new word for Jackaling it up. I've already ran about 10 errands had breakfast and am about to go workout. Tonight will be beyond your wildest dreams as far as getting awesome is concerned. I hope all of you are down to celebrate my birthday to death. Howl at your fucking boy. Caps at 5. District Chophouse at 8. Rock and Roll Hotel at 10:30. After party at 3. Be there or be clone.

JOTD: Tico

This lunatic has been cracking me up all week. First Head asks him if him and I have ever celebrated our birthday together because they are one day apart. His reply "We are alive so obviously not, but e should make it happen". Awesome.

Then today he gives me a much appreciated Movember donation and leaves the following on my MoSpace for everyone at work to see "Fuck yeah!!! keep Cancer at bay, like a pirate all you need is something fucking balls and the right attitude, and your MR. LEE have them it"

Sweet sweet Tico, you are the fucking man sir.

JOTD: Vladimir Putin

Vladimir Putin is jackal, ba leeve it. We have to jackal the fuck up and save some tigers, yo. Stop cutting down trees, you stupid fucks. China, why don't you get your shit together? You and India, stop fuckin'.

Girlfriend/Wife/etc Requirements

Bitches need to know how to cook that's #1
#2 likey sucky a cocky

There is no #3 really but if there was, what would it be?

KFTC: TSA

 So if you're fat or smell bad, you can expect the brunt of the TSA's work. 

KFTC: India

Y'all need to chill with the 'gagiggity in the shmoygin', if you know what I mean. Bill Burr says it much better. 650 million person increase in 50 years. 17% of the world lives in India. KFTC.

BMR and SS hold shit down!

Blackout!

Friday Hottie: Sophie Howard

 You guys have to google this photo shoot and check out the one where she loses the top.

Karma Is A Bitch: Tony Parker

Haha! Dare you go, Tony Parker! How you like that you son of a bitch? I knew she was too good for your clone, French ass. The Spurs suck, you suck and now I can go back to completely sweating your (soon to be) ex-wife.

Eva, get your fly tookus over here and let BMR show you how jackals do. Uh, you missed a spot, sweetie.

KFTC: The Devil

I once had a nurse from Trinidad and Tobago. She was one of the hottest women I've ever seen. The image put forth by this story is slightly more disturbing.

Jackal Reunion Week Continues!

Sunday Head, the Lynx, BMR and I Jackaled it up in college park. The phrase "mustache vagina cursed" was tossed around like it was nothing in front of the waitress by the only parent at the table.

Last night Head and I had dinner and a few beers and then I came home and lifted and drank more beers.

Tonight I meet Epstein for dinner and beers and then not 5 minutes after he walks out the door the phone rings...

SHOTE SLEEVES IS COMING TO TOWN! And he wants to Jackal it up with BMR and SS tomorrow on H st.

Anubis is smiling upon us and works in truly mysterious ways.

HOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

Ouch

"This is why Malcom Delaney is still in college."

- Doug Gottlieb on Malcom Delaney's ability to handle the basketball.

Ouch.

Jackal Definitions: 'Jackal Proposition'

What is a proposition? For that matter, what is a jackal proposition? Is it not to be mulled over and contemplated? Should it not be evaluated for its thorough and complete jackalization of any given afternoon, late night, bloody mary morning, etc.? That said, I don't really see how we could get awesome, drink a flask and somehow get to Bmore for an event which BMR has unequivocally boycotted. If a man has a mustache, does he need a wingman? If a jackal gives another jackal shit about leaving a bar that was playing the Black Eyed Peas, is his shit justified?

Dem Clones

Why has this song not been dissected in great detail on the blog and featured on a Jackals LP? Slipping, we are...

KFTC: Crazy Bitches

Wow. There are quite a few things in this story that make me scratch my head. You're 30, why are you fucking around with 19 year-olds? If you are indeed packing your schwanz into a 19 year-old vajayjay, why are you tattooing it's name on your neck. Why does anyone, R.J. Bentley's waitress or otherwise, get their neck tatted?

Rusty T.-conomics: Buy a Car, Get an AK-47

Now that's how you get automobiles off the lot. I'm sure the Lynx would be like, "No, now the car buyer can go rob a bank!" or some shit. Whatever. We'll get out of this recession, or we'll just be heavily armed when shit completely hits the fan.

Pickles probably prevent Prostate cancer

Speaking of Protests..

Hand-job Protest Song - watch more funny videos

Now this is what a real protest looks like......

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/11/protesters-bomb-police-station-cart-full-burning-cannabis/

Read the article but more importantly watch the video at the bottom.

Violence, sporting events, copious amounts of alcohol: I think a mancation to the World Rugby Cup is in order.

Jackals on the prowl

Comcast Center has been invaded.

Friday Hotties: Women of the UFC

So much beauty in the face of brutality.


Hopefully they consoled this guy:

JOTD: Pe'Shon Howard

That #21 looks real good on you young General.

JOTD: John Wall

John Wall puts up his first triple double of his career. I think he is the 5th fastest to ever get a triple double in his career, in his 6th game. 19 pts 13 assists 10 board 6 steals 1 blocked shot and only 1 TO

Do you know who the 4th fastest was?


We're probably going to see this dude jackal it up in the Den a lot, huh?

KFTC II: NFL Network

You're providing a forecast for a football game. In a dome. KFTC.

KFTC: Ohio

Look, bringing down towers, in the right direction, is a fucking hard thing to do. Ohio, you head back to that list of condemned structures and industrial-grade dynamite and you try again. You don't completely suck at everything, do you?

Mancation Memories: Droppa and 'The Goat'

All Shote Sleeves' talk about Mancation planning got ol' BMR's wheels turning a bit. You see Boog, Ol' Filthy, Droppa Deuce and Ball Deep went all family vacation style and drove that ass to Montreal. We certainly had some good hucks along the way. There wasn't one I recall more vividly than explaining "The Goat" to Droppa for the first time.

*Dramatization: Ball Deep's Durango is not this savage

Withered, stinky travelers were blazing southbound after 'Merica's paranoid ass made us wait at the border and practically beg to come home. But that gave us plenty of time to rock out to 'We (Symbol of a Gun) Clones' and talk about how awesome lappers were at Cafe Paree. It may have been the cafe that had your boy Boogers eyeing up everything female that rolled by. One such roll by prompted BMR to shout obscenities(rare, I know). At that time, your boy explained he was "about to show that bitch 'The Goat'", and Droppa fell in sweet sweet love. No one was actually shown The Goat that day, but maybe, just maybe, Shote Sleeves gets his Mancation and some unfortunate elderly woman gets a terrific panorama of a dozen grown men hunched over with their junk between their legs. Amen, Shotey. A Mancation is in order.

More to the story

See here

Happy Birthday Shote Sleeves!

Your present is an embarrassing alumnus:



Oh, and some more bad news about Mr. Newton.* Have a great day!

*For the record, (1) I think he's amazing and really hope he can keep playing this season and (2) I sort of think college players should be paid in some way for the revenue they generate for their schools and (3) I'm not sure why we care about his academics at his previous school except as part of a slander campaign to convince the public that athletes are dirty so that ADs can avoid what I said in (2).

KFTC: Jackals Disguised As Philanthropists

Yo, to you jackals exploiting disease to improve your chances of 'Babyface-esque' dick wetness, KFTC. I don't appreciate it in the slightest. Boogers is boycotting all things 'Movember'*.



* All things ' Movember' that put other jackals' "asscapades" disproportionately ahead of his own.

Goddamnit...

No Way!: BaltimoreRavens.com Be Jockin' BMR's Styles

Virginia Tech 28, Georgia Tech 21

Well, it was painful almost from start to finish - a friend who went to the game with me likened it to a bout where one boxer was drunk and the other's left arm stopped working in the 5th round - but we got the win and that's all that matters. Random thoughts:

• David Wilson is fast. Though I have to say I can't remember another time that I watched a special teams touchdown with my hands in my pockets. From my angle I could see what looked like a huge hole as soon as he caught the kickoff and thought, "I'm pretty sure he's going to score." And he did.
  
• We've now fallen behind 17-0, 10-0, 17-0, and 14-0 in four games this year and come back to take the lead in all four of those games (and win all but the Boise State game). At some point this is going to have to stop or it's going to cost us a game we need to win (I'm guessing the ACC Championship).
  
• Similarly, the offense is going to need to be better than this. It would have been nice for the D to perform better, but really they were good enough to win. The only reason the game was close was because the offense bogged down for more than two quarters against a defense that NC State shredded for 45 points.
  
• After being a real weapon four weeks in a row, wow was Jayron Hosley terrible on punt returns tonight.
• It's a big bummer that Nesbitt got hurt and is now out for the year - it's a crappy way to win a game and a crappy way for a good player to end his career (though I guess he could be back for their bowl game).
  

So are the Terps going to meet us in Charlotte for the ACC Championship?

Friday Hottie: Catrinel Menghia