Rapture Imminent: These Parents Should Be Drawn and Quartered

If you have yet to lose faith in humanity and the decency of America, look no further than TLC(once stood for The Learning Channel, now synonymous with brain toilet). They ran J&K+8 into the sixth layer of hell, why not plaster some cosmetics on toddlers and start them on a path of beauty competitions(because the world isn't enough of a beauty contest anyway, see John McCain's 2008 running mate) when all they want to do is play Nintendo DS?   

GCOTD: Big Ben

It would not be the NFL without some offseason Legal trouble. What a moron. Remember a few years ago with this dickhead crashed his motorcycle without a helmet? Seriously Big Ben, your a douche.

So let me get this straight, so if you pay someone millions of dollars to play a kids game and allow them to glide through school and life and then expect them not a be retard they will be one anyway?

Crazy Enough to Work

I fucking love dogs. Don't get me wrong. I was really fucking pissed when I found out what MV and his jigga-whos were up to down there. Hear me out on this. The Ravens already have a reputation for stabbing ninjas and generally disregarding human well-being. Derrick Mason, shocked I'm sure by the shooting death of his good friend while he was boozed up and getting very unjackal with a mistress(jackals are monogamous, ba-leeve it!), has left the dirty birds in need of a solid receiver. It's been the speculation of many that Michael Vick should have never been an NFL quarterback. Football is too much of a team sport for the running quarterback to ever be a truly dominant force.

At this point, reinstatement would only allow Vick to attend a training camp. I don't see the harm in trying Vick out for six weeks. Any thoughts on whether this might work or not, jackals? I submit it would be one of the top three most exciting offenses to watch in the NFL, given that it's my team, I would obviously vote THE most exciting, but I'm trying to be somewhat objective. Cam Cameron drew up some rediculous shit last year, this play being one of the prettier ones. Welcome back, SS. I almost told you, specifically, to wise from your gwabe, but you chimed in in a timely fashion and for that, all jackals are put on notice.

Hoooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right my ninjas and my ninjettes, Scar Shoulders is back up in this motha fucka, let's take it back to June 2009!!!

Work be holding a brother down like a DC United scarf weighing down the awesomeness of fallen Jackals. But like Dr Dre breaking free from BAN like Easy E and Tim Dogg I've shed the shackles of the IT overlords and am ready to get awesome as it once was and shall always be.

So what have I missed in the Den? General Boogers and Ball D behavior from Boogers and Ball D. Did our new contributor step up to the plate while I was sidelined with an injury? Negative. Did Head post? If by post you mean guzzle dick. Did VM figure out how to string 8 paragraphs together and get his link on? He did about as much as Pontius attended a real sporting event.

For fuckin shame. The Ewing Theory certainly wasn't in effect during my absence. But I'm back, and I'm dedicated until I head off to AC Friday at noon and then Greece for 2 weeks. So get ready to get awesome and then get choked by the vapors.

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