Jackal Days of Christmas

Old Ass Motherfuckin' Jackal of the Day

This dude is fuckin' jackal, he called his 102nd birthday "crap" and he modeled his architecture after the shape of Brazilian women. Dude's been in exile, I didn't know you could go into exile in the 20th century. Dude also enjoys a fine cigar and  married 38 years younger.

Confusing situation: Rich dude + busted ass hoes = BD2 confused

If I had billions of dollars, was an amazingly talented athlete, had global fame and recognition, yachts, houses, money, intelligence and my own brand I admit things would be different for me. It would probably allow me to have temptations that normal plebs will never encounter.

But why on earth did Tiger pick nasty tramps to cheat with? He could have had anyone. Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, etc. etc. Why these nasty bitches??

Was he sick of being part of a sport owned, run by and supported by a bunch of rich white dudes and putting up a Bryant Gumble front?

"Hey gang, I love tennis, golf, polo and cashmere sweaters and other
white people things and use proper English and golly do I love a nice ice cream on a warm day. "

Only to jackal it up and wild out on the town with strippers in the shadows so he wouldn't lose the green jackets the stuffy white dudes gave him? If so that is cool, but jesus man don't sleep with the tramps. If I was a woman and made like $12 an hour as a cocktail waitress and Tiger woods banged me, best believe I would do an interview with the today show for $150K. You should know that...dumbass.

Your wife is hot (sort of....kinda has a dude jaw) and if you don't like her you could always trade her in for a new model in like 10-15 years like most respectable famous people do. It is sort of hard to feel bad for him because if you cheat you are going to get caught. Bottom line. You always get caught. Even if you work at the night shift at McDonalds, you are going to get caught. Women bleed for days and don't die. Dem bitches is crazy, yo! You are rich, you had a pre-nup. If you didnt like her then dump her. Cheating is for sucks. That said, I do feel bad for Tiger (even though I don't really like him at all.) This media is out of control. So many scrimps a jackal is drownin' in dis bitch.

So Tiger, I hope you are on your yacht in Sweden chillin' with some Swedish bitches, because deez fools have gone crazy over here in 'Merica.

PS - In case anyone cares there is still real news going on NPR radio, Bloomberg and one or two remaining real news sources.