Happy Birthday Jackie!

What up short stack? Gotta give ya a shout out on your first birthday. I see you're as shocked as we are that your uncle tends to ask waitresses if they are wearing a Calvin Klein Bra, this is a good sign. In honor of your big day I'm gonna hit you off with a list of things you can overcome cause Jackal knows they ain't ya fault.

1. You didn't pick to live in the armpit. That ain't ya fault.


2. You didn't pick the name Lucy. That ain't ya fault. You wanted to be Jackie and your uncle SS will always respect that.


3. You didn't pick to be so damn attracted to Linus. Dude's 1 year old and has a bad ass scar, you can't resist that. That ain't ya fault.


4. You didn't pick to be a Creel, genetically destined to be as athletically gifted as Kerry Collins and as fond of the bottle as Kerry Collins. That ain't ya fault.


5. You didn't pick to have a father that huffs saltwater out of a freaking tea kettle. That ain't ya fault.

Finally you didn't pick to be a mutha fuckin Jackal from the cradle to the grave. That shit sure as fuck ain't ya fault but it is a mutha fuckin honor. Raise a leg a piss on Ruby to celebrate, it's your big day. Happy #1.

ps "You're such a good girl, yes you are. you're such a good little Lucy Wucy. Yes you are, yes you are" - Uncle D who used to be Jackal as fuck and now is apparently invisible...

pps never EVER go in a room alone with Uncle Short Sleeves.